Threnody

They'll try to tell you
That what you saw
Was just a nightmare
But what would force you
To wake up crying an ocean
For the things you've seen

Every moment a bell rings
It's said to toll for you
But it tolls for them
They who expect it to
Ring on command
For you

And the rain's still falling
On your soul
All around your intuition
A fusillade of sound
That drowns you out
And keeps you hoping

Crying shows weakness They say
But really, it's the thought that counts
Once the droplets begin
It's easy to think yourself strong
So what is weakness
What is strength

The river welcomes you with open arms
A centre that will hold you
Until you feel again
A place that will revitalize you
recover you from all the false morals
About showing you're too resolute for tears

But it's still raining outside
And the grass is still greener
And you'd rather be wrapped up
In your distracting life
Than what you're really entangled in
You're still trapped in your threnody

That was an amazing poem. Um. That's it. It could use some punctuation but otherwise it was deep and well written. I like it a lot.

They'll try to tell you
That what you saw
Was just a nightmare
But what would force you
To wake up crying an ocean
For the things you've seen

^^
Favorite stanza

Hmm...the concept and thought behind the poem was good. Dark, slightly morbid, I enjoyed it.

My nit-picks are;
-Punctuation should be added
-A little more meter/syllable (I can't find the correct word I'm looking for right now so I'm using these ones...my mind is drawing blanks!) balance because one line is short and then the next is longer and then the next is medium length. It is kind of confusing because of this and when one reads it, it is read unsteadily.

My favourite lines were

And the rain's still falling

On your soul

Other than that, it was a good poem but not the best. I liked the concept behind it.

This is a really good poem. It leaves the reader to figure out what you're talking about as they read it, and then at the end, you still don't really say what it's about. It leaves the reader to think of what they think it's about.
or at least that's what I thought of it.
There are very good metaphors, but you could probably use some more punctuation at the ends of the lines.

Punctuation
This is very rare for me, but I like this poem without punctuation. You managed very well to keep things clear without it, which I know can be difficult. The one thing I would change is adding questions marks where they fit—question marks (especially when at the end of a stanza) can usually work as an exception to the rule of consistency. I’d put one at the end of the first stanza, and two for these questions:
“So what is weakness?
What is strength?”

Rhythm

Remember, rhythm is the flow of your words; the way people read them, meaning you need it to be smooth and (for lack of a better word xD) rhythmic. Rather than going through and finding, and pointing out, any tiny glitches in your rhythm, I’m going to tell you what I tell everyone: reading your poem aloud does wonders. If you read through it 3 times in your head you probably wouldn’t find everything you’d find by reading it aloud even once.
What I think would work especially well for this poem is if you established a meter for it. Snoink wrote an article about it, very helpful: viewarticlebody.php?t=19433

Content
Almost every stanza you have here includes/is founded on a metaphor. I really like that about this poem. The imagery is lovely.
I would like to see you include some in this stanza:
Crying shows weakness They say
But really, it's the thought that counts
Once the droplets begin
It's easy to think yourself strong
So what is weakness
What is strength
You’re verging on the unoriginal. I think it would be improved by some colour, like you give your other stanzas.

The subject of this poem is of the kind that might be different to everybody, which I like. It’s something everyone can relate to, which is a key factor in creating a successful poem. Good job with that.

What I would like to see is a more obvious connection between each stanza. They seem a little disjointed, as they are. Think of an essay, or a story, how each paragraph is a new idea, but they’re connected, and the reader can see that. That’s how it ought to be here.
Take for instance the first two stanzas: they share a connection, both mentioning “them”. I think you could help that by mentioning “them” sooner in the second stanza, but it works.
However, the 2nd and the 3rd stanzas are where you start to encounter a problem. You say “And”.
“And the rain's still falling
On your soul.”
But you don’t lead into it in the stanza before.
I think that’s one of the more important things to fix.

I really like the ending, by the way. Good job.

I love this, nicely written. Well done.

But it's still raining outside
And the grass is still greener
And you'd rather be wrapped up
In your distracting life
Than what you're really entangled in
You're still trapped in your threnody

My favorite part

Nice poem, but... It sounded like a song. Of course poems are, in a way, songs, but this sounded like a song.

On with the review:

They'll try to tell you

That what you saw

Was just a nightmare

But what would force you

To wake up crying an ocean [this part I don't get: But what would force you, to wake up, crying an ocean, for the things you've seen?. It seems a tad bit forced the words should be rethought to give it a better flow. Try reading it aloud a few times to see what I mean.]

For the things you've seen



Every moment a bell rings

It's said to toll for you

But it tolls for them

They who expect it to

Ring on command [Ditch the "command" and just write: " They who expect it to ring for you." Also, the word "they doesn't fit... Maybe "Them", or if you don't want to be so repetitive: "Whom expect it to...]

For you



And the rain's still falling

On your soul

All around your intuition [ This part; is continuance to the "On your soul" or does it start the "A fusillade sound" part? Word choices my friend make it clearer, not too clear but readable.]

A fusillade of sound

That drowns you out

And keeps you hoping



Crying shows weakness they say

But really, it's the thought that counts

Once the droplets begin [Begin to what? Continue this part it seems awkward... Too short, as if it would want to be continued.]

It's easy to think yourself strong

So what is weakness?

What is strength?



The river welcomes you with open arms

A centre that will hold you

Until you feel again

A place that will revitalize you

Recover you from all the false morals

About showing you're too resolute for tears



But it's still raining outside

And the grass is still greener [What's up with that? "The grass is still greener..." put a rime in it or just change it all together; it isn't a really important part.]

And you'd rather be wrapped up

In your distracting life

Than what you're really entangled in

You're still trapped in your threnody

Nice ending. Liked the poem.

Now...PUNCTUATION!! I didn't mark them there because that would just use all the space and would look really untidy. But seriously! Songs don't necessarily need punctuation, but poems do. You're missing most of the commas and all the periods.

Also get rid of all the apostrophes; Away with them. It will make the poem look wiser and take away some of the "song" elements from it. Taking away the apostrophes would also make some parts flow much better.

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LORD ANZIUS WUZ HERE