Contradicting Forces

4 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 12
I’m so cocked,
Crooked.
I’m so torn,
Tainted.
I’m so deadly,
Dreadful,
Disgusting.

I walk so gangly,
Gaunt.
I smile so faint,
Failure.
I live so pierced,
Painstakingly,
Pieced.

You’re so calm,
Consummate.
You’re so tall,
Taking.
You’re so desirable,
Delicate,
Datable.

You walk so graceful,
Guiltless.
You smile so finely,
Figuratively.
You live so perfect,
Peacefully,
Placed.

We’re so opposite,
Other.
We’re so truth,
Talking.
We’re so different,
Discrepant,
Dissimilar.

We don’t belong.
-SaraRose




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1016
Reviews 42
wow! i just love it! especially this stanza:

You walk so graceful,

Guiltless.

You smile so finely,

Figuratively.

You live so perfect,

Peacefully,

Placed.



opinionated with a tinge of sarcasm... although it makes more sense to me if "Peacefully placed" was just one line... :]
"Love is the black of cliches" ~bailecielo'09~




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1016
Reviews 42
on second thought, forget my suggestion... :] it'll totally ruin the rest of it :] LOVE it! :]
"Love is the black of cliches" ~bailecielo'09~




Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 1290
Reviews 7
I really love the poem.

Short concise lines, it doesn't always have to be long to be good.

I like the last stanza the most.


"We’re so opposite,

Other.

We’re so truth,

Talking.

We’re so different,

Discrepant,

Dissimilar."


Kudos to you (Y) Keep writing!
"A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life." Charles Darwin.



We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.
— Arthur O'Shaughnessy