Shady Debate

How can shades be judged?

White is nothing

Heavenly pleasure,
White is not
Tainted
By the different colors of emotion

Black is evil

Deep sleep,
Taken into the depths of Serenity,
Black is formed
By all colors,
It has feeling
And restfulness

The solution?

Grey,
The equalizer between them

Hello, my name is Colt, and I'll be reviewing your work this evening. I must say, this is a creative, outside-the-box idea. I hope you build on to it. Yay first reviewer for once!

White is nothing (I would add punctuation or something here, perhaps a colon or something)



Heavenly pleasure,

White is not (repetition yay!)

Tainted (seems like it doesn't fit here)

By the different colors of emotion

(I think this part could be better by adding similes and metaphors, maybe personification at the emotion part? Add more description)

Black is evil



Deep sleep,

Taken into the depths of Serenity,

Black is formed (more repetition)

By all colors,

It has feeling

And restfulness

(Once again, more descriptions please, and add some metaphors or similes and spice up the poem)


Good job overall! And you remember the 2:1 rule! Excellent! I'm impressed.

Judging poetry is hard. I am not sure if the incorrect parts are a result of faulty research or creative license.

White is nothing [White is actually every color put together]



Heavenly pleasure,

White is not

Tainted

By the different colors of emotion



Black is evil



Deep sleep,

Taken into the depths of Serenity,

Black is formed

By all colors, [Black is the absence of color, not its product]

It has feeling [Feeling and restfulness do not compliment each other]

And restfulness



The solution?



Grey,

The equalizer between them

The above quote is my take on the wording of the poem. As for the actual content it is a weak way to describing the "via media". I say it is weak because the middle way is supposed mediate between two paradigms of action(or thought), but the poem does not classify Black as an antithesis to white. Nothing is not the antithesis of Evil. The antithesis of Evil is Good. An improvement, if you want to emphasize your last line on gray, would be starting by saying "White is good."

(On a side note, Nothing can be the antithesis of good if you understand evil to be nothing and good to be everything. But this does not have much to do with your poem. I'm assuming you consider White and Black as two entities, and Nothing in itself cannot be an entity, since it is nothing)

To put it another way, Gray is the mediator between Black and White, right? But the poem does not describes Black and White is being opposite, just two different things.

Thank you guys! *hugs* I needed those reviews