deleated

DeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleaDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleaDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleaDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleaDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleaDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleaDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleaDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleaDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleatedDeleated

watched them crawl[b]

[ b]saw them lose it all

I’m gonna stay standing tall

Your bolding seems to have gone a little wonky here.

I'm not a songwriter, so I can't really give you a critique, but I liked it. It had a nice rhythm and I noticed the rhymes only on the second readthrough. It flowed so nicely that it didn't scream "omigoodness, look at my fabulous rhymes" obnoxiously at me, but they were subtly there and added to the effect of the song. Nice.

*thumbs up*

~GryphonFledgling

heyalyrae wrote:they’ll pull me and tear me apart
point me in the wrong direction
change my reflection
then put me back to the start
they won’t listen to what I think or say
it doesn’t matter anyway

The above is really the only thing I saw as wonky in your whole song. The second and third line rhyming and the first and fourth line rhyming? I'd never heard of it. Though, of course, that may just be me . Other than that I loved it! Very original but also very personal. Interesting. I'll be thinking about it in my sleep tonight, I'll bet.