me, myself and I

Okay, this is really bad, so if you're reading this I'm sorry for the waste of the next few seconds of your life if, that is if you go on to read my poem!

There’s a glass wall
Between myself
And I,

Which separates a
Dream from
A lie,

I stare into that
Looking glass,

Wishing
I could change places,

Wishing
I could find that magical
Wonderland,

Where I could be set free,
Where I could lose
Myself and I,

Where I could,
For once,
Be me.



thank you for your time,

Roon

Hey , I actually really liked this . I like the rhyme at the start and end especially: There’s a glass wall

"myself

And I,


from

A lie,"


"Where I could be set free,



For once,

Be me."

I think it is very effective , Keep up the good work (Y)

Hello

im so glad to your reviewer for today. first off this is really good. i love the imagery with the wall. And your rymthe sceme was very creative. I think it would read better if it was sperated into stanzas instead of just lumped together, but other than that this was really great. I would love to read some more of your work

Any questions just pm me I would love to answer any that you may have
-Awesome job

Tiffany

Hey!

I really liked your poem! I was pleasantly surprised I must say.
I loved that glass wall line. Somewhat cliche, but nice.
I also enjoyed the ending line. I totally get your concept. You want to be yourself but you feel afraid to do so because you're afraid people will judge you. I interpret your poem that way at least. I'm a little new to poetry, though. Good job. Keep writing. :]

Thank you so much for your comments, I'm glad that you like this, and get where I'm coming from!

I liked this.

And you shouldn't put yourself down so harshly. You have a natural talent and this poem reflects the feelings a lot of teens have about themselves.

Well done

This poem is not bad at all.It does look like you have put in quite a lot of effort into this.

The idea of the poem is unique and using the metaphor of the glass added more meaning to the poem,separating it from other similar poems with the same theme.at

The only thing unnecessary was the very first line at the top of the page,before the beginning of the poem.If the poem is actually bad(which in this case is completely untrue),it need not be mentioned as you will receive advice on how to improve it.

I really liked this, the imagery was great and the idea made perfect sense.

You need to build up your confidence, because when you're unsure about yourself, it shows up in your work. This was fantastic and if you can write this with so little confidence, I can't wait to see what you can do a few months, or even a few weeks, from now.

Keep up the good work

Hello

don't be so negative!

it isn't as bad as you made out.
Infact I really likke it evers so much!

well done!

very simple and yet very well written and meaningful in only a few words. simply a very good work.

OK
Firstly, I love your poem. It so totally reminds me of me. I wish I could find the cool, confident person I see behind the looking glass!
I like the rhyme at the beginning and end, but one little tip that has been pointed out to me in one of my poems: punctuation.
Remember you need punctuation at the end of each line - comma = breath, new line = no breath!
I would usually recommend you check by reading out loud, but your lines are nice and short and snappy, so you wouldn't run out of puff.
I guess punctuation is a personal choice, however, and may not be your "thing."

I like your short stanzas (verses) - they're like mini haikus! Maybe you should give haiku writing a try?

Keep writing
It wasn't a waste of my time!

Pgsgirl x

I like this =] Its not bad at all. =]]

Well this seems to be a pretty famous poem,
ha, I really like this,
and the beginning sounds mysterious and magical...
Dont say that somethings bad until you give it a try.

keep up the good work.

I really like this poem. You did a good job writing it. Keep writing