The 'Surest' Way

Though safety we have on the 'surest' way,

We may find our greatest adventures lay

Round the bend in the path, the turn in the road

It may lead to tempests and troubles and floods,

But it may lead to mountains, jungles and seas,

We'll never know or see any of these

If we flinch from the bend in the road and we stay

On the safest, most comfortable, 'surest' way.

But it may lead to mountains and jungles and seas,

"but it may also lead to mountains, jungles and seas" sounds better. using "and" too much in a sentence is a sin for me haha

aside from that, I think this piece doesn't have anything to be critiqued for. It's short so we can expect a "safe" type of poetry meaning the shorter the poem is, the less are the mistakes.

It's pretty good actually. Tells of how we shouldn't be as straight as a needle if we want to live our lives.

I like this piece. No matter the route we choose to pursue, obstacles will be waiting. How we overcome the trials is the our story, assuming we don't stand still from fear of conquering the hurdles. In order to reach and see the beauties of life we must take risks.

Well done!