My Dream

I wrote this in 7th grade for a poetry project. I know it's not really good but it's supposed to be just a sweet little poem. Well I hope you like it!

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I hope your life is happy,
And skies are always blue.
I wish you strength and courage,
For when the world is cruel.
I hope you always smile,
Even when you feel dismay.
Cause you never know who loves it,
And how it makes their day.
I hope when you make decisions,
You do what’s best for you.
And this life God’s given you,
Becomes all you want it to.
I hope you learn from your mistakes,
And give more than you take.
And when life tries to knock you down,
That you will never break.
I hope when you think of memories,
That you always smile.
And if life happens to hand you a challenge,
That you go the extra mile.
I hope when someone does you wrong,
You know just what to do.
And if you need a helping hand,
That I’ll be there for you.
I know that life’s not easy,
And some hard times you’ll go through.
But in this dark and scary world,
Just know that I love you.

Nice! For a seventh grader that is pretty good.
It has a nice rhythm and I like the rhymes in it.

I hope you like my review,
because you are a part of the lucky few.

There is a little rhyme.

I like it! Its good. Keep up the good work. (:

Not bad at all! It is a sweet little poem, you've definitely achieved that. Very optimistic and with a good rhythm. I don't mean to sound a little dark but it sounds like a letter you give people after you die. hehe it'd be a touching poem for others to read when it's dedicated to them.

keep up the good work!

Thanks peeps!
And kaiden, I was thinking the same thing. I actually did write this for someone, though I'm pretty sure they'll never read it lol

That is very good! In seventh grade, I would have never wrote something like that:) That will be in my head all day now, Very nice.


And thanx for the comment on my Owl City lyric poetry!

Thank you and you're welcome! :)

This made me smile so much!
It's something that would be perfect for a greeting card.
It was so simple but so meaningful, great work.

Aw...this poem really spoke to me. The sweetness, and almost the tone of innocence shone through. It was simple, and there weren't any complications, and I don't question what you said in any of your lines or stanzas. The use of vocab was appropriate, and the ending was sound. =D Nicely done!

Awesome. I thought this had an excellent flow. Reading it through the eyes of seventh grader is refreshing,delightful,and genuine. Well done, I hope to read more current works of yours here.

Janay82 wrote:And if life happens to hand you a challenge,
That you go the extra mile.

good line, try this instead:

Janay82 wrote:And if life hands you a challenge,
You go the extra mile.

Ditto to the line that says "that you will always smile." Nix the that.
Besides those comments, great writing!
keep up the good work.
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