Tainted Soul pt.3

I had a serious case of Writer's Block so this is all I have for now. I will try my best to write more. If you could, please, give me opinions on what you think should happen next. Thank you! Bye!

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I brushed away a piece of red hair that clung to my sweat covered forehead. My yellow-green eyes were slanted and burning, the pain of unshed tears was almost unbearable today. I rarely ever thought about the skeletons, the memory only made me angry, but today is the most hated of all days to me.
My birthday, the day I was cursed with life. As soon as the clock strikes 6:24 I will be 11, and when the clock strikes 6:30 I will be free. That's right, 6:30 and I'm gone. No one will miss me. They won't even search for me!
"One less mouth to feed." That's what they'll say, but do i care? Hell no! I looked out of the window once again. There was no laughter, no yelling. The ice cream truck was long gone, the birds were silent, and the trees swayed angrily in the cold chill of the wind.
I laughed in pure delight.

The clock striked six and I got prepared for my escape. All my clothes were packed in 4 Walmart bags. After dinner I snuck some canned food, water, and a can opener into another bag. My adrenaline was pumping and my stomach was in knots. I laughed at myself. I had no friends to part with, no last goodbyes, no "You'll always be in my heart". No definitely none of that.
My room was only two stories off the ground, there was a vine ladder leaning on the edge of the building. I figured I could climb down that. I dropped my clothes and food down first, there was no way I could climb down holding all those bags. The way down was not near a scary as i thought it would be. It was actually terribly easy, which kinda pissed me off a bit.
"Where are the guard dogs, the spotlights? The 'Halt! We have you surrounded!'?" I shook my head as my feet met grass. Way to easy.

I looked up at the sky, the moon seemed brighter. I was frozen in awe for a moment. For a measly moment I was stuck looking up at the moon and the stars.The stars twinkled so vividly, and the moon seemed to protect them in her glow. Just for a moment, I was at peace. I shook myself out of my daze, the peace was a little to much to handle today. I don't know why I don't like things to be nice, happy, beautiful, or at peace. I want things to be as horrible, corrupted, and disgusting as me. That way, I guess, I could not feel as abnormal. When things are all 'Kissy Kissy Goo Goo' or 'Fuzzy Wuzzy Lumpkins' I truthfully want to kill myself. How dare they be happy when I'm dying on the inside?

Sorry about the weird way it's posted. It copied and pasted that way I suppose.

this is really good as i ve said before and i can tell that you really know your character inside out. once again you've portrayed the emotions of your character very well. the story itself is amazing but i think that you need to make sure that you proofread because there were a few sentences and words that were misspelt or didn't sound right.

as far as idead for what should happen next go, i dont have any suggestions simply because i think that whatever i come up with, you could do better. you know your characters and the outline of the story and your doing a great job! well done and keep writing!


Afeefah

Hey! Me again. Saw this and thought I'd read and review, if you don't mind. =D
Same as last time, I'll quote and either change in bold right in there, or explain beneath it what to do.

"One less mouth to feed." That's what they'll say, but do I care?

All my clothes were packed in 4 Walmart bags.

I'd change the "4" to "four". its more professional looking.
I think I read somewhere that if a number is 99 or less, than you should always write it out. (Haha, ahh, I'm such a hypocrite...)

The way down was not near a scary as I thought it would be.

Not very much to correct in this piece that I saw.
Good job! Really. The whole story is in his point of view so well. Its almost not even a story, but a Rayne's mind thoughts while he's doing what he's doing.
Real, super good job.

Firstly, I have not much to say except for the tense. Again, you are mixing the past tense with the present tense. Try to use on tense though it will be tricky because you included your own thoughts to the story. Furthermore, at the end of the paragraph, you showed that the character does not like nice or happy stuff.

Try to tell it by the moon and the stars you had written. After he felt peace, try to write that he clenched his fist or shut his eyes tight or tell that he murmured curses to the moon. That way the reader can understand that he hates the moon or the peace that surrounds him.