Okay, this is a new idea that I want to continue. I wasn't sure which forum to post it in because it incorporates a lot of genres but there is romance so I shall put it here. I've been through so many drafts for this first chapter and it's still not finished but I just want to know if it's good so far. All reviews and critiques are welcomed and appreciated. Thanks.
Metamorphosis
By Angel of Death
Chapter 1: Part 1
It had rained that day. Which was odd, because for the past couple of months, the weather had mirrored my mood. Sunny, cool, and easy. It was only ironic that the cold wet droplets would make my happiness morph into sorrow.
I had passed through the school day without much thought. Usually, I was bubbly and talkative. Each class would not be absent of my voice and all of my teachers would never miss their chance to loathe my innocent cockiness. But today, felt different. It was as if I left the house that morning without putting myself on.
Even my friends seemed to notice my edginess.
Jackie sat across from me, her usual bottle of water and apple in hand. Her large green eyes were filled to the brim with concern as she stared at me.
"Mar, I hate seeing you this way," she said, twisting the cap off of her drink.
"Please...I don't want to talk about it," That came out harsher than I intended. Jackie looked down, her cheeks flushing. I wanted to apologize but that was one thing that I liked about her. She knew how to let things go.
I felt cold inside. It was as if my veins were frozen solid. To make things worse, I could feel everyone at the table looking at me. Their gazes were like hot stones being launched at my head. I squirmed in my seat, biting my bottom lip, trying to keep from falling out. My stomach churned and each time I exhaled, my lungs felt like they were collapsing in my chest.
As I sat there, emerged in an inner turmoil, the world continued to breathe around me.
But I couldn't hear anything but the rain. It fell to the ground in endless gray torrents, engulfing every conversation, every footstep across the linoleum floor. The usual clamor of Alliance High sounded like static and I'd give anything to hear it clearly again, but the weather was relentless. It wouldn't let me have one ray of normality.
"Hey Mar!" I looked up to find Eric and the gang, heading towards the table. A playful grin was pasted under his unruly red curls.
"Hey," I muttered, sighing.
I wasn't in the mood for any of his games today. Eric had always been my partner in crime. We had most of our classes together and it was always fun playing pranks on the teachers and messing with the few freshmen that were scattered in the back. His expression soon changed in to one of pure confusion, as he and his buddies sat down.
"Did the cat eat your tongue are something, Katic?"
"Yeah, sure."
"I wonder what's wrong with her?" one of them asked. It was Randall. I noticed him from Music. I hardly ever talked to him but he was a nice guy and his face was the only one that wasn't painted with mock concern. Eric shrugged and then that look of puzzlement was engulfed by a familiar teasing smile.
"Maybe it's PMS," he joked.
A couple of the guys joined in on the laughter, high-fiving him as if what he said was truly genius. My cheeks burned. I wished that that comment was true. It was far better than what was really bothering me. I turned to look out the window, watching the rain roll down the glass, like forgotten tears. Everything looked cloudy and distant, as if the world I knew had packed up and left long ago.
Closing my eyes, I clutched my hair in my hands and continued to take deep breaths. It was the only thing I could do to keep from going into shock. If I relaxed for one second...
The laughter grew louder and I could tell that one of the guys had made another totally stupid comment for Eric's loud amused bark interrupted my thoughts.
“Knock it off,” a firm voice said. I knew that sound anywhere. It broke through the gloomy silence, sounding like a thunderclap just before a storm. Lucas. I looked up at him, watching as he glared at the guys. They looked nervously down at the table, the joke seeming to be consumed by their apparent fear.
Despite the pain hidden in my soul, I felt my lips pulling up at the corners. As Lucas sat down beside me, his tray of food in hand, relief rushed through my veins. But that relative comfort provided by my boyfriend's presence, only lasted a moment.
The dream that I had tried to forget, pushed past the barrier I've worked hard to create. It flashed before my eyes, sending shivers down my spine. I tried not to go to sleep last night. Somehow, I knew that when I closed my eyes, I would succumb to something bad. Something that would have my heart beating rapidly. Something that would change my life forever. And I was right. I could hear the tires skidding across the blacktop attuned with the sirens as they got closer and closer....
I hadn't realized I was shaking until Lucas placed his hand on my shoulder.
"You okay, Mars?" he asked.
“Yeah, I'm fine.” I lied, my voice quivering. This was like the millionth time I said these three words. And he knew as well as I knew that no matter how many times I said them, they weren't true. But I couldn't tell him that I had a dream that he was going to die.
I couldn't tell him that he was going to get hit by a truck.
Lucas looked at me, his deep blue eyes smoldering.
“It's the rain,” I finally said.
“What about it?”
“I don't know. Its there. I'm not used to it, I guess.”
He nodded his head and then focused on his lunch. I looked over at his tray, not really surprised by the amount of food that he had. Not only did he have a hamburger but he also had a small bowl of mashed potatoes, a pudding cup, and a slice of pizza. It amazed me how much guys could eat in one sitting, but I guess athletes needed a lot of food.
Lucas was a football player. He was probably the best on the entire team, but that wasn't surprising, considering that he was built like one of those wrestlers you see on TV.
