need some help with making romance non-cheesy

Well, in the couple for the novel i'm writing, i just feel like the love is unintetionaly superfical. It's in first person, and I change perspectives, but all i have them doing is describing their appearances whenever they see eachother. I want them to be in true love but i think i also overdoo it a little. Could someone please help me?
-.-

Well, one tip is to NOT have them fall in love at first sight. Let them grow and bond together before deciding that they're in love.

Trust me, in my writing I have been critiqued for this, and I have read bad books that have this.

So, don't use love at first sight!

So, romance is definitely a tricky genre for that very reason. It can seem very cheesy and I think that’s because people don’t always know just exactly what love is. It takes some understanding of love to write about love, but it takes a lot of experience in the romance department of the real world to write a good romance novel.

I’ve spent almost all of my time on YWS writing about romance because that’s just happens to be the main focus of my life…love. I fall in and out of love so much that I’ve learned to understand what romance feels like. So honestly, the best way to know how to make it seem non-cheesy is to go out there and live it. Fall in love with the guy who holds the door open for you if only for an instant when your eyes meet, fall in love with your best friend, fall in love with the guy at who works at Starbucks who always adds just a little extra foam to your coffee.

I hope all of that made sense. But what I’m getting at in the most basic form is that love is every where and if your going to write about it, you have to know how to tap into it and live it.

Hi DrPepper,

I don't believe we've met, so I'm pleased to make your acquaintance.

I know little about writing romance as I've written very little of it. All I can tell you is that for me, what makes romance good is a plot. I'll give you an example: If you've ever watched the illusionist, you'll know that it is essentially a love story. Love story's are generic, though, and you need to try to be a little original and different if you want your characters to work. What makes the illusionist so great is that it breaks out of the mold.

Most of the best love stories written have something preventing the love from occurring. Romeo and Juliet could not love each other because of a family feud. Even in Harry Potter, Harry wants to protect Ginny. Any romance that has an interesting idea behind it will work. Anything else won't. Perhaps the love is unrequited, or maybe it is merely a spacial gap that prevents the lovers from seeing one another.

Without a story, romance is not effective.

Also, love isn't based on mere qualities. It is based on incidences that connect the parties. You need to try to develop reasons beyond, "He's hot," or "She is so clever," if you want your story to succeed. Try avoiding those thoughts in fact. Incidences are far more telling.

Also, with romance, if you write in the first person, you often end up with a biased and therefore superficial view of the situation. Perhaps switch to the third person?

Hope this helped
Have a great one!

Hey there! I'll admit I'm not a perfect romance writer either (I've been criticized a lot for the main romantic relationship in my current work, and I'm trying to learn from those mistakes to build better characterization in my editing), but I think I have some ideas that might help you.

First of all, all the writers above me make excellent points. (Check out that article by Snoink that Mars linked to—it’s amazing.)

One thing I would suggest is to make sure that the characters that are falling in love have… other purposes in the story, as well. In other words, I guess, try to keep anyone in the story from just being The Designated Love Interest. Make sure they’re independent as characters—they don’t rely on their love interest to make them a round character. It’s hard to write a believable romance if somebody feels like just an accessory to the main character. I think the most effective way to do this is to build relationships between both characters involved in the romance and everyone else in the cast—friendships? Enemy-ships? General indifference? After all, real people in a relationship don’t suddenly forget completely about all their friends, family, and enemies (unless something is veeerry wrong). For example, in my current project, a character in love with the main viewpoint character finds an intellectual companionship in another member of the main cast, and an impromptu mentor and teacher in another. And in my planned NaNoWriMo project, a major character in (completely unrequited) love bonds with the MC through a shared experience, and with another major character finds the closest thing to a best friend she’ll ever run into. Little things like that help define a love interest as a separate person, making them easier to believe in.

Also, don’t be afraid to be subtle with things—readers get it. XD Character romances are most fun to write and read when their personalities have chemistry. In a sense, it helps to write characters in love similarly to best friends who care deeply for each other. If it’s only their looks which seem to pull them together, than you’re right—things seem superficial. That’s, in my opinion, why love at first sight plotlines don’t seem to work—they don’t have any shared history, any knowledge of each other’s personalities, any… anything.

Anyway, I hope some of this helped. XD I’m no super-genius when it comes to romance writing, but I’m trying my best.

Make 'em real people doing real things.

Even the most lovestruck guy/gal needs to sleep and study and get up in the morning and go to the bathroom and play with the little brother and drive to go do some stupid errand somewhere.

Even "in love," people have their own real lives, their own personalities, their own dark secrets and insecurities and lusts and pains. A couple have to reveal their true, subconscious face to each other at somepoint. Sometimes they like what they see and connect, sometimes one person licks his/her lips andspiritually rapes or strangles the other.

Or maybe they won't connect at all, never looking beyond the skin or the sex. Sometimes love is unintentionally superficial.

Show your character couples that there's a real world within and outside of them, a real world that doesn't care about their superficial "I love you's." either they find the real world or the real world walks in on the happy couple unannounced one day.

Sorry for the rabbit trails, whatever. My advice is just not to focus on the love-y romance. Write a story about football or work or camping that just happens to have a romance, not the other way around. Make your lovers real, independent, boring people doing everyday stuff.

Thank you for all your wonderful help!