Boy’s Blood

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Deleted.
Last edited by timjim77 on Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.




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Nice. However, I don't understand the ending. Does the boy get in a fight? Is life beating him down? Please explain. The burning bush metaphor is quite good.
"Artichoke -
O heart weighed down by so many wings."
- Joseph Hutchison




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Delete.
Last edited by timjim77 on Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.




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I liked the images and how it all flowed together, I just don't feel like it ever really connected to the reader and started to make sense. It feels like there's a piece missing, almost, a vital piece that would make it all make it all clearer.
The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief. ~William Shakespeare, Othello
Boo. SPEW is watching.




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“There comes a time,
In every man’s life,
When he realizes he’s alive.”


It was a hooking beginning and it held me all the way through. I loved the reference to the bush and the whole way that the man tells the boy about how he will bleed once and how he has to live. I also liked how you specified that it was a "man's blood, not a boy's blood". It got your point across about the wound that you are talking about. I agree with you in this poems sense and it is also very well written. Congrats.
Carpe Diem.



the only theft here is of decency when carina decided to rob me of my pride and put me on a banana
— veeren