9/11 Remember

This is a poem I wrote on September 11th, 2008 in remembrance of September 11th, 2001



9/11, Remember

Remember the plane, crashing in

Remember the crumbling towers and the din

Remember the confusion, the screams of the lost

Remember the pain, the sorrow, the loss

Remember the prayers of the families, the friends

As loved one's lives fell apart, and came to an end

Remember the heartbreak when only one hand wore a ring

Remember the sound of the funeral bell's ding

Remember the tears of the entire nation

As the towers fell from their high elevation

Remember the horrors, the injuries

Remember the quiet inquires

Remember the answers of those questions

Remember the strangers who died without a mention

But also remember the heroes, the brave

Remember the lives that they did save

Remember the miracles that helped some survive

Remember the prayers that kept them alive

Remember the bad but also the good

Remember the people who did what they could

Remember, remember, don't forget

Remember September Eleventh, and the fears that were met.



Feel free to review!



~time8keeper

I think the only little things I found that I thought was wrong were these; how you started every single sentence with "remember" and the imagery.

OK, I know it is in the title and all, but still; a little variation in beginning the lines is always good to keep the reader captivated, and it makes the poem itself look a bit better at first glance, too.

Also, I would look at putting more imagery in there; like, instead of "her hair was brown, wavy and pretty", you could do "the gentle chocolate river flowed down her back." Cheesy, I know, but it's an example all the same ^^

I love your topic. Absolutely. Love. It.

Write on!

~April

Thanks for the reviews! Yeah, I see what you're saying about the all the 'remembers.' When I wrote this that was the general rhythm of the poem: for 'remember' to be at the start of each line and then two lines starting with 'as'. But it is a bit much Thanks for the critiques! I need them and they help!

~time8keeper