Agh, we spend all the time learning how to PEE - yes, that's what it's like in London state schools (Point Example Explanation for reading assessments. I still don't get how the teachers manage to keep a straight face when telling us that our title today is 'how to PEE confidently' - I mean, they're English teachers, they must get it!).
Then at the end of last year our assessment was to write a short story, and we only had an hour so I realised I was going to have to spend loads of time planning. Did they give us planning time? No. We had this weird teacher-in-training who started off (durbrains that, of course, we all are) by giving us 6 setting to choose from; (or, if you really don't want to use any of those, you can make up your own) thus, I was no longer hopeful when it came to the next lesson for a lesson which would be constructive in any way. But we were learning - no, really - about figurative language. Yes. As in, similies, metaphors and personification. As in, "So, everybody, might anybody possibly be able to recall what a metaphor is after the last 9,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 lessons we've had on it?"
In short (ha ha) - my 'short' story was, well, not short. The reason for this was probably partly my inability to find a short way of saying anything and partly my absolute phobia of not pacing the story well - but also the fact I wasn't allowed to plan. The moral of this tale: if I'd planned the story in more detail I would have realised it would be too long and made it shorter instead of not being able to finish it.
Are the world's English departments mad? Or is it just ours?
