The Passcode

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I wrote this for a writing group I'm a part of, and I like it enough that I think I'm going to keep going with it. If it doesnt fit as well under "fantasy" as I thought it did, point me toward the right forum :D All questions, comments, suggestions are very welcome!

They had different levels of pass codes, the guards. Almost all of them could only open the slot in my door to give me my meals. Some could open the one-way window so that the researchers could observe me. Only a few had the proper pass code to let my teachers in to school me. Fewer still could unlock the supressors that were clamped upon my wrists and ankles. I needed the right pass code.

So, I waited, goddess though I was. My parents taught me patience, before the gaurds had them executed. Their crime, my birth, was punishable by death.

I stared at the white ceiling, silent, wondering as I often did why they had taken the risk. They’d managed to escape together, go underground. They could control their abilities and keep hidden. No one would have bothered them, noticed them, if they had just not brought me into the world. A baby god is the most dangerous sort. A baby god is too young to understand, too young to have any self control.

I clenched my fist, fire burning in my eyes and sending my blood racing. And, why hadn’t they fought to keep me? Why hadn’t they fought against this corrupt system? They had the strength

I had no clock, no window to give me the time of day. I jumped in surprise when I heard the north wall of my cell slide open. Sitting up, I stared at the glass, counted four shadowy figures behind it. I could only clearly see my own face reflected back at me, beautiful and flawless, soft brown hair tumbling in perfect curls around it. No one would have been able to tell that I was a dangerous goddess, kept in this cell for nearly seventeen years. I had the face of one of the models in the magazines they gave me on occasion, young and glamorous.

“More books, please,” I requested simply. I knew they could hear me, even though I could not hear them unless they wanted me to. “A newspaper would be welcome. Has my petition to go outside been heard? Granted?”

No answer. No surprise.

I turned my back to the glass and moved to my desk, stiff white gown rubbing roughly against my skin as I walked.

“A change of clothes, something smooth, would be nice,” I added quietly. They didn’t care.

Something was different that day, not just observations. The door slid open, hissing in its quiet, deadly way.

“…her story?”

Sound suddenly came from the hall, tickling at myt ears. I didn’t recognize that voice. Was this the one, the one with my pass to freedom?

“Her parents were Brigit, the healer, and Llyr, a water god. They’d managed to slip to the underground.”

This was the voice of one of the chief researchers, Giovanni. He knew everything about all the gods and goddesses in this cell block. He knew my parents personally, and personally oversaw their execution. I bit my tongue before I said something that would ruin this moment. If the voice I didn’t know was the one I needed, I certainly didn’t want to ruin this.

“I remember their escape,” the stranger said. I didn’t turn to glimpse his face. “It was at their first execution. The Specials thought them dead and took off the suppressors too soon. Brigit had both herself and Llyr healed in an instant. He flooded the execution chamber and drowned the gaurds. A lot of good men died that day.”

“Yes, yes,” the researcher agreed. “I couldn’t tell you why they decided to start a family, but they did. Our lovely Branwen didn’t have calm powers like her parents, though. She burned down a street block with her powerful flame, and her father couldn’t manage to keep it contained even with all his water power. And, to be completely honest, fire isn’t her only ability. Our suppressors have picked up such a wide varety as she’s grown that we haven’t been able to catalog her.

“Then that explains why she’s kept here,” the new one said. “Does she talk?”

“We’ve been schooling her since the day she arrived,” Giovanni answered. It was the truth. I heard them come a few steps closer, and a few more. “She loves to read. In fact, she is the only god we’ve captures so young who isn’t completely insane.”

“They’re insane because you’ve forced them to live in boxes,” I muttered. “Minimal human contact. No love. No hope. No dreams.”

The new man took a few steps closer. Giovanni didn’t stop him, although he should have. “Do you know why we had to contain them? They would destroy the world, little children with too much power.”

I lifted one wrist to show the sleek suppressor, hardly more than a silver band, then let my hand drop to the desk again. I saw no need to say more. He took the bait, moved a few steps closer.

“We didn’t have that solution until ten years ago,” the strange man said.

“You do now. The law must adapt to fit the times,” I said quietly, hardly more than a whisper. He had to move closer still.

“What was that?” he asked.

This was my chance. I leapt from my chair and snagged him, my arm tightly wound around his neck. I then saw him for the first time. He wasn’t much older than me. I realized then that it wasn’t likely that he had the pass code I needed. He was only a new researcher, fresh from college and foolish.

Too late to turn back. They’d kill me, or put me in an even worse place, for attacking a researcher. I made sure he knew I meant business, clenching his neck tightly, then eyed Giovanni.

“Let me past, or he dies.”

