Please, read this and critique and tell me what I need to improve on. Don't be afraid to be cruel. I need all the advice I can get!
Happy (I hope) Reading!
_______________________________________
One: Audrey
As the last table was wiped clean, I felt a sense of relief and accomplishment pass over me. My hands were red and callused, my back aching from a full day bent over busing tables, but I was still here and the pocket of tips jangling in my pocket kept me moving forward.
“Hey miss! We need another round of drinks over here,” a group of rowdy college students shouted over the thrum of music from the stage.
“I’ll go get your waitress,” I murmured, keeping my head down. The group burst into loud laughter but I ignored them, exiting into the kitchen. “Rachel, your table is demanding alcohol,” I told the main server dryly, emptying my pocket of tips into a glass jar that I hid in my coat pocket.
“Again?” She shook her head and ran her fingers through her thin, stringy hair. “Audrey, can you help out a bit? I have to get this money counted from dinner before the night rush.”
I hesitated, not wanting to serve a table full of college kids that were no doubt part of my class. Plus, I was underage and technically wasn’t allowed to serve alcohol. I didn’t have a choice, however, by the severe look Rachel shot me. The expression basically said that I could either keep my job by waiting the table or be sent home empty handed. I didn’t need to be a rocket scientist to know what I had to do.
“What can I get you all?” I asked the guys a few moments later, notebook in hand.
“Another round of Budweiser Select, hon.” The guy who spoke was older than the rest, maybe around twenty-three. The others looked only a little older than me, no doubt underage and getting one of their older brothers to buy them beer.
“Yeah, and make it snappy,” one of the younger men slurred, making a grab for the front of my apron. I ignored him, swiftly stepping out of his line of reach, used to the advances by now.
“Alright, I should be back with them shortly.” I forced a sugary smile, producing a wink from the older one, before I departed.
“Idiotic drunks. How many times will they have to wake up, hungover and vomiting, before they get it?” I growled, slamming the notebook on the counter.
The cook, Johnny D, chuckled at my outburst. “Sweetheart, they’ll never learn.”
I rolled my eyes, knowing it was true, while I gathered up the drinks for them. Katie, newer than I was, helped me out with them. They all downed them without a further look our way, and Katie wrinkled her nose in disgust. I pulled her away from them before they noticed her and led her back to the kitchen.
“Are the guys always like that here?”
I nodded. “You’ll get used to it.”
She looked at me like she highly doubted that.
<<>>
Kim & Joe’s closed at midnight, leaving only me and Rachel behind to lock up. “You did well tonight, Audrey. Only two months in and you’re already better than most of our waitresses, and get twice as many tips.”
I shrugged, uncomfortable with the compliment. “Just doing my job, Rach. I’ll see ya on Monday?”
“Sure thing. Drive safe.”
I nodded that I heard her before slinking off into the street beyond. It was colder, winter already setting in though it was only mid-October. I pulled my military-style coat closer to my frame, hoping to block out the early morning chill as I carefully navigated the streets to my car parked in the back alley of the restaurant. My navy blue Pontiac was the only car in the parking lot and I made sure it was safe before unlocking the door and getting inside.
I saw my phone light up from within my purse and, pulling it out, I saw that Natalie had tried to call me three times that night. Frowning, I went to press re-dial but stopped. It was almost one in the morning and Natalie was probably asleep. If she needed to contact me that bad, she would have called my work phone.
Pushing the thought of an emergency aside, I started the car and put it into drive. Easing onto the main street, I saw Rachel getting into her black beater. I honked my horn and she waved before disappearing inside. But not before I saw the glint of sunglasses and then the distinct backside of her boyfriend Jay. I wanted to stop. I wanted to pull him away from her. I wanted to shake some sense into her.
In my rearview mirror, I saw him grab her by the upper arms and pull her close to his face, his mouth wide, preparing to yell. I pressed on my brakes and nearly got out. But then, my better judgment got me moving again and before long, they were out of sight and I was on my way home.
Asheville was eerily quiet as I drove through the winding streets, the glow from the city slowly dimming and then dying completely, my headlights becoming the only source of light for miles. I turned my music on higher, drowning out the thick silence around me. I lost myself in the southern twang and acoustic guitars of my favorite country station.
Before long, I was pulling into the parking lot of my apartment complex. All the windows were dark and I practically tiptoed through the building, sliding into my room feeling like a burglar. Snoring echoed from the open bedroom across from my own and I smiled. I was right. Natalie was asleep.
I thoughtlessly tossed my keys onto the counter and they rang out like a gunshot through the apartment but Natalie slept like a rock and I had little fear of waking her. Closing the bedroom door behind me, I flicked on the light and changed into a pair of worn sweats and a baggy tee. Before turning in for the night, I plugged my phone in to charge and saw that Natalie had texted me too while I was working. Opening the text, I felt my knees nearly give out from under me.
For the longest time, I sat staring at the message, feeling as though my very eyes were betraying me. How could this have happened? How could he be back?
But there it was, plain as day, the message across my phone’s screen:
Hey Audrey. I know you’re at work but I thought that
you should know this. Carly just called me and said
she… well, she saw Dante Giovanni in the little café
in Bryson. I hope this doesn’t upset you too much.
See you after work.
Was I reading this right? Was he really back? No… he couldn’t be. He had been sent away for good. There was no coming back from that place. There couldn’t.
Before I could change my mind, I walked from my room into Natalie’s and sat on the edge of her bed. For the longest time, I stared at the opposite wall, revisiting so many memories that for a while, I forgot where I was.
Then I felt Natalie stir and her eyes glowed in the soft light filtering into her room.
“You got the text, didn’t you?”
