Ignorance is Bliss : Prologue

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Okay, I just wanted to say that this is the first ever third-person point of view I've ever written because I've spent so much time on Kiss of Fate and I'm not all that great at prologues either. So please don't hold much of this against me. I had to try or I'd never really learn how to do it.

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Prologue

“Her memories are gone,” the doctor told him quietly. “Well, her short term memories anyway. She can remember her name and things like that, but as for her high school years and forward…” he trailed off.
“She doesn’t remember them,” the nurse beside the doctor supplied.
“So what exactly does that mean?” Asher asked skeptically.
“She thinks she’s twelve,” the nurse said.
“While questioning her, we asked her what her age was and that’s what she told us. She doesn’t remember her high school years, husband, her daughter, or many of her friends that she acquired during that time.”
He started to nod, but stopped himself. “Husband and daughter?” he asked, puzzled.
The doctor opened the file in his hand. “According to her medical records she had a daughter on December twenty-fourth of…” he paused as he read, “two thousand and eight.” He paused and read some more. “It also says that she has been attending therapy since the death of her husband four months previous to her daughter’s birth.”
“What happened to her daughter?” Asher asked with a frown.
The doctor read the file a little more. “She was given up for adoption. Her name is Raven. Here is a picture of her.” He handed Asher the photo of the sleeping girl as a newborn. To Asher she looked so much like Bliss that it pained him to keep looking at her. He hastily handed the picture back to the doctor.
“Do they know if she has a new foster family?”
“That is something you’ll have to ask the adoption agency.”
“Can Bliss go home now?” Asher asked impatiently.
“I think it’ll be okay for her to go home now. We’ve done all we can for her here really. All that we can really hope for is that her memories return to her, though it is very unlikely. You may have to build them for her, tell her things of her past. And hope that by some miracle she begins to remember.”
Asher nodded. He never thought seeing Bliss again would mean that he had to take care of her, take her home with him after a car crash that caused her to lose her memories.
As Asher started for the room Bliss was in the doctor stopped him. “We would like you to stay in the area if possible so we can watch her, though, because of the plastic surgery to her face and most of the badly damaged areas to the rest of her body, but there are still some things that we have to watch out for. Unless it is too much of a problem for you to stay here?” He made the last sentence a question.
“I really have to get back to Orlando. Is there any way that you could possibly call another doctor there that can give her the treatments?”
“Of course,” the doctor said. “When do you think you’ll be back in Orlando?”
“I plan on leaving tomorrow afternoon. I’ve got to get her things packed and get another plane ticket for her.”
“Of course,” the doctor said again. “You may go see her now.”
Asher didn’t waste any time walking in her room. She was sleeping when he was finally at her side. “Oh, Bliss,” he whispered to the sleeping nineteen-year-old lying in the bed. “I’m so sorry this happened to you. I wish I’d been here to stop it—change it, maybe.”
“I don’t think you could have really changed it, Asher,” a voice said behind him.
Asher turned around abruptly and realized that it was Danni, Bliss’s best friend. “I should have known you would have been here,” he said shortly.
“I’d actually come to take her home, but the kind nurse at the nurses’ station said someone already came. I couldn’t help but wonder who it was. I never expected it to be you since no one has really seen or heard from you in two years,” she said dully.
“I’ve been trying to get in touch with her, but she refused to answer any of my calls or anything.”
“You should have known she would,” she said with a bored tone, almost like talking to him wasn’t worth any of her time.
“How was I supposed to know?”
“She gave you a letter when you graduated, didn’t she? She told you not to try and make any contact with her,” she said. “When you left, I think that was the best thing for her. She was finally able to live a life.” She smiled faintly. “She was able to be happy—even though it was for a short while.”
“How can you think all of this is good?”
She looked at him, her eyes filling with tears before she wiped them away. “I don’t think this is good—not for someone like her. But I can’t help but think that maybe this is God’s way of saying that she needs to start over from her age of twelve.”
Asher nodded. It was all he could do. Danni had always been the overly-religious type, but rarely showed it. There was no point in arguing with her either. If she believed this was God’s way of saying that Bliss needed to start her life over from the age twelve, then he would change his ways and be part of that new life—for good. Maybe he would even find her little girl. Maybe they could also have a child of their own. He smiled at that thought. It reminded him of old times when they talked about having children before she decided she didn’t want any. It was also why it had taken aback when he found out she had a husband and was a mother. He remembered when she said she didn’t want to be anyone’s wife, either.
“Would you mind moving over so I can see my best friend?” Danni asked impatiently.
Asher glared at her but moved over without a word. He wondered if she would tell him who her husband was. No best way to find out other than to ask. But before he could, another person walked in. He made no move to say anything to Asher, but moved quickly to Danni’s side.

