The poem

Photographs placed in your mind from vivid imagery

Of all the poems you have read and remembered

Every time you think of a poem

Mine will come to mind



Just a quicky poem I have done, I think it is OK but critique anything, I do not mind.

iCarlyfan wrote:Photographs placed in your mind from vivid imagery

I read the rest of the poem and I don't know how this fits in the rest of this piece. This is nice, simple, but also complicated, full of motives that come when reading this, filled with "SOMETHING". Yeah, this is something.

iCarlyfan wrote:Of all the poems you have read and remembered

Okay...

iCarlyfan wrote:Every time you think of a poem

...

iCarlyfan wrote:Mine will come to mind

Yes, it will. What you need here is punctuation:

. or maybe : (I'm not sure)
,
,
.
Is this a metaphor? I mean, it has to be, but it also has to be a simple thought-mind trick. I found two metaphors for this:
1. You remember unimportant things and you forget the important things cause you're too busy with something and you need to get some rest.
2. Every good thing is easily remembered, but also easily forgettable. Every bad thing stays in our mind forever.
3. We don't have complete control of our minds and thoughts.

You're naughty-this is unforgettable, but the point is that you've just written four lines (two sentences).

Make it longer and I will worship you.
Kidding. I would seriously like it a whole lot more if there was more to review though. It looks like darko already covered everything else that came to my mind. Keep working on it!

peanutgallery007 wrote:Make it longer and I will worship you.
Kidding. I would seriously like it a whole lot more if there was more to review though. It looks like darko already covered everything else that came to my mind. Keep working on it!

I wonder if you guys are getting the fact it is a poem that spells something out. like it sez

P
O
E
M

it reads out poem.

P
O
E
M

it reads out poem.

OH!!! I'm sorry iCarlyfan, I never noticed. I guess I should pay a bit more attention while going on a reviewing spree, huh? Now that I get it, I don't think there is a thing you should do with it. I love it

I think it is perfect, but if you could make a set of word poems, and eventually write a paragraph. That would be awesome.

peanutgallery007 wrote:

P
O
E
M

it reads out poem.

OH!!! I'm sorry iCarlyfan, I never noticed. I guess I should pay a bit more attention while going on a reviewing spree, huh? Now that I get it, I don't think there is a thing you should do with it. I love it

LOL!!! Neither did I when I first read the POEM. I guess I'm just stupid.

I like the first line, it sounds very nice. The rest of it just doesn't fit together very well, especially the second line, which sounds very forced. I don't think that just by making the first letters spell "POEM" this qualifys as a great piece. Anyone could spell that out, you need to make the lines themselves unique and memorable. You began by making a statement about poetry itself in the first line, maybe this could be improved by countinuing on that train of thought.

Ooh!
Very obscure!!
But I liked it.
I liked how you said "vivid imagery"
Vivid is a good word.
And imagery is something different from "picture" which is so commonly used.
Its simple.
And I just realized that is spells POEM. Haha
Its very mysterious.
LIke it could be about someone. Or just a...thoughtful anecdote.
Very...hmm... alluring I suppose you could say, in a weird way that i can't seem to communicate. Hahaha