**A poem about broken love

Hi, Hailey! I'm June! Welcome to YWS.

Poetry is an awesome way to get your feelings out onto paper, or out to the world. I can see that you have done that here, and either written your thoughts or actual feelings out.

The problem with love poems is that they are all so similar, dear. Everyone is faced with different variations of the same problem in love, so when you write it out vaguely without going into specific detail, it is hard to capture the feelings of the poet when the audience read it.

I often find myself telling people who write/wrote love poems to give us a reason to understand their emotions, the side effects, the after effects. For all we care, a member of the audience could be a someone who has never fallen in love, and has this closed-minded outlook on it based on the majority of love poems that are thrown out there.

For this reason, I say to back up your poem. Give us a reason, dear, to understand why this happened. Give us the other person's side of the story. Give us the details that you may not want to share, because we need them in order to truly understand your poem and mark it as different from all other love poems.

Just want to point this out:

You tell me that your sorry,

• your in this line should be you're; the contraction for You Are.

Goodluck writing, dear. Thanks for the read!

Juniper

Hello Hailey

Alright, so first of all, I should let you know that i'm no poem-pro. I enjoy reading it, and I also like to interpret the emotions depicted from the messages conveyed.

Obviously you've been through quite a dramatic situation and definitely have been trying to convey that through your poem. My suggestion is similar to June's, which is simply to add detail. Love is such a complicated emotion. But I also believe it's a personal, unique experience for every single person that experiences it. Make your reader feel that. Bring out exactly what you feel, make it specific and original (because that's what it is. No one else has felt EXACTLY what you have) so that your reader will remain interested and captivated by what you are trying to express.

Good luck, keep up the good work!

FA

Very well written! I quite enjoyed reading this poem, you expressed your feelings in a very deep and emotional way. I also liked the way you used bold-print. That made the words stand out more, and possibly so it could help the reader see better. Or maybe it was part of the theme of the poem. It remains a mystery to me.

I liked how you described how the character felt when her 'lover' betrayed her...for me this was quite emotional and I just enjoyed the theme of the poem. I often read sad and depressing poems. For me, they aren't depressing. I just like reading them. Just because the author wrote a sad poem doesn't necessarily mean she/he was feeling sad or hurt. Sometimes that is the case, but not always.

Excellently written, there were a few minor spelling and grammar mistakes, but overrall I enjoyed the poem. Great job!