Death

I got REALLY REALLY bored today and I just started typing. Read it and i will tell you more about it.




I always thought about how I was to die. Would I die from old age? Illness? Murder? Animal bite? Bug Bite? Hit by a car? Drown...These are all common deaths in this era of time. But what are some uncommon deaths? Are there any? Deaths that have been unrecorded and just forgotten in time? Maybe. Maybe I’ll die that way...maybe not.


I am the type that likes to take risks. I’m not a stranger to danger; I embrace it as an old friend. I have done a lot of things throughout my 21 years of life so far. But there is something that I haven’t done yet, but it is exceptionally risky. You will hear the story about this risk. Do you think it will be risky? Will it cause me death...who knows?


I took a sip from the drink that sat on the bar counter in front of me. It tasted fruity but I could still taste the alcohol in it. I swirled the pink straw around the frosted glass, the ice clinking against the sides. This is my fourth drink tonight, except the last one and this one were bought for me from a guy sitting across the bar. He looked up and smiled at me, his perfect white teeth sparkled. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks and I looked down and turned my head to look behind me. He sat surrounded by some of his buddies that laughed and goofed off. But he just sat there with his hand rubbing the stubble on his chin, staring at me.


I sat alone; most of my friends were studying for final exams at St. James College for a medical degree. I want a degree but I have been studying ever since I learned about this exam and I think it’s time to party and have fun. I looked at my phone and read the time: 11:11 PM. Almost midnight, the time when the real party begins.
11:59:03
I got up from my chair and walked slowly and slyly over to the guy that was now chatting with his friends. At the stroke of midnight, I placed my hands on the table to finally talk to this guy. “Hello,” I said smiling; he turned his whole body and placed his arm around the back of the booth.
“Well, hello there.” He smiled back, staring into my eyes. I broke the lock and looked at his buddies. The smell of beer was strong and they were dead drunk.
“Hi. I came over here to thank you for the drinks.” I motioned to where I was sitting.
“Oh, you’re welcome. You just looked so lonely sitting there by yourself.”
“Yea, well my friends are all busy studying for exams tomorrow and I didn’t feel like staring at a book all night.”He chuckled and stood up,
“Come on guys, I better get you home before you get drunker.”They all slide out of the booth and walked out the door.
“Good luck with them in a car.” I giggled and turned to walk back to my spot to pay the bill.
“Hey, would you like to come with us? I can drive you home if you like?” He walked over and placed a bill on the counter.
“Umm, sure. I guess. I mean, it will be better than walking home.”I grabbed my leather coat off the chair and my backpack and followed him out. “Wait, I never got your name.”
“Asher, Asher Vale. Nice to meet you...?”
“Chianna, Chianna Welsh. Please to make your acquaintance.”Asher pulled out a ring of keys, various shapes and sizes. He stopped next to a red van, his buddies already crashed in the back. He snickered to himself and walked me over to the passenger side and opened the door for me. “Thanks,” I muttered as I sat on the seat and reached for the seat belt. He slipped in the driver’s side and started up the van. Soft opera music drifted from the speakers. “Phantom of the Opera?” I asked, even though I knew that it was.
“You’re an opera fan?” He asked, slightly turning up the music, but low enough that it wouldn’t wake up the guys in the back.
“Kind of; I mean, I like the meaning behind different plays and the feelings in just the music.” I leaned my head back against the head rest and closed my eyes; that sounded so stupid, I thought, don’t be so nervous. He looked at me and just shook his head. “So, umm, can I know more about you?” I asked placing my hands on my lap.
“Sure, what do you want to know?” He asked his eyes still on the road.
“I don’t care. Anything; anything to get rid of this awkward silence.”
“Well, since you don’t care and we have a while, I’ll see what I can tell you.”His fingers tapped the steering wheel, “I was born and raised in the small town of Hitterdal, Minnesota. The town is located near Fargo, and at the time only had the population of 120, but now had 201. My father was born and raised there as well and was a classic farm boy. He ran around the farm without shoes and in overalls. He had a beautiful collie named Angus, I know funny name, but that’s the kind of cows they raised. Anyways, my mother was going to Bismarck, North Dakota for some reason and stopped at Fargo for gas and food. My father was there selling eggs and vegetables, at this time he was 20. Mother was hungry and looking for greens instead of some meat. And met my father at that stand.” He paused and looked at me, “Bored yet?”
“Nope, you can keep going.”
“Okay well, but hold on, Scott’s house is right here.” Asher stopped the van and shook the leg of a tall slender man with spiky black hair. He blinked away and rubbed his eyes,
“Wa?”
“Dude, your house, here now, get out.” Scott shook his head and climbed over the guys and out the door. He stumbled up the path to his house and fell down in the door and fell asleep.
“Oh! Shouldn’t we help him?” I offered grabbing the door handle.
“No, he’s okay. His girlfriend will get him.” He said with a sigh and pulled away from the curb.
“He has a girlfriend? What kind of woman would be stupid enough to stay with a jackass like that?” I grumbled and crossed my arms.
“They’ve been off and on. But have a feeling that after tonight, they will separate for good.”
“Why do you think that?” I asked my total focus on him.
“He always goes out and drinks but tonight he did a lot of drinking and is really drunk. Plus she is pregnant and doesn’t need this in her life. She is a strong woman and can take care of herself.” He nodded and stopped the car in front of an apartment building. Two down, two to go. I sighed and leaned against the seat. “Are you tired? Had a long day?”
“A little bit, riding in the car always makes me sleepy. I had classes all day, and I have exams tomorrow…today.” I bolted up and looked at my phone. “Oh my gosh, it’s two ‘o clock in the morning! I have exams at six! I knew I should have walked home.”
“It’s okay, just calm down. Where do you live? I can drop you off right now.” He turned onto the highway,
“1403 Pleasant Hill Drive. “ I recited and leaned back against the seat trying to calm down.
“So, are you going out with anyone?” Asher asked turning on to Pleasant.
“No.” I took my seatbelt off and opened the door. “Thanks for the ride and drinks.”
“Wait,” He grabbed my hand, “Will you ever want to go to dinner with me?” I stared at our hands and back to his face.
“Yes,” I fished in my pants pocket and found a gum wrapper; I quickly scribbled my digits and gave it to him. “Call me.” I smiled and shut the door and jogged up to the house door and unlocked it and walked in.
After shutting the door I leaned up against it, trying to control my breathing and blood pressure. Tap tap tap. I looked through the peep hole and saw Asher standing there. I opened it, “Yes?”
“I know that I should call one of my buds but most of them were in the van passed out drunk, my van started smoking and died on me. “ I knew he wasn’t lying, I could smell the smoke from the doorway.
“Sure. What do you need? A place to stay? A phone?” I asked letting him walk in and take off his shoes and coat. “And welcome to my wonderful messy cramped home.” I giggled and went over to the coffee table in the living room and tried to straighten up.




