unseen

What is lost that cant be found?
What is found that can't be tamed?
Sometimes tamed but never controlled?
Pumping fiercely with no name?


What may shed the brightest light?
Breaking through the dark of night.
Sending beacons full of hope
For all who've lost their way.


No, this thing cannot be seen.
No, this thing cannot be heard.
You feel it deep inside you're bones,
Familiar though it never occurred.


Befriending those with wrong of soul,
It does not judge,
Love is not cold.

This is a very sweet concept, and there's only one little thing I have a problem with.

Love is Love to a heart that is pure.
Leading the way when you're not sure.
Never secure always roaming free.

This doesn't flow very well, especially the last line.
You might want to rethink that, and if you didn't, "never secure" would have a semicolon after it.
But the rest of the poem had good rythmn, and it was very well done.


-Rachel

i agree with quietloud798..... i also like how you dont say out right that this is about love right at the beginning. it gives the read something to look forward to instead of saying something like "Love is strong Blah blah blah" it adds something extra to the poem. and it makes the reader acctually think instead of it giving them nothing to think about and it isnt a mind numbing boring thing. its interesting and grabs your attention

Yeah, but I need help because I'm not sure if i should just leave the
"love is love to a heart that is pure" part out or find something else to fit in with it.
If any of you have any ideas about what I should do please tell me because im really lost right now. Thanks to all ^^