And I Never Said I Wanted Honesty

And I never seemed to get that out of my mind.
How I used to see in words, but now I can only see in motion; I'm forced to watch the black and white videos of the past.


And I swore that I'd never think of it again.




The night last year when we had that Christmas party.
It's amazing how everyone told me how cold it was that night, but I never even noticed, because I was wrapped up in your arms and had my head pressed protectively up against your chest.
I always loved how your whole body would softly shake with your chiming laughter.



Or how you'd gently kiss my head and tell me we'd one day make it out of that small town. But I guess that's all gone now.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




And I knelt down on the muddy soil and let the breeze simply blow away my tears, wishing it was you kissing them away.


I had brought a plastic bag and a new bouquet of specially dyed royal blue roses to match the color that used to be your eyes.
I gathered up all of the wilted leaves and petals and disposed of them in a nearby trashcan. I came everyday and brought you the flowers each time. All of the family was beginning to talk of me by then. They started to say I was being overly obsessed and
such, but honestly, how was I supposed to act completely normal? You were my soul, baby.

And I keep wishing that the day will end, and I will wake to find you beside me again, your arm wrapped around my waist and my face buried in your neck.
I want to see the morning sun lighting up your eyes and the sea's breeze softly rocking the delicate scarlet petals that line every inch of our white satin sheets.
Most of all, I want to feel your warm, rhythmatic breathing on my eyelids as you sing to me of cliche love poems and pretend dreams of the future.




I don't want honesty. I don't want reality. I want my life back

This seems really powerful, but it doesn't seem like there's enough detail. I think you were trying to be intentionally ambiguous, but that some of the meaning was lost because of it. For example, who are these people, how long were they together, and how did he die, which I think he did?
Try to elaborate a bit, and if you don't want to, then you're clearly just writing in a style that's not for me. Good luck and keep up the good work.

Hi there! I'm OxfordandOnyx and I just thought I'd drop a review!

First off, I don't like the opening line at all, just drop the 'and', I know you were trying to tie it in with the title of your story but you haven't pulled it off. When I read it, I feel as though I'm missing part of the conversation.

I have to agree that there is not enough detail for the reader to fully get involved, I don't get absorbed by what your character is telling me. I also don't know anything about him/her, that needs to be changed- how about adding a bit of background information? Thoughts and opinions? You have created a bland character here and I quickly lost interest in everything they were telling me.

I do like the soft language you used, it nice and flowed with the style of the text!

You should include more information about the lover of the main character. What did you main character particularly love about the person he/she has lost?

The last line I don't understand, I think you were trying to convey some sort of message to us but I'm lost. There is almost too much ambiguity!

I did love the fact it sounds quite poetic, it's a nice touch!

Good luck, keep on writing

OxfordandOnyx

Oh so sad! I agree with Night Owl, there is 't enough detail. But it's sad, why do love stories have to be so sad? It's good don't get me wrong, it was delightful. But I wonder, how will she survive, does she meet someone else? Post some more please, I want to know does she make it?

It's good, I like the style of writing, but like already mentioned the character's seem distant, I don't know anything about either of them. It has a nice poetic feel, and the soft words are calming and have great influence, but the character's have no history. The last line is confusing, maybe changing the order of words would help.
I think you should expand it-I really like it (so far, I hope there's more).

Hi there!

The beginning of your piece is a little confusing because I'm not sure if it is past tense, or present tense. Obviously your character is thinking back on something, so that would be past tense.

And I never seemed to get that out of my mind.

"Don't start a sentence on 'and'" is one of those rules that can (and often is) broken. I feel that you shouldn't start the story on 'and' because that gives the reader a sense of missing out on something that happened before that. Unless you want that effect!

You repetition of "And I..." at the beginning of your sentences is quite effective because you get the feeling that these are thoughts being poured out, as opposed to trickling out.

And I knelt down on the muddy soil and let the breeze simply blow away my tears, wishing it was you kissing them away.

I wouldn't start this sentence on 'and' because you've just done the ~~~~~~ lines to indicate a break in the story.

The story seems quite abstract. I'd add a few more details about what happened between the couple and add a bit more length to the story.

You write well and there were no mistakes in spelling. (unless I missed something!)

Oh, and remember to add a full stop to the very last sentence.

I want my life back.

Keep it up!

Wow, this was really touching. I really felt exactly what emotions the narrator was feeling while I was reading it, so kudos for that.
I thought the whole thing was very nicely written, but I really love the line "I want to see the morning sun lighting up your eyes and the sea's breeze softly rocking the delicate scarlet petals that line every inch of our white satin sheets." Very descriptive yet simple, and it provides a great visual.
The only thing I would change is to take out the word "baby" in "You were my soul, baby." It doesn't seem to fit somehow with the rest of the piece, and it made that line go from touching to sounding like something a sleazy ex-boyfriend from a film noir would say.
Other than that, this was very nice. I'm looking forward to reading more of your work!