i enjoyed it. i would give you grammar tips but i myself am not that great when it comes to grammar. one suggestion i will give you is: put quotation marks around the sentence when your characters are speaking.
"hey!" she exclaimed. (like that.)
sorry if someone already said this and i missed it.
The grand in the hotel rings with broken tunes; the guests frown; the concierge winces. But the blue-hatted boy is happy and braver than they. — TheMythMaster