I Had The World

If I ever owned the world,
it be just nonsense.

If I could be anyone else,
I'd be just myself.

Slightly quirky,
with a good chance of conversations that people never say.

Give them elegant names,
with personalities that don't ever die.

If I could ever tell you how much I loved you,
I would be lying.

Because you could never love me,
I'm just complete nonsense.

Hello there!

You did a nice job with this. I think the bold and italics really add to what you are trying to convey. I like how the beginning and end come connected to one another through 'nonsense'. It took me a few times through to figure out what was going on, and I'm still not quite sure on some parts, but I think that was your point. This was definitely unique. Nice job!

Your Writing pal,

Alyssa

Noncence freakling ruules. aWesomme. $$$$ WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! Keep it up or the ruler of the universe will be displeaced. we dont want Thaaaaaaat, do wee? Good. now keep beeen cannfusing caas I cant hold it any more. Uh all those errors are aggravating me. That can be your thing OK?

First of all, welcome to YWS. Now, onto the review.

[Summer.Breeze] wrote:If I could ever tell you how much I loved you,
I would be lying.

This is totally misunderstanding, what does it really means?

[Summer.Breeze] wrote:Because you could never love me,
I'm just complete nonsense.

What couldn't he love you? Because you're complete nonsense-okay. Then why would you lie about your feelings? I don't know.



I didn't find these bold and italics helpful. If you have something to say, say it with words. They didn't done much of a help cause they aren't really related to each other world, myself(so far so good) and elegant(totally awkward),lying and nonsense (what does this have to do with anything?).

In third stanza your verses are total contrast. The second one is too long. Actually, this whole stanza didn't do anything good to the poem, it's just complicated, full of strange, recited adjectives.

You need to be more precise about what you feel. This poem made me think, but in a bad way-it made me think about what kind of strange love is it and is that even love.

First of all, thanks for welcoming me and the good criticism.

Second, the poem is suppose to be complete nonsense, so that's why it doesn't really make sense.

I was bored in CP Biology, and I was feeling random.


But really, I appriciate all three of you commenting and for the critique!

^__^ Thanks alot.