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The Dream Snatcher

Skittles · 2009-09-21T20:49:28Z

Okay I revised and edited so it should be okay now. You all can still critique if you like though... :mrgreen: The Dream Snatcher~ The sky is no longer a light blue anymore, no longer filled with the childish animal clouds. The sun has been long gone, not waiting for me to put my pajamas on. I slide into my covers as my parents lean down to place an affectionate peck on each cheek. “Good night Sandy,” they say, while turning my lights off. Straight away I’m plunged into an infinite darkness. I look up at my dream catcher and stare. I hope that my dreams from the previous night will creep back as that imaginative movie that flows across my eyes. Instead I am stuck with the large green monster peeking at me from inside my closet. I cannot breathe anymore. The fear is putting a clamp down on my lungs. “Mama,” I croak softly. I can barely hear myself. I close my eyes and think of things I like. Ice cream, hot air balloons, puppies, and colorful things. But they are all consumed by that large green monster that peeks at me from inside the closet. So I open my eyes and look out my window. A spindly arm of a tree branch is scratching at my windowsill. My eyes are frozen on this wicked sight. “One…two…three…” I begin counting sheep as best as I can. But that large green monster is still peeking at me through the closet. I glance up at my dream catcher that shifts slightly in the wind of the revolving fan. The cold makes my eyes shut slowly, but they quickly open again. The spindly arm want’s to be let in my room. “No,” I utter quietly. The horrifying scratching sound stops. I am charged with energy. I have power now. I am no longer afraid. I could beat these monsters of the night. As I sit up in bed I feel dizzy. I’m cast into a warp of moving figures climbing in through my window. The shadows are hiking up my walls and are trying to intimidate me. They stretch taller and taller until they are spinning around on my revolving fan. They are trying to take my dream catcher down. I get up and fight them. I throw my stuffed bear at the ceiling but they take advantage of the fan and throw my teddy bear to the ground. I then toss up my unicorn and it lands on the wooden floor in a sinuous heap with a soft thud. My stuffed dog is next. It gets caught in the fan blade and it stops. Now the shadows have no weapon. But I am far from victorious. The large green monster has its long arms wrapped around the closet door. It’s opening it and is now hanging in mid-air. I stand my ground, holding my dream catcher. The large green monster isn’t so big anymore. Its long arms shrink and it remains hanging in midair. “I am not afraid of you,” I declare. It drops to the floor and the lights turn on. As I stand triumphantly at the edge of my bed my parents walk in. “Sandy, what are you doing?” my mother asks. I quickly stumble down from my bed and rush into my mother’s open arms. I give her a warm hug as she wraps her arms around me. “I won Mama. I beat the monster,” I say. I point over at my closet. She is baffled at my victory. “Sandy I thought you told Nana that you were going to wear this tomorrow.” She said walking over to the green heap. “Why is it in a pile on the floor?” she picks up the enemy. “But it was giving me nightmares,” I said. I looked down at my dream catcher and frowned. I quickly handed it to my mama and went over to my bed. “Sandy, don’t you want this anymore?” my mama said, turning it over in her hands. Shake my head vigorously, no. “Dream catchers catch your dreams and they don’t give them back,”

Alexwriter

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Points 1040

Reviews 26

Wed Apr 27, 2011 4:15 am

Alexwriter says... · Wed Apr 27, 2011 4:15 am

This was very well written and other than grammatical errors (which have already been pointed out) I couldn't find much fault with it. I would have liked a bit more description but that's something I need to work on, too. This story really captured a child's innocence and the power of imagination. I loved the last line it was absolutely brilliant and you definitely have talent and a wonderful writing voice.

I reject your reality and substitute my own

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Half goat, half fish, all goatfish.
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The Dream Snatcher

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