The Verge

Write
Think of something
Use your imagination
Sweet imagination
Creating those sparkling seas like diamonds
Bordering a forest of mystics
Fairies flying with fiery colors
Fluorescent flowers guiding midnight paths
Goblins and dragons— the only taint of evil
An unplanned voyage over land and through time to defeat them
Smell death, touch eternity
Sweet imagination

But what’s to it but words and pages
the dragons they will never be anything but black ink
The things we create in our mind— so close
Like the ever intensive plot sowing in hope of impossible things
And reality only tears away the stitches

A slow torture it is— writing
And the burning curse of imagination
It internalizes hopes; you resort to living in your head
You search for other mental adventurers,
yet you know they have grown a shell as hard as your own
Urges to break free and do as you wish,
But the world’s ignorance to the boundaries of your mind, bind you

So “hold on to your imagination, you’ll lose it when you’re older”
But is it such a terror to lose my sweet imagination
If it fades so will the constant discontentment with commonness,
so will the pain that eludes the tip of my pen,
oozing into my head
like a seeping sugar that creates a hunger that will never be satisfied

Can you taste the serum?
Can you feel the dripping desire burn your throat to the pit of your stomach?
I feel it— but you learn to live with it.
For the mind’s eye, as all vision, shall fade.
However it has taken so much of me,
the absorbed sweetness simply cannot be extracted from me—
without taking all that it has affected

As it is sucked from body by unbiased age,
it is replaced with thoughts of heaven
how sweet the stars must be
Candied medicine bottles and chocolate guns
let me taste.
Something must take the place of that torturous yet entertaining longing.
Take me to the cotton candy clouds; let me taste the Red Hot sun.
Take me to my escaping imagination that fleets to immortal lands
Take me, sweet imagination, to a place where you are my God

I cling to nowhere ’til I fall – the crash of Nothing… –Emily Dickinson

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**comment if you've felt any of this as a writer.**

Hello there! It's Roon again. You have such a talent for poetry, really you do, this is wonderful.
As usual, though, I will start with nitpicks:

Write << I think you need a comma here.
Think of something << Comma
Use your imagination << Comma
Sweet imagination << Full stop.
Creating those sparkling seas like diamonds << comma before like and after diamonds.
Bordering a forest of mystics << Full stop. I'm going to stop with the punctuation corrections, as they go all the way through the poem. I don't know whether this is purposeful, but if it isn't then you should think of it as a normal paragraph, as I said in your other poem. If you are leaving out punctuation to show confusion, I don't think it works in this instance, as it is about a writer.
Fairies flying with fiery colors
Fluorescent flowers guiding midnight paths
Goblins and dragons— the only taint of evil
An unplanned voyage over land and through time to defeat them
Smell death, touch eternity
Sweet imagination

But what’s to it but words and pages << I said I wouldn't, but question mark here.
the dragons they will never be anything but black ink
The things we create in our mind— so close << Do you mean they are so close?
Like the ever intensive plot sowing in hope of impossible things << the hope
And reality only tears away the stitches

A slow torture it is— writing
And the burning curse of imagination
It internalizes hopes; you resort to living in your head
You search for other mental adventurers,
yet you know they have grown a shell as hard as your own
Urges to break free and do as you wish, << I'm not sure about this line and it's meaning. I think it's because if she was speaking she would say I urge to break free and do as I wish. But if that's not what you mean, then I'm stuck. PoV is a confusing thing at times.
But the world’s ignorance to the boundaries of your mind, bind you << I personally think that boundaries and bind sound oo similar here, but it's not too obvious as so it would ruin the line, so leave it if you can't think of something else, it still works.

So “hold on to your imagination, you’ll lose it when you’re older”
But is it such a terror to lose my sweet imagination << It think you mean this as a question.
If it fades so will the constant discontentment with commonness,
so will the pain that eludes the tip of my pen, << love this line and the one before it. Fantastic.
oozing into my head
like a seeping sugar that creates a hunger that will never be satisfied

Can you taste the serum?
Can you feel the dripping desire burn your throat to the pit of your stomach? << It's either a throat or a stomach, not both, choose one, or say that it works its way down to the stomach somehow.
I feel it— but you learn to live with it. << I think the latter part of this line seems a little weak.
For the mind’s eye, as all vision, shall fade.
However it has taken so much of me,
the absorbed sweetness simply cannot be extracted from me— << you say 'me' at the end of the last line too, I think you should change one of them.
without taking all that it has affected