I have no idea where this is gonna lead but i know i want something to happen is the girl. Like she is going to die or close to death and end up in the hospital. Is it good enough to keep working on? Or should I just stop?
Anybody have any plot plans, or anything that can happen next?

Interesting. I like this, but . . .

There are a few grammar, tense and spelling mistakes.

I am interested as to where this is going, but I imagine that Asher will be the one who somehow puts her into the hospital.

Rape? Attempted murder?

I want to see betrayal and broken hearts.

Ahh, but that is just me and my dramatic mind talking, perhaps something along those lines, but more . . . sensible?

PM me if you write anymore. ^^

Have A Nice Day.
Azrael.

Hey there!
I am Incognito, and I am going to go through your story with you.
Let us begin!~

I always thought about how I was to die.

First off, there is nothing really lone with this line. This comment is my own personal thoughts. How you phrased this, made it kind of awkward and not as fluent as it could be. Try rephrasing it maybe, to something like 'I always wondered about how I was going to die'. The usage of 'thought' and 'was' in this sentence gives it a feel of certainty, when it isn't actually certain.

Would I die from old age? Illness? Murder? Animal bite? Bug Bite? Hit by a car? Drown...These are all common deaths in this era of time.

How many people have died from just an animal bite? Change it to animal attack, or allergies to animals. Something that makes more sense.

Secondly, you do not need the capital on the second 'bite'. That is because it is not a Proper noun. You only have to capitalize peoples names, specific places that have a name, and other specific things. A bite is just a normal noun.

Thirdly, I do not think that you should have used the ...'s after drowning. That is because it does indeed show a transition of incomplete thoughts but you listed a whole bunch of ideas before hand. Also, you need a space after the '...' and before 'These'.

