Heavenly tranquil

Yet I feel
Paradise is where I am-wholly and truly
drifting and...and lingering,
in the graves of my sub-conscious
tormented by memories
dont want to move away nor retrace

I feel
Paradise shall be whence
I am at the unholy of places
yet at bliss
without thoughts of you
burning my sanity killing
wish to tear You away from me

once I thought
Paradise should be whence
I am with you ...
yet now I put that thought at bay
and cross my heart
that I might find me a paradise,
with you far far away

I'm not sure how this review thing works, but I'll just comment like I normally do on any other forums.

I think it's about a person struggling to forget someone or something that may have probably brought the person unhappiness. Maybe the person speaking only saw the good side of one thing until he/she noticed the consequences it has brought his life.

And now our speaker here wishes to "tear" him/her/it away from the life the speaker needs to fix.

Am I doing this thing right?

Hi I'm blackpencil, how are you doing?

First of all, starting your poem with "Yet I feel" isn't quite right. The word "yet" implies that you are continuing a sentence or story or whatever. The first stanza should be just "I feel", and then the second one "Yet I feel".

Since I'm already talking about the "I feel" bits, I like them, but you seem to develop a bit of a rhythm by using them at the beginning of the first two stanzas. You should have continued that and began the third stanza with "I feel" or "Still I feel" or something along those lines. This a short poem, though, so it doesn't matter that much.

Speaking of short poems, this one was good, but if you could have, you should have made it longer. Just one or two more stanzas, nothing major, but I feel that you could have a bigger story here.

All in all, it was a good poem. I don't know if deep is what you were going for, but that's what hit me. Just some other grammar errors which I'm not going to point out, and my other suggestions, and this poem would be improved. Well, it would to me, anyway.

I actually liked the starting with "Yet I feel", it gives it an interesting...feel. But yeah I like it, it's deep and could be interpreted in different ways, and those are my favorite kinds of poems. Keep it up.