Young Writers Society

Ashes of my heart,
Grow a new love,
See me through the end,
See me for me.
Ashes of my heart,
Scatter a path,
To my affection.
Open a new door,
For everyday.
Come, come into this place,
See a new way.
Come down to broken heartache,
Come down to me.
See a new way a new door,
Oh, wont you please?
Leave me in this broken wilderness,
Leave me for the solitude.
Leave me in solid chords.
Ashes of my heart,
Just drift away,
Caress the wind,
Make a new day.
Broken heartache!
Just seems to
Go. (Oh oh, oh oh yeah-ah-yeah yeah) My broken heartache.

wisemann210 wrote:Ashes of my heart, I like that, pretty much introduces the main focus for your song
Grow a new love,
See me through the end
See me for me.
Ashes of my heart, reminds us of the focus, practically summarises
Scatter a path,
To my affection.
Open a new door,
For everyday.
Come, come into this place, no idea why, but I like this line alot
See a new way.
Come down to broken heartache,
Come down to me.
See a new way a new door,
Oh, wont you please?
Leave me in this broken wilderness,
Leave me for the solitude.
Leave me in solid chords. I don't like those three lines for some reason although thats the style I do lyrics in
Ashes of my heart,
Just drift away,
Caress the wind, I suggest you change caress, it doesn't fit with 'just drift away'. It's two different movements
Make a new day.
Broken heartache!
Just seems to
Go. (Oh oh, oh oh yeah-ah-yeah yeah) My broken heartache.

Most of these lyric lines sound very cliche when joined together. It's the classic love story. Broken heart trying to mend. I can't really imagine this being sung, something about it just doesn't sit right with me. But that is just me and I am not perfect at deconstructing a song properly. This is just what I found in it.

That was really great, I loved it : )

JonboY³! Juniper here.

So, right, I've seen this song before and I believe I gave you my thoughts on it before? Yes/No? Not sure. Either way, I'm going to jump in and say some things... should be sort of easy since I know how it's supposed to be sang.

Come, come into this place,

This line is the hardest to sing. I don't know if that's just because "come" is a ridiculous word to make me pronounce or something or whatever, but, the repetition makes the line long, and when I get to this point, I have to start the song all over because I can never find a good way to make it past that point without butchering the rhythm.

Come down to broken heartache,

Same thing here! Come is such an annoying word... I always stumble over it when I sing. I can say it fine when I take or whatever, but singing it-- especially in this song-- is jusy difficult.

Leave me in this broken wilderness

No matter how hard I try, I always, always, always butcher this line too. I change the rhythm here some how... it's just, I don't know? Maybe too many syllables for the song?


(Don't even get me started on the ending. )


I do like the song alot, though. It's definitely one of my favorite pieces by you.


Juniper