Maybe I’ll die that way...maybe not.

You need a space after the ellipsis (the ... thing) in this sentence.

I have done a lot of things throughout my 21 years of life so far.

The '21' should actually be spelt out 'twenty-one'. In writing your are supposed to write out the numbers unless it is dictating a year, or date.

But there is something that I haven’t done yet, but it is exceptionally risky. You will hear the story about this risk. Do you think it will be risky? Will it cause me death...who knows?

This is moderately confusing because you change tenses, and make it seem that you the character already went on the adventure because that is the only actual way that that person could tell them the story. If the story was actually happening now, then the story would be written in a whole different tense like the beginning. You have to watch out for.

Contradiction is a thing writers do all the time. This is the point you are contradicting yourself with daying that the MC hasn't done the risky thing yet, yet the MC can still tell the story to the person.

Secondly, your ellipsis is wrong. That should actually be a question mark and then the 'who knows' is a question on its own.

It tasted fruity but I could still taste the alcohol in it. I swirled the pink straw around the frosted glass, the ice clinking against the sides. This is my fourth drink tonight, except the last one and this one were bought for me from a guy sitting across the bar.

I highlighted various things in this sentence and that is because mostly your tenses. This is very confusing because you are talking in past tense in the beginning obviously repeating the story, yet here you go ending up switching into another tense using words like 'is'. You have to watch out with what kind of verbs you use.

Now this website is very helpful when figurinf out tenses.
http://www.englishtenseswithcartoons.com/.

When you write you have to have a consistant tense and that is why is gets so very tricky at points. I will actually go through your story and change it to one whole solid tense later on so you can get the gist of it.

I broke the lock and looked at his buddies.

I know that you were trying to describe their eyes which were staring into each others intensely, breaking, but how your phrased it made it sound awkward. In a literal sense, people would be asking, 'wait, what lock?'. Try using another word there.

“Yea, well my friends are all busy studying for exams tomorrow and I didn’t feel like staring at a book all night.”He chuckled and stood up,

You need a space after the quotations and then your comma should actually be a period because it is at the end of a sentence.

“Come on guys, I better get you home before you get drunker.”They all slide out of the booth and walked out the door.

Again you need the space after the quotations and the tenses got switched up here again.

I am not quite sure, but I don't think 'drunker' is an actual word. You should change it to 'more drunk'. Another thing was, wouldn't you think that there would be some grumbling from the friends if they were told to leave? I don't think they would all leave so quietly. Make it realistic and make the story believeable.

“Good luck with them in a car.” I giggled and turned to walk back to my spot to pay the bill.

This sounds slightly childish to me. How about changing it to something like 'back to the bar'.

“Hey, would you like to come with us? I can drive you home if you like?” He walked over and placed a bill on the counter.

Whose bill, his? Be specific.

“Umm, sure. I guess. I mean, it will be better than walking home.”I grabbed my leather coat off the chair and my backpack and followed him out.

You need a space after the second quotation.

Secondly, I think you should rather phrase 'grabbed my leather coat off the chair and my backpack' to something to make it seem more graceful. Where was the backpack? On the chair with the leather coat? Make sure you are specific in your writing.

"Asher, Asher Vale. Nice to meet you...?”

Your ellipsis shouldn't have a question mark at the end even if it is supposed to be in question form. Just have the ellipsis, or you can get rid of it and leave a normal period, and making it make more sense by making him ask her own name.

“Chianna, Chianna Welsh. Please to make your acquaintance.”Asher pulled out a ring of keys, various shapes and sizes. He stopped next to a red van, his buddies already crashed in the back. He snickered to himself and walked me over to the passenger side and opened the door for me. “Thanks,” I muttered as I sat on the seat and reached for the seat belt. He slipped in the driver’s side and started up the van. Soft opera music drifted from the speakers. “Phantom of the Opera?” I asked, even though I knew that it was.

There is plenty wrong with this part. I do not think you should have made her repeat her name because he just did that a couple seconds ago. Then you also never clarified that they slipped out of the bar, and were walking in the parking lot. Make sure the settings are known.

Also, I would think he would pull out his keys onces they saw the car first. Next up, the parragraph format is off. You have to remember that dialogue should be treated like a paragraph on its own. Here:

[quote='Incognito's version for paragraphs']]“Chianna, Chianna Welsh. Please to make your acquaintance.”

