disease

Oh this disease,
This terrible disease!
I’m so difficult to please,
Yet so easily diseased!
I woke for work,
All dressed and perk,
When all of a sudden
I feigned my own coughing!
I was not sick,
I knew very well,
Yet I felt an itch,
To act not well.
I’d go to doctors,
They’d all speak alike,
“It’s the work you abhor,
And you’re faking this…right?”
I refused to concur
With their obvious blunders,
And fired each one
For a second opinion.
I finally found
A doc in a town
Who diagnosed with certainty
My ever-painful malady.
He looked at me once,
Then said rather blunt,
That Procrastination's
A lasting sensation
With acid refluxation,
And wild imagination.”

Ahaha wow this was hilarious.
I loved it.
The first four lines were a bit confusing, where you say,
"I'm so difficult to please,
"Yet so easily diseased!"
I don't really get why thats in there, but the rest is great so I wouldn't worry about it.
Anyway, this was brilliant and relateable, and also very funny.
Awesome poem, and keep it up.

stagnanturanium wrote:Oh this disease,
This terrible disease!
I’m so difficult to please,
Yet so easily diseased!

The second line has nothing to do with the three around it, from the reader's viewpoint. Why is it even there? Get rid of it.

I woke for work,
All dressed and perk,
When all of a sudden
I feigned my own coughing!
I was not sick,
I knew very well,
Yet I felt an itch,
To act not well.

The rhyme is killing you here. It's not even the cutesy type of writers-for-children rhyme in which it actually flows from one line to the next, but rather the type where it's obvious that you just came up with simple words (work/perk, well/well) and slapped them together. Not working. In addition, the rhyme isn't even consistent in the above quoted piece, so make it consistent or drop it.

I’d go to doctors,
They’d all speak alike,
“It’s the work you abhor,
And you’re faking this…right?”
I refused to concur
With their obvious blunders,
And fired each one
For a second opinion

You don't fire doctors unless you're their supervisor, which you haven't stated anywhere nor hinted as such. Also, the "...right" is painful as it's clear you threw that in simply to rhyme. Take it out and replace it with a better rhyming word.

I finally found
A doc in a town
Who diagnosed with certainty
My ever-painful malady.
He looked at me once,
Then said rather blunt,
That Procrastination's
A lasting sensation
With acid refluxation,
And wild imagination.”

Kind of clever at the end, but we already knew that. You're not actually telling us something funny that we had missed before or making something funnier, you just...reiterate and then end shallowly.

Why are the first words of every line capitalized? I would not do this, but as this is a debatable subject, feel free to do capitalization as you like - however, do realize that it cuts off the flow of every preceding line like a clogged artery.

Overall, this was a poem you probably came up with in five seconds and doesn't help to improve your literary talent or understanding, nor that of anyone else. Good for a momentary distraction, though. But I'm sure you knew that when you wrote it.

Hope that helped.