Snow White

{This might get kind of confusing, but just so you know, I used the form of a girl to portray a snow storm, so be prepared for a weird way of writing.}


{Snow White}

The snow falls down,
Purest white.

It flutters down,
Out of the sky.

Landing softly,
Not a sound.

While all are sleeping,
Unawares.

All except a single girl,
Who only wore a nightgown.

She walked outside,
Into the night.

And as she walked,
She paused, looked back.

At the cottage,
Aglow behind her.

She smiled sadly
Shrugged and turned.

Walking far away
Without a word.

Claeren* was gone.

{* Claeren is Welsh for Snow White.}

Hi, Claeren! I'm Music.

The snow falls down,
Purest white.

It flutters down,
Out of the sky.

Landing softly,
Not a sound.

While all are sleeping,
Unaware[s]s[/s].

All except a single girl,
[s]Who only wore a nightgown.[/s]Wearing only a nightgown. Here, you changed the tense from present to past. I didn't like that.

She walk[s]ed[/s]s outside,
Into the night.

And as she walk[s]ed[/s]s,
She pause[s]d[/s]s, look[s]ed[/s]s back.

At the cottage,
Aglow behind her.

She smile[s]d[/s]s sadly,
Shrug[s]ged[/s]s, and turn[s]ed[/s]s.

Walking far away
Without a word.

Claeren [s]wa[/s]is gone.

Hey there! Overall, I thought it was a pretty good poem. You used description fairly well. It just irked me when you changed tenses. Also, the letters starting each line should only be capitalized if they start a new sentence.

Anyway, nice job! Keep it up! Gold star for you.

Love,
Music.