Photo Frame

a quick draft of a cereal poem I tried writing, not sure what to think of it. Please review

Photo Frame

Frozen in glass, the still smile stood
Bare, as just one of a throng that
Echoed through the voiceless hall

And as that ripple came to stand
You happened to look around
And see a nakedness that would not move.
A shiver glowered from every wall,
That smile unearthing every light
That came to pass

To reach out, to touch the face
So narrowly apart and yet
Stone cold.
The glass that smashes in your hands,
Falls to the floor.
You can not reach,
You are too old
And as you gaze
Glass raises up
And swallows you whole.
And you become another wooden frame,
A picture on the wall.

soo- what do you think?

I honestly think this is fabulous! I think your writing style far surpasses your years in terms of maturity and vocabulary. You seem to have a natural flair for poetry, well done. The idea that however much you may want to communicate with something or someone who is just a memory. When the photo frame is dropped and broken through the woman’s attempts to reconnect with the person in the picture, I really feel that this is close to life, as by trying so hard to remember, we often distort what we think happened. The chilling thought you leave us with, that when we die, all we are is memories is really refreshing, as most people write about people living on in hearts, but you are realistic, saying that the memories we have are just cold memories that can never bring the person back, we will never be able to reach out and touch them. This poem really caught my interest so thank you, and sorry if I got completely the wrong end of the stick! Your writing exudes an air of effortlessness, this poem is artistic and chilling, I love it!

Thank you for the opportunity to read this!

~ Roon

You got it, completely. So glad that someone could understand, I thought I'd made it too confusing.