Asher pulled out a ring of keys, various shapes and sizes. He stopped next to a red van, his buddies already crashed in the back. He snickered to himself and walked me over to the passenger side and opened the door for me.

“Thanks,” I muttered as I sat on the seat and reached for the seat belt. He slipped in the driver’s side and started up the van. Soft opera music drifted from the speakers.

“Phantom of the Opera?” I asked, even though I knew that it was.[/quote]

“Sure, what do you want to know?” He asked his eyes still on the road.

You never said that they left the parking lot. : /

but now had 201.

Should be 'has' not 'had.

My father was born and raised there as well and was a classic farm boy. He ran around the farm without shoes and in overalls. He had a beautiful collie named Angus, I know funny name, but that’s the kind of cows they raised.

How would he know that his father would run around without shoes and overalls. I am guessing his father told him, but make that clear in the story.

Anyways, my mother was going to Bismarck, North Dakota for some reason and stopped at Fargo for gas and food. My father was there selling eggs and vegetables, at this time he was 20. Mother was hungry and looking for greens instead of some meat. And met my father at that stand.” He paused and looked at me, “Bored yet?”

I know that it is supposed to be random conversation, but I was just wondering, why would she want to know about how his parents met? Usually they would talk about themselves, and not how their parents met.

“He has a girlfriend? What kind of woman would be stupid enough to stay with a jackass like that?” I grumbled and crossed my arms.
“They’ve been off and on. But have a feeling that after tonight, they will separate for good.”

That guy did nothing in particular to make me think that he is a jackass. I wouldn't care if he came home from drinking. I would think that the guy driving who is the guys friend would stick up for him not put him down...

“It’s okay, just calm down. Where do you live? I can drop you off right now.” He turned onto the highway,

That comma should actually be a period because it is the end of a sentence.

“I know that I should call one of my buds but most of them were in the van passed out drunk, my van started smoking and died on me.“ I knew he wasn’t lying, I could smell the smoke from the doorway.
“Sure. What do you need? A place to stay? A phone?” I asked letting him walk in and take off his shoes and coat. “And welcome to my wonderful messy cramped home.”

Don't you think that his passed out friends would need a place to stay and be at the door also?

II. Grammar and Punctuation

You have excellent grammar. All I think was that I picked up on one error. Your punctuation is alright. You just have to make sure that when you have spaces are the dialogue and spaces after ellipses. There is one rule that I want you to keep in mind which is the actual rules for ellipses because you used them a lot in this piece and no all of them should have actually been there.

Ellipsis marks are a set of three periods that indicate dropped words or a dropped thought within a sentence. Knowing their grammar rules gives you more options when you quote and also allows you to create effects in your writing with them.

Write ellipsis marks correctly by writing them as a set of three periods, each separated from the material around them by a space. If the ellipsis marks come at the end of a sentence, you still need to end the sentence with a period after the ellipses.

Alert readers to the fact that you've dropped material from a quote by using ellipsis marks. You don't need to do this if you've dropped material from the beginning or end of a quote, but you do need to when you drop material from the middle of the quote. The sentence must still follow grammar rules when you add ellipsis marks.

Show that you've dropped one or more paragraphs in a long quotation or reprinted article by including ellipsis marks at the end of the preceding paragraph. The ellipses go after the last punctuation mark.

And finally, use ellipsis marks to indicate a pause or interruption of a thought or a pause in a sentence's flow. This is especially useful for recording dialogue or for creating a stylistic effect within your sentence.

III. Character Development

Fist off, your main character is certainly something, and Asher seems like a nice guy. But there is certain things you have to take note of.

Make your characters unique, make them memorable. Every character is different, everyone personality is unique, and make it that way, give them flaws, and strengths. Make them believeable. You can make sure their characteristics are known just by the way you describe their actions or how they think or speak. It all depends on how you want to portray the character.

For example; 'The man looked down on me arrogantly, his golden hair framing his face like a halo. He reached out swiftly, revealing the his mahogany velvet sleeve from under is cloak and grabbed the wine glass, as if mockingly.'

