Facebook Mania!

This would have been far easier
Had I started it on time.
Now I have to get this done
And think of things that rhyme.
My summer has been busy,
But that is no excuse.
I should have logged off Facebook
And put my time to better use.

Facebook is a temptation
That I barely can resist.
“You’re on-line again!”
My mother scolds
“You really must desist!”
Ignoring her, I stay on-line
And haven’t logged off since
Besides, I must converse about
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

Taking quizzes, poking friends,
Talking to him or her
Changing my status constantly
Reality is all a blur.
Photos, Flairs, Super-Flairs
And Bumper Stickers galore
I’ve been a member for only two months
And already, I’m hardcore!

IM’ing with my cousin
Can get rather annoying
But after hours of random words
I find it’s quite enjoying
Tagging friends in pictures
For hours can make you stressed
But tagging things like grass and hair
Is when you’re truly obsessed

Finding people you once knew
Who moved so far away
They may not be here now
But on your computer, they’re here to stay
Virtual birthday cards can be quite fun;
They take two seconds to make
If that’s not something you like to do
You can send a virtual cake!

Now my mom is hooked on Facebook
Thanks to me, of course!
She’s online as much as I am
And I feel no remorse

Facebook can be addicting
I can tell you that it’s true
The trouble is that there are always
Many things to do!

My mom constantly tells me to stop
I often put up a fight
Wait a minute, isn’t there a poem
That I’m supposed to write?

Hello! I can definitely relate to this, there are grammar errors, but it's not a serious poem I suspect! I will list them anyways, but it won't rhyme if you change them in some areas!

Okay first:

I find it’s quite enjoying

Should be enjoyable

Second:

Facebook can be addicting

Should be addictive

Now onto flow:

Reality is all a blur.

I think this would flow better without the all, just my personal opinion.

There is next to no grammar, but hey, all this I can forgive and ignore, because I smiled as I read it, very funny, very enjoyable, I love light-hearted poems every now and again.

Thank you so much for this, I really enjoyed reading it, and I hope you enjoyed writing it. I think most people can relate, we are slaves to technology these days!

~ Roon

Hey, I can totally relate to this. I think your poem is REALLY cute. :D
Even though I am more of a Myspace person myself. haha.
anyway. I agree with the person before me you did have very few errors. but if you fixed them like they told you to, your rhyme scheme would be all wrong. So you should keep it like that because poetry doesn't have to be completely grammatically correct all the time.
Anyway, very good job. I'd love to read another one of your poems!

Hey Fantasy ^^ Shina here for a review

This would have been far easier
Had I started it on time.
Now I have to get this done
And think of things that rhyme.
My summer has been busy,
But that is no excuse.
I should have logged off Facebook
And put my time to better use.

xD I understand what you're saying, Fantasy. After reading the first line, I honestly thought it would be boring anc cliche, but after reading the last line, I understood ^^

The rhyme scheme doesn't seem to eat up the poem here. Let's see about the other stanzas...

Facebook is a temptation
That I barely can resist.
“You’re on-line again!”

Leave it as "online." We get the beat

My mother scolds
“You really must desist!”
Ignoring her, I stay on-line

*Online

And haven’t logged off since
Besides, I must converse about
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

xD That fits in here perfectly. Good timing for when you wrote this poem.

Taking quizzes, poking friends,
Talking to him or her
Changing my status constantly
Reality is all a blur.

I feel it would sound better with another syllable somewhere:
"Taking quizzes, poking friends,
Talking to him or her;
After changing my status constantly
Reality becomes a blur."

IM’ing with my cousin
Can get rather annoying

Instead of "rather", maybe "a bit"?

But after hours of random words
I find it’s quite enjoying
Tagging friends in pictures
For hours can make you stressed
But tagging things like grass and hair
Is when you’re truly obsessed

I feel the last line needs some rewording:
"But tagging things like grass and hair
Is when you know that you're obsessed."

Now my mom is hooked on Facebook
Thanks to me, of course!
She’s online as much as I am
And I feel no remorse

Last line needs some more syllables:
"And I no longer feel remorse."

Facebook can be addicting
I can tell you that it’s true
The trouble is that there are always
Many things to do!

Last line needs another syllable. Perhaps adding "too" to the beginning.

My mom constantly tells me to stop
I often put up a fight

I think adding "and" in front of the second line would fix it.

Wait a minute, isn’t there a poem
That I’m supposed to write?

xD Hilarious ending. Rants like these can be either good or bad, but I liked this one. Reminds me of Ode to Google. Rhyme scheme didn't eat it up and it was catchy.

-Shina

yeah that didn't relate to me at all

but i liked it, totally true of our generation.
and funnily enough people have tagged hair on some of my facebook photos.

funny, made me laugh:)

X

thanks! i had to write this at the last minute because i had to submit it for 4-H. facebook was part of the reason i wasn't finished with my project when i should have been, so i decided to write a poem about it! thanks for all the compliments and suggestions!

I agree the stupid facebook is so adictive. My mum had to sendme holiday to get me off it!

But whatever. This was really good, and I could really relate to it, also it is an interesting topic to write about

keep writing