Wrong answer.

Thanks for all your lovely reviews everyone!
Its helped me out a lot

Just to answer a few queries:
The characters:
Micah Heston, nicknamed "Houston" by his ex-best friend, Colin.
Colin Beckley (Turned the tables on Micah. Violence begets violence)
Dean (Colin's current...buddy)
Raymond (The boy Micah used to hang out with. Raymond was sort of the 'boss' and together, Micah and him bullied Colin. Micah betrayed his friend because he liked this feeling of power, so he pleased Raymond by supporting him in bullying Colin)

Ahahaha, it seems I've forgotten to explain the significance of February 12th.
That's the date the second bit took place, where Colin was attacked by Micah and his new gang.

The ending of the first bit, were Micah mentions about understanding something,
It's describing how now he understood why Colin wanted revenge, why Colin was so angry, etc...In other words, he understands everything Colin went through, now that he's the victim. So I intended for both of them to make the reader feel angry and sympathetic, because both suffered under each other at some point in time XD

Did I mention I hated the starting? I normally don't use such ugly words, but I needed to be realistic. The F-word is where I draw the line though.

~Cookies for everyone!
Meep(:

Aahhh, I see now

Hmmm, okay I think that needs to be much clearer because when I read it, it sounded like the same situation reversed i.e. Micah turned the tables on Colin.

I wouldn't change the structure because I think the way you structured it works very well, but I think you just need to clarify somehow that the second part is a flash back and, chronologically, comes before the first part.

I would suggest just something small such as something Colin might say to Micah in the first part about how the tables have turned. Kind of a 'You're not so tough anymore, are you?' kind of comment (obviously not exactly that but you know what I mean)

You might have better ideas of how to do it though

Sofi.

Hi, Meep! I'm so so so sorry you've had to wait for this long! I feel so horrible. (I haven't read other people's comments, so there might be something that has been said.)

Edit: I only read your explanation post after I'd posted this review, so never mind the few things I said.

Micah heard the distinct crunch of his eighth pair of spectacles being stomped into yet another shapeless heap.

At the first read, this was slightly mumble jumble, but it shows us so much, I like it.

The hand from his shirt snaked around Micah’s throat

The hand from his shirt? I think you need a little rephrasing here. Also, I love the name Colin, but it sounds a bit funny on a bad guy.

“Why,” Colin responded in a falsely sweet tone dripping with venom.

Descriptive, but maybe a little too much. Save some for the later.

Micah could make out a faint shape hovering in front of him with his blurry vision.

This sounds a bit like the faint shape is hovering with his blurry vision, which it of course shouldn't be. Maybe move the blurry vision thing in the beginning? "With his blurry vision, Micah could..."

It disappeared and sudden hurtled itself into his face.

Either "All of a sudden" or "suddenly".

His face burned and stung

To me, this sounds a little weird. Maybe find a better word for "stung"?

“So what did that get, huh?”

Huh? indeedo. I don't get Colin's point. *is confused*

“Ten,” He wheezed, clutching his throat.

Uncapitalize "he".

“February twelfth’s your lucky daycomma Houston.”

I thought his name was Heston? Or is Houston some kind of a mock name?

Hell, that hurt like crap.

Eh. Could there be another way of saying this? It's your story and all, but this sounds a little comical, too.

“Wrong answer,”

Replace the comma with a period.

***


Meep! I pretty much enjoyed reading this, even if the subject was a little gloomy. You have your own way with words, which is always nice to witness. The thing I would've hoped learning more about was the change between Micah being the victim and then the bully himself. Not much is needed, because it would flat with ending, but just a little sentence or two explaining the time change, the reason of his own change, things like that. Otherwise you'll leave the reader confused, and you can't want that. Also, what happened to Colin? You have a few little threads that you still need to tie together.

Overall, I think this is a good piece, and because I tend to like dramatic endings, I liked this one, too. =) Don't stop writing, because that's something you can do.

Thanks for the read!


Demeter
xxx