From that you can get a feeling that this man thinks higher of himself then the others around him and that he is richer because he is wearing velvet and grabbing a glass of wine. The describing of his golden hair comparing to a halo can makes it seem more angelic, which contrasts with his brutal personality, making it obvious that his appearance is part of the reason why he thinks so highly of himself. It is all about impressions.

Now onto describing them. When writing in first person, it isn't totally necessary to find a way to describe what the MC looks like, but I know nothing of what Asher looks like other than he has perfect white teeth. You need to make sure that the reader can figure out what the characters look like, and that can be tricky without info dumping. What you need to do is give hints here and there which can be placed together like a puzzle. Describe their actions just so so that you can get to the actual clothing and such with subtle hints. My example up there I gave a sample of doing so.

IV. Writing Format

Okay, first things first you have to describe the setting. Get those details in there using the same way as getting the characters looks in also. Setting is very important or else the reader will really have a hard time trying to connect with the writing.

Now onto your tenses. I gave you a website for you to also look at, but I am going to skim through your story to see if I can put it all into a common tense so you can see an example.

I always thought about how I was to die. Would I die from old age? Illness? Murder? Animal bite? Bug Bite? Hit by a car? Drown...These are all common deaths in this era of time. But what are some uncommon deaths? Are there any? Deaths that have been unrecorded and just forgotten in time? Maybe. Maybe I’ll die that way... maybe not.



I am the type that likes to take risks. I’m not a stranger to danger; I embrace it as an old friend. I have done a lot of things throughout my 21 years of life so far. But there is something that I haven’t done yet, but it is exceptionally risky. You will hear the story about this risk. Do you think it will be risky? Will it cause me death... who knows?



I took a sip from the drink that sat on the bar counter in front of me. It tastes fruity but I can still taste the alcohol in it. I swirled the pink straw around the frosted glass, the ice clinking against the sides. This is my fourth drink tonight, except the last one and this one were bought for me from a guy sitting across the bar. He looks up and smiles at me, his perfect white teeth sparkling. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks and I glanced down and turned my head to look behind me. He sat there surrounded by some of his buddies that laughed and goofed off. But he just sat there with his hand rubbing the stubble on his chin, staring at me.



I sat alone; most of my friends were studying for final exams at St. James College for a medical degree. I want a degree but I have been studying ever since I learned about this exam and I think it's time to party and have fun. I looked at my phone and read the time: 11:11 PM. Almost midnight, the time when the real party begins.

11:59:03

I get up from my chair and walk slowly and slyly over to the guy that is now chatting with his friends. At the stroke of midnight, I place my hands on the table to finally talk to this guy. “Hello,” I say smiling; he turns his whole body and places his arm around the back of the booth.

“Well, hello there.” He smiles back, staring into my eyes. I broke the lock and looked at his buddies. The smell of beer was strong and they were dead drunk.

“Hi. I came over here to thank you for the drinks.” I motion to where I was once sitting.

“Oh, you’re welcome. You just looked so lonely sitting there by yourself.”

“Yea, well my friends are all busy studying for exams tomorrow and I didn’t feel like staring at a book all night.” He chuckles and stands up,

“Come on guys, I better get you home before you get drunker.” They all slide out of the booth and walk out the door.

“Good luck with them in a car,” I giggle and turn to walk back to my spot to pay the bill.

“Hey, would you like to come with us? I can drive you home if you like?” He walks over and places a bill on the counter.

“Umm, sure. I guess. I mean, it will be better than walking home.”I grab my leather coat off the chair and my backpack and follow him out. “Wait, I never got your name.”

“Asher, Asher Vale. Nice to meet you...?”

“Chianna, Chianna Welsh. Please to make your acquaintance.” Asher pulls out a ring of keys, various shapes and sizes. He stops next to a red van, his buddies already crashed in the back. He snickers to himself and walks me over to the passenger side and opens the door for me. “Thanks,” I mutter as I sit on the seat and reach for the seat belt. He slips into the driver’s side and starts up the van. Soft opera music drifts from the speakers. “Phantom of the Opera?” I ask, even though I know that it is.

“You’re an opera fan?” He asks, slightly turning up the music, but low enough that it wouldn’t wake up the guys in the back.

“Kind of; I mean, I like the meaning behind different plays and the feelings in just the music.” I lean my head back against the head rest and close my eyes; that sounded so stupid, I thought, don’t be so nervous. He looks at me and shakes his head.

