Young Writers Society

Look at me.
Look.

Look at my eyes.
Their orange glow-
And dark green lining;
A shelter.

Look at my ribs.
Their tight structure-
And olive toned seal;
A coat.

Look at me.
Look.

Look at my stares.
Their crying voices-
And piercing weeps;
A beckoning.

Look at my bones.
Their weakened strength-
And rippled skin;
A hostage.

Did you look at me?
Me?

I think you are talking about being held captive, but I'm not sure. I think it is good just not really clear.

Wow, i love how demanding and percise this is. You have done a wonderful job with imagery and showing. i really have nothing bad to say about this poem, and i know to critque something there has to be something to fix, but honestly i don't see anything I would personally change about this poem. I do, though, think it could have had a stronger ending.

It's so strong and demanding in the beginning and stays the same constitancy through our the whole poem except for the end. It loses it's strong willed-ness and becoems almost.... vulnerable. I would of just ended it with another demand of look at me, but this is your poem not mine.


Awesome job

-Tiffany

Wow! This poem is really moving and you should be really proud!!

You've got definite talent and should keep at it