Escaping Love PG-13

She always needed a fight
We were never right
So there I sat in the endless night
Reminesing on my needless plight.

The love was destructive,total,
True, obsessive,passionate,blind.
Most of all unrequitted.
Compatible personalities wern't our speciality
We were elemental fire and water
spitting, steaming and sizzling
with the hateful love of our very seperate unity.
Her opinion dominated, mine was of little consequence
it brewed an acid in my chest until it had to explode;
We broke.
Was it freedom or a fall from height?

Even now, we see each other.
we talk, we laugh, we work.
I will never forget, as I have been advised,
the way it felt inside; to be broken then thrown aside.
It makes it hard to sustain anything platonic.
I try, I try, I try.
But she for some reason, will not meet to look in my eye.
For what reason? I shall not question,
its not worth the beasting, the sqaubble, the fight
when i can just sit here and beleive that it's me who is, completely and utterly

Hello, Roon here! Another wonderful poem! Nitpicks first though!

She always needed a fight
We were never right
So there I sat in the endless night
Reminesing on my needless plight. <<Reminiscing also, the rhyme is a little forced.

The love was destructive,total, << space between destructive, total
True, obsessive,passionate,blind. << spaces between obsessive, passionate, blind.
Most of all unrequitted. << unrequited
Compatible personalities wern't our speciality << weren’t
We were elemental fire and water
spitting, steaming and sizzling
with the hateful love of our very seperate unity. << separate
Her opinion dominated, mine was of little consequence << latter is unneeded, you already said the same thing in the former.
it brewed an acid in my chest until it had to explode;
We broke.
Was it freedom or a fall from height? << I like this, very poignant.

Even now, we see each other.
we talk, we laugh, we work.
I will never forget, as I have been advised,
the way it felt inside; to be broken then thrown aside.
It makes it hard to sustain anything platonic. << it feels like you just used this for the sake of it.
I try, I try, I try.
But she for some reason, will not meet to look in my eye.
For what reason? I shall not question,
its not worth the beasting, the sqaubble, the fight << beasting isn’t a word, squabble.
when i can just sit here and beleive that it's me who is, completely and utterly << I* and believe, also did you mean to leave the word 'right' off? I think you would do well to put it in.

Overall:

The rhyme is a little forced in places, there is no set rhythm and you made up a word!

Other than that, your emotion is clear, the whole thing is very well-written.

Your inspiration is clear, we feel what you did, you tell a heartfelt tale, that I am sure we can all relate to, or at least imagine, due to your powerful use of language.

I would suggest using more imagery, though, I feel it would help us live your story better.

Your writing style is bold, and unique. You take a somewhat clichéd idea, and make it new, your own, very well done!

Thank you for posting, keep writing, this is wonderful. If you ever need another review, please let me know.

Also, you may want to try to split up the stanzas, as you can’t see the breaks at the moment.

~ Roon

Unlike most people, I actually prefer free verse, especially when it's on such a complicated topic: love.

I like the introduction. It makes me want to keep reading, to find out why "we were never right". And as I read, you answer those questions. No blanks, no secrets. I love the descriptions you used as well. Thorough, blunt, explicit. It was awesome.

I have to disagree with you, Roon, however. Being in AP English 12, a course on poetry, I have to defend our young poet here. Poems do not have to be grammatically and structurally correct. Sometimes, being incorrect gets the point across more clearly, because it makes you focus on that particular part more than you normally would. And not all poems rhyme. Think about your favorite song; before they put it music, it's a poem, but does it always rhyme? No. Therefore, to not be hypocritical, poems don't have to rhyme either. (A perfect example is a haiku, with rhyme scheme a-b-c.)

Keep up the good work, Adam. I'll be looking for more to critique and explicate!