Edited !
CHAPTER 1
As I sit here listening to sad Taylor Swift songs, I realize how shitty my life really is. My love life, that is. The rest of my life is pretty good. I come from a family who loves me, I go to a wonderful international school, I live in a house with running water and basic needs, I'm rich compared to the average person. I'm privileged. But I'm not treasuring everything I have because there's an imperfection in my life. And sadly, I'm a perfectionist. Wonderful, right?
I have mood swings, like every other female teenager in the world. Like many other teenagers in the world, I also have a nonexistent love life. While couples are out celebrating Valentine's Day, I spend it with my other single friends, celebrating how we DON'T have boyfriends. Everyone else seems to enjoy it, but not me. I don't want to celebrate the fact that I don't have a boyfriend. I want to hide it. But, if I do act sad, or try to regret my decision to come to this anti-Valentine party, I'd cause a scene and ruin my friends fun.
Confusing as it is, this is how I live my life. I'm acting half the time, but my acting skills have developed so much over the years that nobody seems to notice when I'm unhappy. I wander around school every day, miserable as ever, but I put a smile on my face, just so that I can avoid the unwanted attention. Nobody notices my real feelings anymore, these demons I keep hidden inside of me.
Everyone but this one special guy. This one special guy who I've known for ages, but who doesn't seem to notice the feelings I have for him. He's always been a bit oblivious, but I never realized a person could be so unaware to the feelings others are almost broadcasting towards them. Everyone always used to ask me, "Are you two going out?" and I would always reply with a chuckle, "No! Of course not." When deep inside, I wish we were. We've always been best friends, this guy and me. The memories I have with him are great. But whenever I mention him, my best friend’s eyes go dark.
"Cassie, I'm sorry, but I've told you this a billion times. He's a player! He'll never take you seriously, and he doesn't deserve you!" Kaylie said.
"I know, I know. But Kay, what am I supposed to do? I can't just stop liking him. That's not how I am, and you know that," I replied.
"I know that Cassie. You're my best friend for God's sake. I just wish you would. I mean, no offense, but he's never going to like you,".
Kaboom. That was unexpected to say the least. Kaylie's always been the type of person who's straight forward, and who speaks her mind, but I never expected her to say that.
"What do you mean he'll never like me?" They always said curiosity killed the cat.
"I'm just saying. He knows you like him, and he hasn't done anything," I could sense something was wrong.
"Kay, is there something you're not telling me?" As well as being one of the most popular girls at school, Kaylie was also the resident "Gossip Girl" in our group.
"I'm sorry Cass. I was hoping Jon would tell you this, but my theory's been proven that he just doesn't have balls," I couldn't help but laugh at that one.
"Kay, what is it?" The look on her face made my insides churn.
"Jon's going out with her Cassie. He's going out with Miranda."
☂☂☂☂☂
"Get out," I murmured.
"I'm really sorry Cass," Apparently she didn't hear me.
“I said get out!” I yelled, and with that I pushed her out of my room. With the turn of a key, she wouldn't be allowed to disturb me anymore. I slumped to the floor with tears meandering down my cheeks, unable to stop. I could vaguely hear the thumps of Kay’s fists on my door and her apologetic voice.
"Cassie, open the door please. We need to talk," She said. Hesitantly, I let her into my room.
"How could she?" So much for being best friends. She’d never confessed feelings for Jon, but why?
"Honey, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry," Kaylie brought me into her arms and I wept my heart out.
It was a while before I regained my sanity. Kaylie had gone home already, and I was kind of glad. Kaylie's a good friend and all, but she doesn't really know what to do in times of a crisis. I was lying on the floor looking up at the hand prints which covered the ceiling. We were supposed to go to the water park that day, Miranda, Kaylie, and I. Amazingly enough, it started raining, so we decided to graffiti the ceiling of my room. I could still see the small pink heart Miranda left. I thought to myself, "What did I do to deserve this? I'm generally a good person. I never hurt Miranda".
Or so I thought.
CHAPTER 2
As I was pondering on what I'd done to make Miranda's life miserable, my mum shyly entered my room. She was wearing her work attire, plain black suit, elegant jewelry, and a smile.
"Hi sweetie. How are you?" I guess she found it peculiar that I was lying on the floor. Everyday when she gets home from work, she'll stalk me out and find out how I am, how was school, the usual nonsense.
