Lier Is A Simple Explanation

Lier Is A Simple Explanation

I stared, unbelievingly at Joseph. I stopped dancing with him. My hands fell to my sides. The music still played around us and people still danced. I looked up at the banner above my head that said Prom Night.
I closed my eyes. Tears began to swell up under my eyelids. “Why, Joseph? Why do you love me? Tell me the truth.”
I waited expectantly. Josephs voice entered my thoughts.
“I love you because you are beautiful.”
“Really?” I waited, keeping my eyes shut because I knew I would cry if I looked at Joseph. “Is that really the truth? I don't think it is.”
Silence. “It is the truth.”
I opened my eyes and looked angrily at Joseph. Tears fell down my face. He is a big, fat, lier!
“You are a lier! How can you expect me to love you if I know you lie to me?!”
How could he? How could he be so heartless! I wiped some of my tears away. Joseph watched me with a shocked expression. “How do you know?” he whispered, defeated.
“Because your ex-girlfriend told me so.” I replied in a razor tone that I saw Joseph flinch at. “I know because she told me what you did to her after you asked her to her house.”
Joseph lowered his head in shame. “I am so sorry.”
Lier. “No, you are not sorry. You love me because of my body right? Because of my breasts? Because of my sexiness!” I wailed, attracting weird looks from the people around me.
I slapped Joseph in the face, feeling peoples eyes on me. I don't care what they think. Joseph is a filthy, backstabbing lier and I hate him. My hand fell to my side as I stepped away from Joseph and into the girls bathroom. I stomped over to the last mirror and saw my face.
My eyeshadow had been completely washed away by my tears. When I had wiped my tears away, I had made my lipstick travel across my cheek. I look like a freak! I glanced down at my body. At the place where my breasts popped out of my dress. The way my hips looked while they are hugged by the tight blue fabric. I began to cry again. My eyes felt burning hot.
Suddenly, the door opened and Joseph walked in. he looked at the stalls with a shameful stare. He walked over to me and tried to put his arms around me. I slapped his hands away. He lowered them.
“Why do you refuse to want me, baby?” Joseph asked.
“Because I hate you.” I said in a mocking tone.
I do. I hate Joseph. I felt his body come closer to mine. I turned and yelled at him. “Get away from me! I hate you!”
My tears ceased. “Why?” Joseph asked me, sounding hurt although I knew he was a fake.
“Because...because I want someone to love me for who I am, not for what I look like.”
I walked out of the bathroom, grabbed my purse and headed home. All the while, tears streaming down my face.

I liked this piece. It was easy to relate to. I think most girls have had at least one guy like her only for what she looks like, and this portrays those feelings well. I want to know more about what happened. What made the ex girlfriend tell her? Was she mad because he wouldn't take her back? Was it because girls have to stick to together? Why did she choose to make a scene at the dance rather than telling him in private? It's a great start, and you have a lot to work with. I'd love to read more of this. PM me if you post more!
-youreit

I really like this story, good job. xD

I only really have one thing to say about this; the beginning of your story made no sense. She asks him why he loves her, and he says "because your beautiful" that to me sounds really shallow, he should list off the reasons he loves her, because being beautiful and having a good body are very similar. Say he loves her because she's witty, and nice, and fun to be around, because she's beautiful and sexy. Don't make him shallow when he's supposed to be kind and loving.

I really liked this piece of work, it was good fun to read.

This was really interesting. I love the detail and it seems, well to me, that you put a lot of thought into getting the piece started. Really, it was good. I have so many questions....um um, like who is this Joseph, besides a compulsive lier to get into some girls pants? Why did the ex say anything?

Haha many of my questions link back to what youreit said. So nice job, and can't wait for more! *adds Golden Star*

**Mo**

Please pm me when you have more

I agree that all girls can relate to this in someway. I think that you should explain why she's crying in the beginning. It didn't make a lot of sense because aren't people usually happy when someone tells them that they love them? So, make it a little clearer that she's crying because she thinks he's lying. I did like how you started this piece off. It made me want to keep reading.

I also like your description of your main character's dress and I think you should incorporate more descriptions like that into the story. Describe the room they're dancing in, describe the bathroom. What does the guy look like?

Also, I saw that you misspelled "liar" a lot. Instead of "lier" it's "liar".

Other than that, good work and I hope you continue it.

Sasha