Listen

Listen

I am growing closer.
My end is near.
I cannot cope anymore.
Someone save me. Please?

Nobody answers...

My life is worthless.
No-one would ever care about me.
What is a teenage life worth?
Nothing.

That is all they say.

If no-one bursts this bubble
That i seem to be trapped in...

Well it's self explanitory.

No-one will listen.

Hello!

I am growing closer.
My end is near.
I cannot cope anymore.
Someone save me. Please?
I think this is a fairly weak way to open a poem; it's very vague and while the speaker says they 'cannot cope' they give the reader no reason why their life is so hard, or whatever, which makes it hard for me to care.
Nobody answers...
The ellipse here (which the '...') really doesn't do anything for the poem; why not just use a period?
My life is worthless.
No-one would ever care about me.
What is a teenage life worth?
Nothing.

That is all they say. Who are 'they'? Again, this is so vague that I find it hard to actually get invested in the poem.

If no-one bursts this bubble
That i seem to be trapped in...
Capitalize your I's, please.
I'm not sure I fully understand the bubble metaphor? It doesn't seem to fit with the theme of dark depression that you were going for.

Well it's self explanitory.
*self-explanatory; and, is it, though? Because I don't know what will happen...

No-one will listen.

As I mentioned above, I think, while having potential, right now the poem is a too vague. Right, okay, the speaker is sad/alone. But why and how and give examples and reasons or at least some pretty imagery to help the readers understand, please.

Obviously this poem is very personal, and it's a great start, but while I can see what you must be feeling, I can't feel it myself, which is really what poetry should do: make the reader feel how you want them to whether it's sad/happy/inspired/dark/angry etc. Which is why I'm going to link you to an article by Suzanne which hopefully will help you out more than I can.

Keep writing.
-Mars

hey if i were u i would ignore this other comment
i like how there are no reasons 4 things i mean come on if u explained everything what is there 4 the reader to think and imagine for themselves. reading poetry that explains everything is lazy i feel and a way to avoid truly trying to come to an understanding in ur mind and fully appreciate it!!!

i love it
it is very thought peovoking
and interperated differently by many people makes it appealing to a wider range of people.
i personally think this girl is a genius.
the way she writes is amazing!!
i feel as though she tries to reach out to many people on a personal level through many different aspects of the poem

well done!!
truly stunning!!!!!!!!!!

<3