“The guards are already on their way, Branwen. Let him go. It will be better for you if you just let him go,” Giovanni said calmly. Still, he stepped out of my way. This college boy must have been important, then.

With speed I didn’t know I had, I flashed through the door and into the hall, still with this young man in tow. I did loosen my grip.

“I’m sorry it had to be like this,” I told him. “If you do what I say, if they do what I say, you’ll make it through.”

“You won’t make it out this way,” he said, gasping for air. “You need pass codes to get the suppressors off, pass codes for the doors, pass codes for the main gates.”

“You are my pass code,” I stated.

I twisted and turned, trying to place myself. It had been too long since they’d last let me out. I barely recognized anything in these bare hallways. They had gone dark, red lights flashing, alarms wailing, voices screaming about a dangerous god escaping.

“Left,” the strange man said.

His direction was as good as any. I took it, and walked directly into a guard. The guard was more dangerous. I dropped the researcher and dove atop this new threat before he could react, pinning him to the ground. Once again I went for the throat, my hand clamping down. I’d kill him.

He suddenly changed, his face becoming more rough, his hair untamed. He met my eyes.

“Golden goddess,” he managed to say. “Get offa me, or I’ll shift you off.”

A god! I stumbled back. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

“Thought so,” he stated. He changed back into the form of a guard, dusting himself off. He then handed me a pass card. “Use this. It should get your cuffs off.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled.

I glanced over my shoulder. The young researcher had remained where I tossed him, slumped against the wall and watching. He did not watch with wide-eyed terror, like most hostages. Instead, his eyes were filled with curiousity. I carefully slid the card through the scanners, and they fell off one by one, wrists, ankles, collar. I felt a sudden surge of power fill me, growing with every suppressor.

“Man, five cuffs You’ve gotta be something special, goddess. And, did you have a plan beyond grabbing a hostage and running?”

The shifty god was starting at me, but he definitely had an eye on my hostage. I simply shook my head.

“Well, I can’t just let them take a pretty powerful poppet like you back into the holding cells after you took a hostage and tried to kill a guard,” he said, laughter in his voice on that last comment. He held up a small wand. I knew what that was. It was the primary weapon that the guards used, perfect for containing gods, a zero-point energy stick.

“How did you…?” I asked.

“I had a plan,” he answered. “Come on, questions later. Take hold of him, like you had him before.”

I nodded, moved back to the scientist.

“Have you been zeroed out before?” Shifty asked me. I nodded. “You, doc?”

“No,” he said.

“It doesn’t hurt, if you hold still,” I told the researcher. My arm was around his neck again, but much more loosely. The shifty god held out the wand and froze us with no more warning than that.

It felt strange as he lifted us from the ground, walked with us floating along behind. The researcher had listened to my words. He held so perfectly still that it amazed me.

“I caught her, I caught her,” Shifty said as he passed by a couple of guards.

“Good job, Mitch,” one of the true guards said. I took it that “Mitch” was the one the shifting god had mimicked. “Keep your eyes out, though. There’s a shapeshifter on the loose, too.”

“Right-o ”

We moved on with no trouble at all. The guards understood that the only way to get the researcher from my grasp would be to turn off the zero-point energy. There was no way any of them wanted to take that risk. Before I knew it, we were in the back of a truck, the researcher and I, and the shapeshifter god was in the front, driving us with ease out of the base.

The guards would piece together what had happened pretty quickly, and I knew it. I didn’t care. I was free.
~Caitlyn })Fenix({ Wells~
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Wow, I really liked this. Heh - Gods :).


Hm, not too sure how to critique this I'm afraid. Urgh - I guess I'll have to leave that for others ;).
I wrote the above just for you.




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Gods are fun. I love mythology :)

Thanks for the reply!
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I like it, Lilac! But I don't have very many critiques, so I'll resort to structural and grammatical suggestions! :D
Lilac_Wood wrote: And, why hadn’t they fought to keep me? Why hadn’t they fought against this corrupt system? They had the strength.
should probably be changed to "Why hadn't they fought to keep me? And, why hadn't they fought against this corrupt system?", as there were no preceding questions.



Lilac_Wood wrote: I had the face of one of the models in the magazines they gave me on occasion, young and glamorous.

You probably don't need "of one of the models in the magazines they gave me on occasion". One, it's wordy, a whole bunch of prepositional phrases. Two, it's an insignificant detail. Are the magazines that important? Is the fact that she looks like a model important? You've already described her beauty. Unless you're using it as an aid in setting, you don't need it. We also know that she likes to read. She requests books and Giovanni mentions it.


