A letter I'll never post...

Do you know what my favorite memory of you is?
Not that time when we sat together…or when we laughed, and shared secrets…not the time we became friends. It is the day you sat across from me in class. You were staring cluelessly ahead and I was staring dreaming at you. Well, not exactly at you. But into your eyes…right into those chocolate brown eyes. It wasn’t a deep ocean blue colour like I’ve always fantasized. It was just brown…dark brown.
That day, when I gazed into your eyes, I felt…different. All of a sudden, I felt brave. I didn’t instantly look away after a quick, beautiful glimpse. It was as if I wasn’t even afraid anymore-not afraid that you would catch me staring at you and think I am a freak. Not afraid that someone else might catch me staring at you and spread the word. For me, life had paused. Time had stopped. And the world was pushed to the background. I didn’t feel anything at all-absolutely nothing. Just quietness. And all that flashed in front of me were those sparkling, liquid eyes. This sounds like it just came out of a romance novel. But maybe it did. Maybe that’s what our love is…a novel. Where else do they make such perfect eyes?
If I have to exactly describe the moment, I’d say it was like…doing yoga. Only, this came more easily. I’d heard people say that eyes are the windows to one’s soul. Now I knew why. If I say that I felt I could see in his soul, if I say all his imperfections were fading away, if I say that I was now certain I loved you, it would sound too clichéd. But then again, no one said a cliché isn’t true.
Of course, I cherish the other times we spent-like that time you said you loved me…or the day you asked me out…or every morning when I see you. But you know what made this ‘moment’ so special? It was the fact that there wasn’t any adrenaline rushing through my body. I wasn’t conscious about myself. God, I didn’t even blush! I just felt…calm, safe, alive. All in one moment. Never ever in my life have ten seconds seemed so long.
And here as I am writing this, the memory is still fresh in my mind. Just as fresh as the taste of dinner I had an hour ago. And I know whatever comes and goes, this moment is something that will always stay with me, in me.
Because I know you will always stay with me.
And every time I want to relive the memory, all I have to do is look into your beautiful, brown eyes.

Overall, I thought this was well-written. The emotions come through strongly without being too cliched. However, there's some confusing points that need to be cleared up.

It wasn’t a deep ocean blue colour like I’ve always fantasized. It was just brown…dark brown.

Um...the letter makes it sound like she's stared at him before...wouldn't she know what colors his eyes are by now (rather than fantasizing about what they might be)? Or do you mean she's fantasized that her "perfect guy" has blue eyes but now sees that isn't the case? Clarify this, because it's kind of weird.

f I say that I felt I could see in his soul, if I say all his imperfections were fading away, if I say that I was now certain I loved you

What's with the sudden switch to third person? She's still talking to "you" (the guy the narrator's checking out), right? If she is, and there's no other guy involved, keep it second-person.

Of course, I cherish the other times we spent-like that time you said you loved me…or the day you asked me out…or every morning when I see you.

Wow, this really threw me off. Up to this point, I'd assumed this was unrequited love, a friend who wants to be more. Now it sounds like they're together now. Which is awesome (who doesn't love a happy ending?) but it makes the title seem out of place. Why wouldn't the narrator give this to her beau now that they've professed their love for each other and such? Maybe that's a whole different story, of which this letter is only a part...Okay I'm getting ahead of myself here. Basically, explain the state of the relationship as of the time she writes this letter. If you could clarify why exactly this letter needs to remain a secret, that would be even better.

all I have to do is look into your beautiful, brown eyes.

Loved this last line, but the comma doesn't need to be there. Just a little nit-pick.

Overall, I really enjoyed this, especially the second paragraph. Once you clear up some of the details, it should be even better. Great job!

This was a very enjoyable piece. You could feel the emotional connection between you and your writing. I don't have too much to critique on beings that the previous critic already said most of it, but this part is the only sentence that stuck out that needed to be corrected:

"But maybe it did."

That's a fragment. Take out the but and all will be well

Good job!
<3 Sara.

Um...the letter makes it sound like she's stared at him before...wouldn't she know what colors his eyes are by now (rather than fantasizing about what they might be)? Or do you mean she's fantasized that her "perfect guy" has blue eyes but now sees that isn't the case? Clarify this, because it's kind of weird.

The case is the latter. She's always dreamed of her perfect guy having blue eyes.

What's with the sudden switch to third person? She's still talking to "you" (the guy the narrator's checking out), right? If she is, and there's no other guy involved, keep it second-person.

That's my bad. Thanks

Wow, this really threw me off. Up to this point, I'd assumed this was unrequited love, a friend who wants to be more. Now it sounds like they're together now. Which is awesome (who doesn't love a happy ending?) but it makes the title seem out of place. Why wouldn't the narrator give this to her beau now that they've professed their love for each other and such? Maybe that's a whole different story, of which this letter is only a part...Okay I'm getting ahead of myself here. Basically, explain the state of the relationship as of the time she writes this letter. If you could clarify why exactly this letter needs to remain a secret, that would be even better.

Well, the relationship status is sorta complicated. It's like, even though they ARE a couple, she's still a bit closed. It's, like, she's not able to express herself to her boyfriend very freely because it makes her nervous every time he's around. And she's still extremely shy, so she won't post the letter.

Both of you, thanks for checking it out, anyway! Reviews are always welcome

Well, thanks for clearing that up. Now I'd suggest editing the piece itself to make these things more clear. The piece should be able to stand on its own without the author explaining it. You did do a good job, though. Keep writing.

This is quite a good piece of writing. It was short, sweet and to the point. Other than a few nitpicks pointed out earlier by other reviewers, I would say don't change anything else. This piece has authenticity. It reeks of undisclosed emotions and deep dark secrets. I can see why the girl would not want to show the letter to the boy even though they are together.

I cannot comment on plot and character here because it's too short and too vague. But still this is very well written. And I have no further complaints xD