The Lost

If you're confused about the beginning, I totally understand xD I was watching Alice in Wonderland
and something sprouted. Once again, a thirty-second poem, so bear with me Enjoy...


Invite me to the party,
Call me to the feast.
I’ve been watching you for ages
From here behind the trees.

Do you not remember?
Nor the days when we were close?
Memories were made,
Were they vanished or misplaced?



The humans in the shadows…
Well, we have feelings, you know?
Perhaps the world is madness for us,
Ever consider that?

Locked out and abandoned
From the lives that we once knew.
All we want is acceptance,
And that I ask of you.

I can see the laughter,
But do you see the tears?
Are you too blind to see?
Being remembered is a fantasy,
But disappearing is our fear.

One of those things, or all of them.
We’re the silhouettes beneath the masks,
Only outlines of long-ago;
Antique reveries tinted in our eyes.

Masks are facades;
Lies used for show.
Humanity hands us these disguises
In attempt to conceal their mistakes,
But they only cover what we are.

Forgotten.

Please remember what is lost.

This is an interesting poem and I rather like it. However, I didn't understand the beginning or its connection to the rest of the poem.

Masks are facades;
Lies used for show.
Humanity hands us these disguises
In attempt to hide and erase their mistakes,
But they only cover what we are.

I really like this stanza, but I think the rhythm seems off. I think it would be better if either you added syllables to the first two lines or if you made the last three lines have less syllables.

Forgotten.

Please remember what is lost.

I really like this ending. It's dramatic and summarizes the meaning.

Overall, a very nice poem. Keep writing!

I really enjoyed your Poem. I write poetry sometimes and it takes me five hours to sit down and drum something out until I'm halfway pleased with it. I'm impressed! It had a great rhythm to it which is something a lot of poetry lacks, forcing you to drag through it instead of riding the tide. There were a few rough spots where the poem kind of "coughed" but otherwise I loved the mystery and sadness the poem held. These are the phrases I felt were a little... clunky and simply needed to have a few words revised. The meaning was great but the "sound" they made not so much:)

but I guess, along with time, they faded.

&

Is the shade our mask?

...you can call me crazy, maybe it's because some of your lines rhyme and others don't. Just a thought.
~Dakota