The Smell of Time

Time smells like books, and dust and new shoes
Time smells like babies, elders and wood
Time smells like new house, velvet and glue
Time smells like leather and cotton and clothes
Time smells like grass and paper and skin
Time smells like snow and sea and sunshine

hmmmm interesting. I think for every sentence every thing that time smells like should have some connection. You sort of did it for most of the sentences.

Time smells like babies, elders and wood

instead of wood, you could have put something that related to babies and elders. Babies and elders relate because they are opposite to each other in the human life. Maybe you could have put something like cribs and caskets.

Over all a pretty meaningful poem. Time is everywhere and perhaps everything.

Yeah.Your poem is interesting.But i think it's still imperfect.
There are many points that i can raise but i fear that those will only
minimize my remaining time in the internet cafe. No one is perfect except for Jesus.
Don't be sad,just keep writing.Practice makes "near" perfect. Just keep trying.

What i can only advise to you is:
Next time,make longer poems-maybe composed of three to 10 stanzas.
Always remember to relate every word with every word.
And always practice.Never give up.

Yeah.Your poem is interesting.But i think it's still imperfect.
There are many points that i can raise but i fear that those will only
minimize my remaining time in the internet cafe. No one is perfect except for Jesus.
Don't be sad,just keep writing.Practice makes "near" perfect. Just keep trying.

What i can only advise to you is:
Next time,make longer poems-maybe composed of three to 10 stanzas.
Always remember to relate every word with every word.
And always practice.Never give up.

time it's self is an interesting thing. it's perception of time is different to all people. If this is a disortation of a poem talking of how time is percieved from many perspectives then by all means its amazing yet unpolished. if it was written in a hurry to get work up then please take your time and think it through. councel is best given when a piece is throughly thought out.