"Fine," I said. It was my usual response, and normally she would leave after I said this. For some reason, today was different.
"Are you sure Cassandra? You don't seem fine," She crooned. At home, I felt safe. My mother was the only one who ever called me Cassandra, apart from my dad.
"Yes, I'm sure," Something was up. She was up to something.
"Honey, Kaylie told me what happened. She explained on her way out," She replied. I knew it. Kaylie could be a blabbermouth at times, and I should have known that she was going to tell my mum.
"I don't want to talk about it," I said sternly. It was times like these that I missed my dad. I could talk to him about anything, and I usually did. He helped me through my first crush and heartbreak, and like other dads, he wasn't awkward after I told him.
My dad died of testicular cancer 3 years ago. I was just entering middle school. During the summer, he wasn't feeling too well, so he flew to Singapore, which at that time was medical Mecca, while I stayed at Kaylie's while they were gone, and I didn't suspect anything.
I thought that he probably had to get a medical checkup, not start chemotherapy. They came back a week after, and they broke the news to me. He suffered for a year. The cancer was quickly multiplying in numbers while everyone was quietly watching with blind eyes.
The cancer had spread and there was nothing we could do about it. Having a parent who has cancer really sucks, for lack of a better term. For one thing, you get called to the counselor's office all the time. They think you'll have a meltdown suddenly during school hours, and it's actually pretty cool, because I was allowed to request less homework. Not that I did. I was just given the option.
Anyway, everyone treats you differently. Some of my friends (like Kaylie and Miranda) were cool about it, and they didn't let my dad's sickness change our friendship. But others did let it. I guess they thought that just because my dad had cancer, they had to walk on eggshells around me, when in reality, that was one thing I wish they wouldn't do. Eventually, I just drifted away from those people, because I didn't think it was worth spending my time with people who were so cautious, they could never have fun.
My dad's condition was deteriorating at a frightful rate, so my parents pulled me out of school and we went to the Bahamas for a bit. We stayed there for 2 weeks, and so far, its been the best 2 weeks of my life. We were all so happy, and there was nothing that could ruin our optimism.
I'll never forget the day he died. I had a drum lesson, and I skipped so that I could spend my time with him. For some reason, our family just had this feeling that this would be his last day. He passed away at night while he was sleeping, and we held the funeral ceremony a few days after. I know it sounds cheesy and everything, but he's left an empty space in my heart. I love him so much, but since he's not here, I forget him sometimes. Recently, I forgot what he looked like, and I had to go through photo albums to refresh my memory.
My mum brought me back to reality, and she had a worried look on her face. It seemed like my day was just going to get even worse.
"Cassandra, there's something I need to tell you. I've been meaning to tell you this after your father died, because I knew he would never tell you. But since what happened with Miranda, I think it's time you should know what your father did," She explained.
"What do you mean? What did he do mum?" As usual, I got to curious for my own good.
"Cassandra, do you know what really happened to Miranda's father?"
"Yeah, he died in a car accident ages ago. Didn't he?" The look on her face was creeping me out, and I knew something was up.
"All these years, she's been lying. Cass, did you know Miranda's father and your father went to school together?" Hold up. First of all, she never calls me "Cass". Second of all, why didn't anybody ever tell me that our dad's went to school together?
"That's so cool! So, what's the point mum? What did you need to tell me?"
"Cass, it's not "cool". Your father excessively bullied Miranda's father when they were children. It grew to the point where Miranda's father's family had to move to another city,". I didn't realize that my dad would ever be capable of doing this. I mean sure, he could be a bit cocky at times, but excessively bully a kid? No way. This was just not like my dad.
"Mum, that's impossible. Dad would never do such a thing. Plus, what does it have to do with Miranda's dad dying in a car crash?" It all clicked suddenly.
"Honey, I don't know if you know this, but Miranda's father suffered a lot a couple years back. He lost his job, and he almost lost Miranda and her mother as well. That was when the "car crash" happened," She explained. Normally she never uses air quotes. "Miranda's dad wasn't a very strong person after your father bullied him, and he made a bad choice Cassandra. On the night of April 9, 2005, Miranda's dad killed himself."
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Oh well. I'm over it now. This is just a way of me getting revenge, in my own little way 
haha. I will think spectacular ! HAHA ((: I've already started expanding it, but I'm only going to post it when I have a couple of chapters done 
I especially love the title, really it's pretty true 