As she stood by Bliss’s side with Cole to her right with his arm around her, her eyes suddenly filled with tears again and this time she didn’t wipe them away. Her best friend was lying there and she couldn’t help but feel as though some of it were her fault. She didn’t have to let her go home that night, knowing it was the anniversary of her husband’s death. She could have talked Bliss into staying, come up with some random thing for her and Cole to do so Bliss would have to stay the night and watch Danni’s two-year-old son, Alex.
“Where is Alex?” Danni asked Cole quietly, her voice cracking.
“He’s with your mother,” he said softly.
Danni turned toward Asher after she wiped her eyes again. “I want her to stay with me. Cole and I are probably the only one’s she is going to remember and her home is here. Everything that belongs to her is here.”
“I want to take her back to Orlando with me,” he said stubbornly.
“This is not an issue, Asher. We are taking her home with us.”
“You are not—“
“Don’t tell my wife what she is and isn’t doing. We can have the police here in a second and tell them that some stranger is trying to kidnap our friend,” Cole interrupted angrily.
Asher smirked. “You don’t know who I am, do you?”
“It’s best you don’t remind him who you are, either,” Danni said. “She’s going home with us. Don’t make this difficult.”
She hoped Asher would understand why she thought it was best Bliss go home with them. Danni and Cole were in her life before she was even twelve-years-old—they’ve been like family to her since they were in kindergarten. She would know them. She needed to be with people she remembered so she would feel safe and comfortable.
“I’m scared you’ll keep me from her,” he said quietly.
“Asher, I would never do a thing like that.”
“I have to be in Orlando and I have to leave tomorrow. That is why I want her with me.” He looked resigned, almost defeated, but she knew that was just an act. Asher never gave up when it came to something he wanted and she didn’t think he would start now.
Danni looked at Cole. “Would you mind giving us a moment alone?” she asked her husband.
At first he looked as though he was going to argue, but then he leaned over and kissed his wife’s forehead and walked out of the room, glaring at Asher as he passed.
“Asher,” she said after a long, awkward moment, “I want you to know that I’ve never liked you. I’m not going to lie to you and say that I did. And no, I don’t like the fact that you want to be in her life again after you left, but if she decides to talk to you, then that is her decision.” He looked up at her and then looked down. “Why did you leave right after you graduated, anyway? And why did you leave with another girl?” she asked shortly.
He sighed with frustration. “I’m not explaining my decisions to you, Danni.” He ran his hands through his short, blonde hair. “I’ll call my boss and ask him if there’s some kind of work I could do here until she’s better.”
“She might not get better, Asher.”
“If she doesn’t then I’ll find another job here—even a house. Bliss and I could live together.”
“Asher, it might not ever be that simple,” she said matter-of-factly, even though it hurt her to say it.
“Just let me try it. Let me have some hope that I can start over with her.” It sounded like he was pleading, and maybe, in some ways, he was.
Danni sighed, seeing that he wasn’t going to leave it alone unless she made some kind of compromise with him. “Only if you agree to let me take her home with me. And don’t fill her head with things that aren’t true, either. I’ll know if you do.”
“Fine,” he said. He glanced at Bliss and without another word he walked out of the room. Danni wondered if there was something else she could have said. Maybe she should have put up a better argument so he wouldn’t want to be in Bliss’s life again.
She sighed. It didn’t matter what she did. He wouldn’t have backed down and she wasn’t in the mood to deal with him longer than she had to. Though, she did just allow him back into her best friend’s life, didn’t she?
She walked to the bedside once more and placed her hand over Bliss’s. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered softly, “for everything.”
Ever since you went away, my heart has never beat the same and all that I can do is just laugh.




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i kind of liked it but exactly how did she lose her memorys? but its still good

keep writing!




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Hey!

I very much liked this, Suzie. You told us just enough through the medical staff, and Asher and Danni, and even though I don't know how Bliss lost her memories or what happened between her and Asher yet, that's what will keep me reading.

Also because it's such an interesting idea.

I do think you should read this over a couple more times; I know this has been edited but it still sounded stiff in some places, to me. So go over it and maybe read it out loud so you can hear how it sounds.

I also think this seems like more of first chapter than a prologue. Of course it's you decision, but prologues typically dole out all the necessary background information, or they're flashbacks or looks into the future or something. But in your piece, things happen and the story is actually set up, so...again, it's your decision, but I think this should be a first chapter.

Sorry for the unhelpful critique but I do like this a lot; keep writing!
-Mars
'life tastes sweeter when it's wrapped in poetry'
-the wombats


critiques // nano




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Hey Suzie! I'm Stella!

I. NITPICKS

“Do they know if she has a new foster family?”


If she was put up for adoption, why would she be with a foster family?

been the overly-religious type, but rarely showed it.


If you were overly religious, it would show. Cut the "overly", I think.


II. ALL THE TEENAGE PREGNANCIES

Seriously, there's two of them here? I don't know, maybe they're more common where you are, but here they're very unusual... so is it not a bit strange that both Danni and Bliss have children by now, even though Bliss is only nineteen...?

Also, why not leave straight after graduation? Isn't that what a lot of people do?

III. OVERALL

Reminds me of a book I read called "Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac." You should read it, it's really good- by Gabrielle Zevin.

Overall, this was pretty good, not too bad at all!

Hope I helped, drop me a note if you need anything!

-Stella.
"Stella. You were in my dream the other night. And everyone called you Princess." -Lauren2010



My tongue must tell the anger of my heart, or else my heart, concealing it, will break...
— Katherine, The Taming of the Shrew