A poem for broken hearts and lost love

Um, yeah, I wrote this in about a minute. Oh, and vain, in case you don't understand, means useless in this. Ok, so read and review!!!
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A poem for broken hearts and lost love:

What’s a game you never win? Love.
What’s a heart when it’s left in the rain? Lost.
What’s a word to describe what we used to be? Overrated.
What’s taking the time to set our hearts free? Vain.
What’s a scar left on the heart? Eternal.

So what is love, really?

Lost
Overrated
Vain
Eternal
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Review please!

I really like this poem. It is short and sweet, but says a thousand words. I like the way you expressed yourself, and in so few words. Thaks for sharing

I love the poem, i really like how you ended it.

Hmm, I like the idea here. You are certainly bringing something new to love poetry genre. I just wish you would delve a little deeper. I don't necessarily like the whole question and answer format, is there some other way to present it? Could you expand on your answers? Why is love vain? Is it really love if it is self-centered? If something is lost, can't it also be found? Why is love overrated? I don't think it truly is. Perhaps wanting to be loved can be overrated at times, but the actual act of selfless love? How could you ever tire of that? Yes, selfless love is eternal. But to me it would seem that you are talking about superficial love. And like all things superficial, it will never last.

Hi there a_kittens_claws! I'm Conrad, and I'll be your reviewer for today.

So, this is an interesting view of love that you're bringing up. Not one that I can really agree with, but it is an interesting view nonetheless.

My opinions of love aside, I really think that you need to revise this from the beginning and think of a better way to say this view. The whole question and answer format that you've got going on here really isn't going for me. It doesn't feel like a poem, more like a series of random questions. I know this is something you probably want to avoid. My suggestion? Take out the answers, but leave everything else the same. That way, when people look at the end, they will still see what you mean with this poem, but it will be a bit more subtle. That is always good.

So, a good start, but it needs work. PM me if you have any questions or comments.

Good job, and good luck.

-Conrad Rice

Hi Kitten Claws! I'm Kat, and I'll be reviewing, okay?

Haha, this remembered be of a poem I wrote of a somewhat similar style. Different, though. Anyway, I like what you're going on with this. But one thing that doesn't fall very well with me is your straightforwardness. This could take up some mystery. As Con said, the thing that would really help this would be development. Let's imagine you give a stanza (a stanza is a group of verses ) to each topic (love, lost, vain, etc) and get some mystery in the first lines and then reveal it in the end. With some more development. This feels too much like 'telling and no showing', meaning that use some cliché examples (like the heart out in the rain) and some other factors that don't make me feel it. Poetry is a very emotional poem, so I think that with development, adding lines, adding more into it, you could fix all of your problems here!

So, good luck and thanks for posting!
- Kat