Enchanting Smile.....

Smile

I walked beneath the starry sky,
Tears trickling down my eyes,
I'd never felt so sad before.
I sat under my favourite tree,
I always went there when I grieved.
But what I saw tonight was hard to believe!
A little face, two twinkling eyes,
A pair of wings and a beautiful smile.
I stared at her, she looked back at me,
With a smile so enchanting,
A smile I'd never seen.
And then she was gone,
Never did I see her again.
But the smile she gave me that day,
Still makes me feel happy and will never fade away.

Hi. Welcome to YWS!

This is a beautiful poem, and it flows very well. I love;
"A little face, two twinkling eyes,

A pair of wings and a beautiful smile."

and it ends nicely.

I'd make your I's capital, and say either "When I was aggrieved" or "when I grieved." I'd also put a hyphen between "tear" and "stained".

Hope this helps. Feel free to P.M me if you have any questions.

Jas

I'm a little lost! You mean to say you saw a fairy?! Well, that's what it seems like. Anyway, I think there are a few things you might wanna check:

saddy_smiley wrote:Smile

I walked beneath the starry sky, [starry sky, overused - perhaps improvement on imagery?]
tears trickling down my eyes, <- why not trickled instead so the verb tense is constant
I've never felt so sad before. <- a little too short, try adding "before"
I sat under my favorite tree,
I always go there when i am grieved. <- grammar check!
But what i saw there tonight was hard to believe! <- omit "there"
A little face, two twinkling eyes,
a pair of wings and a beautiful smile.
I stared at her, she looked back at me,
with a smile so enchanting,
A smile I've never seen.
And then she was gone,
Never did i see her again <- too long, try "never saw her again"
But that small smile made my tear stained face glad. <- consider revising, too long
The smile she gave me that day,
still makes me feel happy and will never fade away.

There was hardly any rhythm! Since this is lyric poetry, you might want to watch your syllables a bit more. Maybe you should consider splitting them into stanzas as well. There's a lot of corrections on punctuation and capitalization that i may have missed. Let's just rely on future reviews for that!

Anyway, your writing could really use a lot of work. Just keep writing! Practice makes perfect!