The Inch - The Full Story - Chapter 1 • Young Writers Society

Caerulean · 2009-07-07T12:51:49Z

http://i5.tagstat.com/image02/0/efbe/001L051se--.jpg The Inch There is no one else. There is only I and my love who can tell our story – Our love story. Wouldst it be in Archaic English or not, regardless of proper grammar unless the listeners demand? There is only one way to tell it, and that is to summon every memory back from the graveyard. Let me begin with that specific moment, when my thoughts were blank…when… Chapter 1 - Meeting ...I was thinking nothing and was struggling against my tears. That event just made me nostalgic, memories were coming back. It was in the middle of August. My name is Haniel Riddenwood and I was thirteen. My father had always been the manager of the stables and my late mother grew vegetables in her old garden. She was gone, and that day was her death anniversary. It had been three years. The people left the place after a couple of hours and I was left alone in the meadow. My father wiped his tears and left early for work. Moreover, it was Saturday, so I was able to stay for awhile. I had my violin with me, the one that my mother gave me for my ninth birthday. I wiped another tear before I started playing Canon in D on my dearest violin. I played the intro, as the wind blew the grass and the pine trees that filled the meadow. I continued playing ‘til the verses and then, the chorus, which is my favourite part of the song, was lovely. Despite the speed of it, I remained calm and stood still. I made a mistake at the middle of the second chorus and stopped playing. “Still…” I started murmuring, “I haven’t perfected playing Canon .” I was melancholic as I spoke those words at the gravestone of my beloved mother, recalling my first violin lessons a month after my ninth birthday. “I send belated condolences to thee,” spoke a lovely voice from behind me. I was astonished. What was the point of speaking in Archaic English when that language was already forgotten in this part of England? And, for another reason, I was astonished, for I have already been alone in this meadow for hours. My face remained serious though. “Did I surprise thee?” continued the girl. I turned around and saw her, a very beautiful blonde British girl. I spoke gently but dim-wittedly because of my astonishment, my bow and violin still in my hands. “Thou are from…somewhere else in Britain, correct?” She laughed at my pathetic Archaic English, though I knew mine was really poor. “Pardon me,” she spoke, “I actually do not know if my Archaic English is correct.” We laughed in unison. Then, for the sake of decency, I fixed my white polo and put my bow and violin down on the gentle grass. “I’m Haniel,” I introduced myself as I stepped forward and reached my right hand out. She took my hand and shook it. “Elina,” she replied. Her hand was soft and smooth. Her voice was kind and gentle. I started liking her from that moment on. - - - ♥ - - - We went for a walk, away from the peaceful meadow. We paced slowly, as slow as the speed of our conversation. She skipped forward and held two thin trees in her gentle hands, looking at the sun that glimmered through the leaves above. The sunlight lit up her lovely sea green dress. Her blonde hair shone like the sun. “It’s so beautiful here,” she said gently. Then she turned back to me after she made final glances around. She and I stood still, and the bow and violin’s sort of coarse feeling already departed from my hands. We stared at each other’s faces, scrutinizing. I looked at her eyes and so did she look at mine. “It was nice meeting you, Haniel,” she suddenly spoke. It seemed to me like some kind of resistance or emergency. “You’re leaving already?” I asked hesitantly, trying to stay polite. “I was just passing by when I heard your soothing violin,” she winked as she smiled. “Okay…” I had nothing else to say. “Adieu!” she said gladly, waving gently. I waved back timidly as I stepped back. I wasn’t able to wave the same way she did, for I was shy. Then, I looked behind, and looked back at her again. Her head was tilted towards my direction, eyes looking at me as she walked away. My thoughts were fuzzy, and the distance seemed unfathomable.

Karsten

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Tue Sep 15, 2009 4:39 pm

Karsten says... · Tue Sep 15, 2009 4:39 pm

Hi Whisperer,

Thanks for messaging me to clear this up. I obviously misinterpreted your previous comments - I felt like you were reacting defensively to my criticisms and accusing me of being too stupid and/or lazy to read properly. I'm sorry that I didn't give you the opportunity to clarify before I got aggressive.

Best of luck with your writing.

Thanks,
Karsten

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Caerulean

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Wed Sep 16, 2009 10:51 am

Caerulean says... · Wed Sep 16, 2009 10:51 am

Karsten wrote:Hi Whisperer,

Thanks for messaging me to clear this up. I obviously misinterpreted your previous comments - I felt like you were reacting defensively to my criticisms and accusing me of being too stupid and/or lazy to read properly. I'm sorry that I didn't give you the opportunity to clarify before I got aggressive.

Best of luck with your writing.

Thanks,
Karsten

Whew, thanks!

“(...) and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” - Gandalf, The Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring

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hero

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Wed Sep 16, 2009 11:41 am

hero says... · Wed Sep 16, 2009 11:41 am

I liked it; it had British characters rather than the Americans everywhere (no offense to any Americans). However, I dunno. Where is Haniel from? She doesn't talk like a modern girl, she doesn't talk 'archaic' but she talks too politely. No 'Who the hell are you, and what's with the archaic talking?' that I would probably say.
Also, can I just ask about the violin thing? Its just, as a violin student myself, I'm wondering how long she's being playing; I'm only beginning, but how long until one may play Canon in D? What is Canon anyway? I don't think I've heard of it. Also, if its a violin piece, I don't think its describe as chorus or verse (those refer to singing, don't they?)

Sorry if my review hasn't been good.

This guy is so evil you could put him in between two slices of bread and call him an evil sandwich.

Coming at you like a jetpack Shakespeare.

Hero's Reviews
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic53905.html

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Caerulean

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Thu Sep 17, 2009 2:04 pm

Caerulean says... · Thu Sep 17, 2009 2:04 pm

hero wrote:I liked it; it had British characters rather than the Americans everywhere (no offense to any Americans). However, I dunno. Where is Haniel from? She doesn't talk like a modern girl, she doesn't talk 'archaic' but she talks too politely. No 'Who the hell are you, and what's with the archaic talking?' that I would probably say.
Also, can I just ask about the violin thing? Its just, as a violin student myself, I'm wondering how long she's being playing; I'm only beginning, but how long until one may play Canon in D? What is Canon anyway? I don't think I've heard of it. Also, if its a violin piece, I don't think its describe as chorus or verse (those refer to singing, don't they?)

Sorry if my review hasn't been good.

Ugh, some people keep referring to Haniel as female when he's actually male, and he's from Eaglescliffe (Sorry, I'm actually not from "Britain" so I just looked it up). If she was female, I should have made it Hanielle not Haniel. Anyways, Canon is a very popular piece, hero. I wonder why you don't know it. Anyways, the common people refer to the parts of any piece with the terms 'verses' and 'choruses' and I have no alternative words for them.

“(...) and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” - Gandalf, The Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring

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GeeLyria

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Thu Jun 10, 2010 1:47 am

GeeLyria says... · Thu Jun 10, 2010 1:47 am

WHISPERER... I'm going to be really HONEST with you... this is the best story I've ever read. I love the way you described everything, I mean it was so awesome I'm going to read the next chapter

Thanks for let others read this!! :smt002

-Solvalery :smt003

Noob is a state of being, not a length of time. ~Ego

"Serás del tamaño de tus pensamientos; no te permitas fracasar."

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The Inch - The Full Story - Chapter 1

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