Morning Tide

Enduring slander by peers
As it endures
Tripping over lips
As smooth as 24/7 sexual activity
With the mailman

Hug and kisses
And pen marks
Battle each other to the fighting day
Armageddon twisting screws
Criss-crossing in my eyes
Taking in the hymnals
And the ethereal design

House flies making loop-de-loops
Round the head of soldiers
With .45 magnums
As the schoolboy whispers
Rumors about slander
Slander by my peers

A Canadian hat ruins the effect
Planning to finish them off
A New Jersey accent sifting through the emblems of speech
The Vodka floats about the air
Like balloons
Like carbon monoxide

Take my hand
And I’ll lead you to my Never World
Painting colors, black and white
Fishhook caught
Line pulled tight
This is my delight

In morning tide

I thought this was cool. Good decription and metaphors. Kind of jumpy but it's a good style. I enjoyed this. Great job!

You used alot of description and imagery here, which was good. But I never got a clear idea of what you were talking about, so I never really had any one thing to focus on.