Lilac_Wood wrote: He knew my parents personally, and personally oversaw their execution. I bit my tongue before I said something that would ruin this moment. If the voice I didn’t know was the one I needed, I certainly didn’t want to ruin this..
This what? Opportunity? (love the sentence I put in bold)

Lilac_Wood] He flooded the execution chamber and drowned the gaurds. A lot of good men died that day.”

“Yes, yes,” the researcher agreed. “I couldn’t tell you why they decided to start a family, but they did. Our lovely Branwen didn’t have calm powers like her parents, though..[/quote] 'Calm' implies nonthreatening. They were just discussing the fact that her father drowned many guards by instantly flooding the execution chamber. That's not calm. Maybe Branwen's powers are more unpredictable, less easily controlled? And I don't understand. If her mother was a healer, why did they try to kill her? Wouldn't that be a power they would want to have advantage of? Or are they just afraid of anyone with any kind of power? :?

[quote="Lilac_Wood wrote:
"In fact, she is the only god we’ve captures so young who isn’t completely insane.”.
I like this sentence, too. It implies that they consider her partially crazy. :)

[quote="Lilac_Wood] The new man took a few steps closer. Giovanni didn’t stop him, although he should have. “Do you know why we had to contain them? They would destroy the world, little children with too much power.”.[/quote] Who's speaking here? Giovanni?

Other than that, I don't have much to say, except I want to read more! :D
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Oh, I think it's the right forum. Fantasy/Science fiction, either or.
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I think its really good, and I can't really think of any critiques for this. I'll leave that up to others.
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I like this. At first I thought it odd that you called them gods as opposed to just some different species or mutation thereof. But, it is an interesting idea that gods, who are usually feared/worshipped and honored in a culture, should be locked up like a bunch of revolutionists. I'm curious to see if you are going to include some sort of a flashback or at least fill us in on how this switch came about. Very creative.
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I believe (even though you resort back to the plain old gods) that this could really be something.
I've seen alot of god films and I have to say they weren't very good, whereas with you, it may just work.
Although one of the things I'm not sure about is the title, 'Passcodes', because if you are going to make this into something, and the main character does escape, she wont be needing the pass codes anymore. Also if somebody saw a book called 'Passcodes', they would think of it as a spy novel, not as a fantasy god/goddess piece.

You always have to make sure that you check all the grammar. It's something that YOU must do. Because if you do end up giving this to a publisher and there are grammer mistakes, they normally just chuck it out. I do understand that as you write it yourself, it's extremely easy to miss an error every time you check. Mums and Dads are always good for checking grammar.

I'm sorry if you think I am being rather tough on you. I am just giving you criticism to prepare you for the future if you're pursuing a career in writing.
I don't have much time now, so for more insight into your story, please feel free to PM me.
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Thanks again all for comments and suggestions. Believe me when I say they're taken to heart :)

As a sort of answer to the "Passcode" title comment, this was written for a writing group in response to a prompt word. The word was "pass." Since that's how this part got started, that's just what I call it. The working title is more or less "That Goddes Story I started in response to the pass prompt" and that's just wordy. Passcode is just the neat and tidy working title.
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Apart from a few mistakes like: “Let me past, or he dies.” which should be "Let me pass, or he dies." I really liked this but I was a little confused about what happened to her parents. You mentioned their death and also said they went underground. Did they hide underground or does 'underground' mean they're dead?

Is there another part to this? I'd like to read it. :D
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The backstory isn't the clearest in the beginning, is it? I should either tune it up or set it up to be explained later...

Her parents first were caught and nearly executed. They managed to escape because her mother, Brigit, could heal at lightning spead, and she healed bother herself and Llyr. The two of them went into hiding after their scrape with death. When the narrator, who They call Branwen, was just a toddler she had no control over her power. She ended up started a street block on fire. The huge fire attracted attention, and while Llyr and Brigit could have run for it and probably escaped again, they stayed and tried to keep other people safe. They then were caught. Having killed a slew of guards in their first escape, and also having broken laws that forbid New Gods to have children, they were again executed. This time all precautions were taken, and they were killed. Branwen was then put into the holding facility she so nicely escaped in this blurb.

There is a little more to this, but it isn't a complete scene. I'll post it when it is. I also have another story blurb from the same setting, but an earlier time. I could actually post that now.
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OK I see now, it's just I got a little confused.
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This was really awesome. I'm not to big on gramatical and spelling errors, I'm sure you can fix any on your own. But I loved this topic. It's so awesome how you first of all put Gods with people. Second, you create your own Gods. I'm pretty sure at least, I haven't studied mythology. Then thridly, you put them in the future! Very awesome twist. I loved it. Are you gonna keep working on this. I think this would be an awesome story if you kept on going with this. Keep following on with what happens to you main character here. Awesome. Keep posting!
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