so, chapter 6! It's still short, but it took a lot of work, so please comment and help!!Thank you so much guys!!
chapter 6- unexpected
"I'm late," I looked at my watch, not wanting it to be true.
Jessie looked disappointed himself. "I had a great time," he smiled, but all the enthusiasm was gone. I always hated it when we had to part.
"I'll see you again tomorrow, but I really am late for my class now." I checked my watch again, stress leaking into my voice. I was being too transparent. Why did I have to be such a goodie-two shoes kind of girl that can't even ditch class one time? One time that was really, really needed.
Jessie hugged me close and my heart thudded in my chest. "Yeah," he agreed. "I'll see you again tomorrow."
Weird, weird, weird, I shook my head as I jogged to my car. Getting out of a relationship and jumping into another was so unhealthy. I shouldn't be doing it. But was it really my fault? Really that bad that now of all times this person who made me feel this way showed up? Was it? I tried to think it through.
I could come to no conclusions.
And besides, Jessie and I… were just different. I didn't know if we were together, or just friends, or anything really. I frowned to myself. It would have been great if Kelly could've helped me. But Kelly wasn't even thinking about helping me now… we somehow managed to get into little fights, never agreeing nowadays, though only a week passed. I cringed away from the thought of how much I had worried her to make her like this. As much as I disapproved of my reluctant relationship with Jessie, Kelly simply hated it, and thus… she started hating me.
Funny thing, that. I never thought I would fight this badly with a person I once thought my best friend. I shrugged, starting the car. That just comes to show life is unexpected. I winced as the all too familiar tears stung in my eyes. Unexpected hurt.
***
My new apartment was great. I was just renting it, but it already felt like my home. Like I've lived there before, had a lot of memories hiding in every corner, then forgot about them. My things were already out of the boxes, in the closets and on the floor, my old refrigerator was stocked with milk, cheese and bread, and my laptop stood loyally on a new-old coffee table that came with the apartment. It almost screamed home. I loved it.
Jessie loved it too.
He hadn't left my side since that day in the restaurant, always cheering me on, always smiling and joking. He studied computers, worked at Emily's to afford it, since his parents didn't pay for his studies. I felt grateful for my own parent's when I heard him say that. His eyes were hidden by his golden hair, and he was staring at the floor. He sounded mechanic too, something I noticed he does when he feels stressed. I noticed a lot of things about him.
I looked at the new cover of my book, lying lazily next to my laptop. It wasn't ominous as it usually seemed, and it didn't give me any hope like it sometimes did. It just covered my story, the characters I considered a part of my world, their life, their problems. It just covered something that wasn't real. What if I quit? The question lingered in my mind long after I'd banished it. It would be nice to quit. I could go on being a manager, try out for some fancy store, I already had the experience… but there was still time, wasn't there?
The concept of time seemed strange to me: sometimes everything seemed like it was falling apart, like I couldn't last another second, but then I'd recover, somehow, and things would be fine again. I knew how I recovered. Jessie kept making sure I did.
I bit my lip. I owed him better than quitting. And characters like Jamey and Lila weren't people you stumbled across every day. They were special.
That's what Jared used to call them.
My heart beat unevenly in my chest. Jared. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, until it hurt, all in order to escape the thought of him. To no avail.
Did I love him?
Yes. I was sure of it. No matter how Jessie had my heart running, what the way his hand felt in mine did to me, how his smell made me calm, like I knew it from some other time, no matter how much he made me dizzy… I loved Jared, with his big green eyes, with the way I grew to love him, not instantly thrown into it all, with the way he smiled, and the way we used to talk… the tears escaped, falling bitterly one after the other. I had so much good people in my life, I didn't deserve it. And Jessie, to have someone like him was a miracle. But I missed Jared.
I let the tears fall peacefully, resigned. No one was there, no one would see. "Jared…" I whimpered in a low voice. As long as I'm at it, I figured, I might as well let it all out.
As if a sign from above, my phone started ringing. "Hello?" I croaked into the machine.
"Am I speaking to Merry?" asked a formal voice, pronouncing my name incorrectly.
"Yes." my tone was more reasonable, a reaction to the formal voice. "Who is it?"
"This is St. Monic's hospital, your number was on the list of people we should call to incase of an accident…"
I couldn't speak. My hands started trembling. The doctor didn't have to tell me anything for me to know what happened. My cold, now bloodless lips trembled into shapes of words, enough strength in me for one final sentence. My eyes stung with new tears. Please, god, if you're out there, please. "Is Jared alright?" I whispered.
I haven't read the other chapters, but I thought I'd look at this anyway.
)