His muscles were big and burly and if anyone didn't know him like I did, they would be intimidated by his ripped body. Guys like Eric and company were especially intimidated. It still amused me whenever they couldn't form coherent sentences around him. Despite his looks and his reputation for shutting people up when he walked into a room, I knew he was a teddy bear. He knew how to make you laugh, he was a really good listener and the thought of losing him...
I blinked back a couple of tears. This just wasn't right. What was the point of having this power if I could do nothing to prevent what was going to happen? And even if I tried to keep Lucas off the road as much as possible, he could always get hurt some other way. At least it wouldn't involve his body being smashed under a steering wheel. I wrapped my arms around my torso and bit my lip harder, hating myself and this power. I was like a bad omen. Everyone I loved, died. First it was my grandmother and now it was going to be him.
I had the urge to reach out and touch him. I needed to feel his skin on mine, feel his breath comb through my hair. I wanted to hear his heart beat. But I was at the end of my emotional rope. One touch could send me over the edge.
I watched him as he ate, taking in his long lashes and curly hair that fell to his shoulder. He bought his pizza to his lips and took a large bite, nodding. Carmen and Ricardo were sitting around us and they were talking about something, smiles on their faces. I hadn't even heard them sit down. Jackie was the only one who wasn't happy. She was picking at the skin of her apple, seeming to be in her own little world.
Lucas turned to look at me. A piece of pepperoni was hanging out of his mouth and sauce was on his cheek. My eyes betrayed me and let a solitary tear slide down my cheek. He looked down at the place where my tray should have been and then met my gaze once more.
“You're not hungry?” he asked.
“No.”
That was another lie. I was hungry, in fact I was starving. I just thought that if I ate anything, it would be chucked back up. So I avoided lunch, ignoring the growls in my stomach until they faded into the background.
“Eat,” he ordered, pushing his tray towards me.
There was hardly anything left but half of his hamburger and the untouched pudding. I shook my head, which made his eyes turn a darker shade.
"I am not Jackie, Marsa. I'm not letting this one go. Something is wrong and you need to tell me what it is, so I can help you."
"I wish I could but..." The truth is I can't tell anyone about my gift. Before my grandmother died, I had made a promise to her that I would not tell a soul. And even if I did decide to share the only secret that I possessed with Lucas, what good would it do him? He was still going to...
Even thinking the word was hard.
I placed my head in my hands and let the tears fall freely. They were hot and salty now as they caressed my lips. Lucas began to rub my back, which made everything worse. My head began to spin and it seemed like my heart was in my throat for it was getting harder and harder to breathe.
People always said that saying goodbye to someone you really loved was the hardest thing to do. But I never got to say goodbye to my grandmother. I never got to hold her hand as she drifted off into that unknown world. I would give anything to see her face again, to say goodbye. To me, saying goodbye was a lot easier than letting someone go without hearing their voice or feeling their skin or seeing their face for one last time. And that was why I wrapped my arms around Lucas' waist, pulling him closer to me, until I could feel his chest moving up and down. I took in his warmth, the smell of his cologne. These were the tiny things that I hadn't savored in the past. My tears came easier now. They stained his shirt, but I didn't care. All I wanted to do was hold him until this nightmare was over, until he was safe from any harm. Soon, I couldn't hear any laughter or hushed voices. The only sound that continued to haunt me, was the drip drip drip of the rain.
[spoiler]
It had rained that day. Which was odd, because for the past couple of months, the weather had mirrored my mood. Sunny, cool, and easy. It was only ironic that the cold wet droplets would make my happiness morph into sorrow.
I had passed through the school day without much thought. Usually, I was bubbly and talkative. Each class would not be absent of my voice and all of my teachers would never miss their chance to loathe my innocent cockiness. But today, felt different. It was as if I left the house that morning without putting myself on.
Even my friends seemed to notice my edginess.
Jackie sat across from me, her usual bottle of water and apple in hand. Her large green eyes were filled to the brim with concern as she stared at me.
"Mar, I hate seeing you this way," she said, twisting the cap off of her drink.
"I'm fine," That came out harsher than I intended. Jackie looked down, her cheeks flushing. I wanted to apologize but that was one thing that I liked about her. She knew how to let things go.
The world continued to breathe around me, as I sat there emerged in an inner turmoil. Girls were whispering about what boys they thought were hot and the jocks were talking animatedly about sports and cars. Music from headphones and a few fist pounding on tables- filled the air, mixing with the usual clamor of Alliance High.
"Hey Mar!" I looked up to find Eric and the gang, heading towards the table. He had the sleeves to his striped shirt rolled up, revealing his tanned arms. A playful grin was pasted under his unruly red curls. When our eyes met, I sighed and quickly looked away, not in the mood for any of his games.
Eric had always been my partner in crime. We had most of our classes together and it was always fun playing pranks on the teachers and messing with the few freshmen that were scattered in the back. His expression soon changed in to one of pure confusion, as he and his buddies sat down.
"I wonder what's wrong with her?" one of them asked. It was Randall. I noticed him from Music. I hardly ever talked to him but he was a nice guy and his face was the only one that wasn't painted with mock concern. Eric shrugged and then that look of puzzlement was engulfed by a familiar teasing smile.