“So, umm, can I know more about you?” I ask placing my hands on my lap.

“Sure, what do you want to know?” He asks his eyes still on the road.

“I don’t care. Anything; anything to get rid of this awkward silence.”

“Well, since you don’t care and we have a while, I’ll see what I can tell you.” His fingers tap the steering wheel, “I was born and raised in the small town of Hitterdal, Minnesota. The town is located near Fargo, and at the time only had the population of 120, but now had 201. My father was born and raised there as well and was a classic farm boy. He ran around the farm without shoes and in overalls. He had a beautiful collie named Angus, I know funny name, but that’s the kind of cows they raised. Anyways, my mother was going to Bismarck, North Dakota for some reason and stopped at Fargo for gas and food. My father was there selling eggs and vegetables, at this time he was 20. Mother was hungry and looking for greens instead of some meat. And met my father at that stand.” He pauses and looks at me, “Bored yet?”

“Nope, you can keep going.”

“Okay well, but hold on, Scott’s house is right here.” Asher stops the van and shakes the leg of a tall slender man with spiky black hair. He blinks away and rubs his eyes,

“Wa?”

“Dude, your house, here now, get out.” Scott shakes his head and climbs over the guys and out the door. He stumbles up the path to his house and falls down in the door and falls asleep.

“Oh! Shouldn’t we help him?” I offer, grabbing the door handle.

“No, he’s okay. His girlfriend will get him.” He says with a sigh and pulls away from the curb.

“He has a girlfriend? What kind of woman would be stupid enough to stay with a jackass like that?” I grumble and cross my arms.

“They’ve been off and on. But have a feeling that after tonight, they will separate for good.”

“Why do you think that?” I ask, my total focus on him.

“He always goes out and drinks but tonight he did a lot of drinking and is really drunk. Plus she is pregnant and doesn’t need this in her life. She is a strong woman and can take care of herself.” He nods and stops the car in front of an apartment building. Two down, two to go. I sigh and lean against the seat. “Are you tired? Had a long day?”

“A little bit, riding in the car always makes me sleepy. I had classes all day, and I have exams tomorrow…today.” I bolt up and look at my phone. “Oh my gosh, it’s two ‘o clock in the morning! I have exams at six! I knew I should have walked home.”

“It’s okay, just calm down. Where do you live? I can drop you off right now.” He turns onto the highway,

“1403 Pleasant Hill Drive. “ I recite and lean back against the seat trying to calm down.

“So, are you going out with anyone?” Asher asks, turning on to Pleasant.

“No.” I take my seatbelt off and open the door. “Thanks for the ride and drinks.”

“Wait,” He grabs my hand, “Will you ever want to go to dinner with me?” I stare at our hands and back to his face.

“Yes,” I fish in my pants pocket and find a gum wrapper; I quickly scribble my digits and give it to him. “Call me.” I smile and shut the door and jog up to the house door and unlock it and walk in.

After shutting the door I lean up against it, trying to control my breathing and blood pressure. Tap tap tap. I look through the peep hole and saw Asher standing there. I open it, “Yes?”

“I know that I should call one of my buds but most of them were in the van passed out drunk, my van started smoking and died on me. “ I know he wasn’t lying, I can smell the smoke from the doorway.

“Sure. What do you need? A place to stay? A phone?” I ask letting him walk in and take off his shoes and coat. “And welcome to my wonderful messy cramped home.” I giggle and stride over to the coffee table in the living room and tried to straighten up.

That is only one way for tenses. It is your beginning that throws me off, I have no idea what the rest of the story should be in. That is up to you.

V. Overall

This story certainly has potential, and there is a world that you can do. I believe that if you fix up your tenses and read through the piece a couple more times your would be able to pick up the simple mistakes and misplaced commas that I ended up picking up after. It seems that you have quite the story on your hands.

You ask for ideas, my only thought is that you might want to add conflict whether it be anything. I believe if you would like to write something like that with attempted rape. Something seems fishy to me about this Asher person and it could possibly work out great because everything seems to be working well.

The only problem right now is that in the beginning she is saying that she wants to attempt something risky, and that is mainly what you are trying to figure out and then the consequences for the risk is her ending up in the hospital. If it was indeed rape, then you could even through in a little bit of pregnancy in there.

Mainly it is up to you.

This was a great start, and I hope to see more of your work.
~Incognito