As it is sucked from body by unbiased age,
it is replaced with thoughts of heaven
how sweet the stars must be
Candied medicine bottles and chocolate guns << Are you using the idea that they are sweets as euphemisms? If not, then I don't understand how this line is a grown up view. If the former then it's very clever, if the latter you were clever by accident! lol, I think it's the former though.
let me taste.
Something must take the place of that torturous yet entertaining longing.
Take me to the cotton candy clouds; let me taste the Red Hot sun.
Take me to my escaping imagination that fleets to immortal lands
Take me, sweet imagination, to a place where you are my God << I think this is a little too fanciful in comparison with the rest of the poem.

Okay, so I really love the emotion behind this, and I'm sure that we can relate in some way. The punctuation, if left out on purpose, doesn't work. You should have it all punctuated, there are spots of it, and it just feels like you've forgotten to put it in. If you're a writer talking about the terrible power that words and writing can have, you would make the most of punctuation.

I think there is lots of imagery in the beginning, but it sort of fades out towards the end. I do think that you could have a central image in this poem somehow, but I don't see how you could incorporate one now it's written. Saying that, however, I think it works very well without one, so maybe a thought for another poem. I think you should keep the imagery going through the poem, show us your world that can't merge with the real one.

I don't know whether I like the line So “hold on to your imagination, you’ll lose it when you’re older” it just doesn't feel as poetic as the rest of the poem, not as well written, I think you can do better. The rest of your work is so incredible, so even a slight slip is noticeable.

I think the ending is a little weak. You should either have a complete resolution of the inner conflict, or still have it completely there. I think at the moment the voice realises that she has a love/hate relationship with his/her imagination, but we don't see whether she truly accepts that she needs it. So, other than the ending and the punctuation, I loved it. Your conflict is presented really well, your emotion comes over brilliantly. You have such a wonderful poetic style, keep writing, and thank you ever so much for the reviews!

~ Roon

Thank you roon for the excellent review. I have gotten mixed thoughts on this in the past as well. I love the idea of the piece but I want everything to come off clearly and I have a hard time harnessing the natural abstractness of my work. In my head it all connects perfectly but of course my audience can't know everything in my own mind.
On the minor grammar note. I suppose I completely forgot it really. Grammar, I'll say is not a talent of mine. But I will take a look at that aspect.
But back tot he poem. I'm so glad that you got the point of it as being the mixed relationship between one and their imagination/writing.
The current stanzas are very important to the piece and how it all connects.
1. The first stanza is purely reminiscing on imagination itself, nothing else.
2. Second stanza is about how imagination ultimately is fruitless in that if you base your hopes on it as in would like to see in real life fairies and do magic its impossible which is why imagination can be so frustrating.
3. The third stanzas continues with this frustration and tells how the narrator would meet other 'mental adventurers' imagination dwellers but it is nearly impossible to find others with similar fantasies of such things the narrator creates
4. The narrator wants to get of imagination all together for the troubles it has caused, but then goes back into how addicting it is. How your imagination can give you a taste of well imagined things and as much as you begin to want them, in the end they are all in your head. Your desires wind up all in your head. Impossible to reach. Thus leaving narrator unsatisfied.
5. Serum = the desire for impossible things and the longing for them. The feeling of longing is described. Also mind's eye = imagination. I related this to actual vision and that it fades naturally as will imagination but its taking of all it has affected is all the passion that was put into seeking these imagined things is now fading.
6. And without the desire for something strived for so long goes with it the desire to live as in suicide because heaven is the closest generally tangible thing that can be reached through death. "Candied medicine bottles, chocolate guns/ let me taste" = suicide. Because death is believed to take away all the desire. As if imagination and the desire it creates is a drug. And last line, if your imagination is your God then all the torturous thoughts don't have to be thoughts don't have to be only thoughts anymore, they become real, making up your entire world.
Quote - I related these because thoughts are really nothing if ALL they are, are thoughts. So if you fall because of just thoughts it is the crash of nothing.

Well the only reason I just wrote all that out is because that's what I want people to get out of it, but it still be poetic, which you can imagine is not the simplest task. But I shall keep working. I think that if you read the explanation and then reread the poem it will fill in all the blanks and misconceptions you may have had.

And after all that I'd like to thank you once again for the review and enjoy doing business with you. And will check out more of your works!!