"Maybe it's PMS," he joked.
A couple of the guys joined in on the laughter, high-fiving him as if what he said was truly genius. My cheeks burned, wishing that that comment was true. It was far better than what was really bothering me. I turned to look out the window, watching the rain roll down the glass, like forgotten tears. Everything looked gray and distant, as if the world I knew had packed up and left long ago.
Closing my eyes, I clutched my hair in my hands and started to take deep breaths. It was the only thing I could do, to keep from going into shock. If I relaxed for one second...
The laughter grew louder and I could tell that one of the guys had made another totally stupid comment for Eric's loud amused bark interuppted my thoughts.
“Knock it off,” a firm voice said. I knew that sound anywhere. It was Lucas. I looked up at him, watching as he glared at the guys. They looked nervously down at the table, the joke seeming to be consumed by their apparent fear.
For the first time that day, I felt my lips pulling up at the corners. As Lucas sat down beside me, his tray of food in hand, relief rushed through my veins. But that relative comfort provided by my boyfriend's presence, only lasted a moment.
The dream that I had tried to forget, pushed past the barrier I've worked hard to create. It flashed before my eyes, sending shivers down my spine. I tried not to go to sleep last night. Somehow, I knew that when I closed my eyes, I would succumb to something bad. Something that would have my heart beating rapidly. Something that
would change my life forever. And I was right. I could hear the tires skidding across the blacktop attuned with the sirens as they got closer and closer.
I hadn't realized I was shaking until Lucas placed his hand on my shoulder.
"You okay, Mars?" he asked.
“Yeah, I'm fine.” I lied, my voice quivering. This was like the millionth time I said these three words today. And he knew as well as I knew that no matter how many times I said them, they weren't true. But I couldn't tell him that I had a dream that he was going to die.
I couldn't tell him that he was going to get hit by a truck.
Lucas looked at me, his deep blue eyes smoldering.
“It's the rain,” I finally said.
“What about it?”
“I don't know. Its there. I'm not used to it, I guess.”
He nodded his head and then focused on his lunch. I looked over at his tray, not really surprised by the amount of food that he had. Not only did he have a hamburger but he also had a small bowl of mashed potatoes, a pudding cup, and a slice of pizza. It amazed me how much guys could eat in one sitting, but I guess athletes needed a lot of food.
Lucas was a football player. He was probably the best on the entire team, but that wasn't surprising, considering that he was built like one of those wrestlers you see on TV.
His muscles were big and burly and if anyone didn't know him like I did, they would be intimidated by his ripped body. Guys like Eric and company were especially intimidated. It still amused me whenever they couldn't form coherent sentences around him. Despite his looks and his reputation for shutting people up when he walked into a room, I knew he was a teddy bear. He knew how to make you laugh, he was a really good listener and the thought of losing him...
I blinked back a couple of tears. This just wasn't right. What was the point of having this power if I could do nothing to prevent what was going to happen? And even if I tried to keep Lucas off the road as much as possible, he could always get hurt some other way. At least it wouldn't involve his body being smashed under a steering wheel. I wrapped my arms around my torso and bit my lip, hating myself and this power. I was like a bad omen. Everyone I loved, died. First it was my grandmother and now it was him.
I watched him as he ate, taking in his long lashes and curly hair that fell to his shoulder. He bought his pizza to his lips and took a large bite, nodding. Carmen and Ricardo were sitting around us and they were talking about something, smiles on their faces. I hadn't even heard them sit down. Jackie was the only one who wasn't happy. She was picking at the skin of her apple, seeming to be in her own little world.
Lucas turned to look at me. A piece of pepperoni was hanging out of his mouth and sauce was on his cheek. My eyes betrayed me and let a solitary tear slide down my cheek. He looked down at the place where my tray should have been and then my gaze once more.
“You're not hungry?” he asked.
“No.”
That was another lie. I was hungry, in fact I was starving. I just thought that if I ate anything, it would be chucked back up. So I avoided lunch, ignoring the growls in my stomach until they faded into the background.
“Eat,” he ordered, pushing his tray towards me.
There was hardly anything left but half of his hamburger and the untouched pudding. I shook my head, which made his eyes turn a darker shade.
"I am not Jackie, Marsa. I'm not letting this one go. Something is wrong and you need to tell me what it is, so I can help you."
"I wish I could but..." The truth is I can't tell anyone about my gift. Before my grandmother died, I had made a promise to her that I would not tell a soul. And even if I did decide to share the only secret that I possessed with Lucas, what good would it do him? He was still going to die.
I placed my head in my hands and let the tears fall freely. They were hot and salty now as they caressed my lips. Lucas began to rub my back, which made everything worse. My head began to spin and it seemed like my heart was in my throat for it was getting harder and harder to breathe. Soon, I couldn't hear any laughter or hushed voices. The only sound that continued to haunt me, was the drip drip drip of the rain. It was falling in sheets now, becoming the soundtrack of my depression.[/spoiler]
I would try to work that out a little better, really capture Lucas' personality and let it shine through.