The Wolf Pack: Ch 1 Part 2

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Two Days Later
I stood up straight, keeping my chin forward and eyes pointed at the ground. The High Alpha sat behind the desk in front of me, his cold, blue eyes closely examining every visible detail about me. The High Alpha was the leader of the Pack and only answered to the Highers. He glanced down at the paper in his callused hands and back up at me, and then back down at the paper again.
I took the time to figure what I could about this man because I knew if I wanted to get any higher in the Pack I would have to become friends with him. The High Wolf was only middle aged, at least a hundred years old if the rumors among the Pups were correct, and was said he would serve the Pack and the Linox Empire another fifty years. Laugh lines were etched deep in to his face, setting him with an eternal smile. I remember many years ago asking my mother about him and she told me that he was an extremely powerful Werewolf. She said that he had defeated the previous High Alpha by defeating him in single combat, killing the old High Alpha, and he would gloat about it to anyone who would ask. As far as I knew no one among the Pack knew about him before he became an Alpha.
“Your teachers have many good things to say about you,” he said setting the paper down. “Many have said I should promote you to the rank of Second Beta right away, and there are some who want me to make you a Third Beta. It seems funny, though, that your own brother, Third Beta Gregor, is the only one with any thing bad to say about you. He said that you are daydreamer and drift off during class.” He began to tap his finger on the table, producing an annoying noise. I kept quiet as he kept on tapping, my pension building up as the minutes passed by.
Nearly twenty minutes had passed before I could get the nerve to say anything. “So, what are you going to do, sir?” I made sure my eyes were always pointed away from his, and that my head was held down in deference to his authority. When he did not answer straight away I added, “I will be fine with whatever you want, sir. I am always open for your great wisdom, sir.”
The smile on his face deepened as he let out a throaty laugh. “That is another trait your teachers said you possess. If I remember Fourth Beta Ash’s exact words, he said, ‘Always looking to further himself no matter what he has to do to someone, or himself.’” I felt the blood rush up to my cheeks, knowing what he said was true. I have gotten many Pups in trouble in my time at the Academy to make myself look better. As a result I did not have many friends, and the few that I had were afraid of me.
The High Alpha smiled at my reaction and continued, “Though I am not against furthering yourself, you will only earn much hate towards you from those under you.” He opened a drawer from behind his desk and pulled out a piece of paper. “This will cause me many problems among the other Betas and the Pups will constantly annoy me about it, but I will follow your teachers’ advice promote you Second Beta. Only on one condition though.”
“What would that be, sir?” I asked, smiling to myself on the inside.
“Promise me that you will give any First Betas under you the respect you deserve. They will oppose you because they will feel like they’ve cheat, being put under someone who is younger and with less combat experience than them.” He pulled a pen from his pocket and signed his initials on the bottom of the paper. I.X., I said to myself, immediately storing it at the back of my mind for later use. “This paper alone indicates that you have achieved the rank of First Beta. Signed on the first line by me or an Alpha promotes you to Second Bata, which I have.” He reached back into the drawer of his desk and pulled out a folder with my name written on the front, and placed the paper he had signed inside, before replacing it back into the drawer.
“Any questions, Lethero?” he asked. I shook my head. “Then stand Second Beta Lethero.” I stood up quickly, nearly knocking over my chair in the process. “I will place you under the command of Alphas Roger and Pera. They have recently lost a Second Beta to sickness so they are one Second Beta short of a hunting pack. They have the respect of their Betas, so maybe they will be able to teach you a thing or two.”
“I will try my best, sir,” I said, bowing deeply to him. “I also wish to thank you greatly for giving me this position even though I do not deserve it. I will exceed in all the tasks presented to me, and earn the First Betas’ respect.”
“That’s all I ask for.” He settled back into his seat and folded his hands on the desk in front of him. “I have one more request before you leave.” I looked up, still avoiding his eyes. “I want you to look into my eyes and tell me what you see.”
My heart skipped a beat. To look into someone’s was like undermining your superiors orders. Many Pups had been punished and beaten for looking directly into their teachers’ or parents’ eyes. But I knew that if I was to advance quickly I would have to listen to him. I stared into the High Alphas eyes and got a realization that would get me killed if I ever spoke a word about. I could tell by looking in to the calculating eyes that the High Alpha was not a Werewolf, but Wizard of the Higher.
` He smiled at the shock on my face and briefly said, “You are dismissed.”
Fly, Fight, Win . . . in Air, Space, and Cyberspace.
-Air Force Mission Statement-

Integrity First
Service Before Self
Excellence In All We Do
~Air Force Core Values~

*Lethero*




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Please, you must keep going.
Its like not being able to finish a book.
It sooooo irritating! I love this story and now you leave me
wanting more!




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Bonjour, Lethero! Sorry it took me so long to review this. I really enjoyed reading this story and can't wait for you to expand. There are very few grammar errors! You should be proud.

Lethero wrote:He glanced down at the paper in his callused hands and back up at me, and then back down at the paper again.

This sentence is a little awkward. It's probably just because of the word 'and' being so close together. You have this a few times throughout the story, so keep that in mind when your writing.

Lethero wrote:I took the time to figure what I could about this man because I knew if I wanted to get any higher in the Pack, I would have to become friends with him.

Reading outloud will help you catch any errors like these.

Lethero wrote:As far as I knew, no one among the Pack knew about him before he became an Alpha.


Lethero wrote:I kept quiet as he kept on tapping, my pension building up as the minutes passed by.

I love this sentence! This helped me connect with your MC because being annoyed by little things like that happens everyday in the real world. So, as far as I have noticed, adding little things from reality boosts the readers connection with your fantasy MC.

Lethero wrote: I stood up quickly, nearly knocking over my chair in the process.

I like this sentence as well. :)

Overall, you did really well. Please continue. Although,I am guessing that they are in human form? I think you should clarify that a little more. Also, what does Lethero look like? How old is he? Where are they? You will probably get this in further chapters, but make sure it's pretty soon. This may be just me, but I had a hard time picturing what everyone looked like and sometimes what was going on.

Keep writing! Good luck!

-Kate :elephant:
"Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he, then, be trusted with the government of others?"

-Thomas Jefferson




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Please please please post more! Its so awesome, i just want to read more!
I hate cynicism -- it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you, amazing things will happen. - Conan O'Brien



That awkward moment when you jump out a window because your friend jumped out a window, then you remember that your other friend can fly.
— Rick Riordan, The Ship of the Dead