I don't have much to say about this. It didn't really move me but it was good. But I didn't like the last two lines - up until then I was enjoying the poem, despite my dislike for rhyming patterns. To get me to like something I don't like, you have suceeded.
I liked this. I can't decide if the rhyming helped or was distracting, But I agree that it was a little jarring for the last to lines not to rhyme when the rest did. I liked alot of your images though. Especially
"I'll follow myself wherever I go".
That was cool. And... I think I decided I like the rhymes. Nice job!
Siempre, siempre: jardin de mi agonia, tu cuerpo fugitivo para siempre, la sangre de tus venas en mi boca, tu boca ya sin luz para mi muerte. -From 'Del amor imprevisto', Federico Garcia Lorca
Contrary to popular opinion, my favourite lines are the last 2.
I don't personally like this poem all that much, because I don't like rhyming patterns either. And I totally get what you mean about the snow thing.
It's just that this is a poem that I know off by heart, because it means something to me that it probably doesn't to anyone else. I was in a weird frame of mind!!
I don't really like the rhyme scheme in this poem because it's predictable and trite. The last two lines completely break the rhyme scheme, and to me it seems like that happens because you couldn't think of a way to rhyme the lines. Also, I don't understand the meaning of the poem. Just remember to show instead of tell.
"lovers alone wear sunlight." -e e cummings
"A well-behaved woman rarely makes history." -Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
"Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody."
-Mark Twain
