Life

Angry faces glare up at me as I walk my final few steps
I tell myself that it will only take a few minutes
Knees weak, I feel the need to shout
"I harmed no one!"
But i cannot say a word for my lips weigh a ton

I want to sob and run for the comfort of home
There life was peaceful, sweet, i was free to roam
The heavy chains that bind my feet banish all hope
I try not to dwell on the coarse, roughness of the rope

It will be over soon I think and close my eyes
I begin to wonder what it will be like to die
What did I do to be in this place?
I've not lied, cheated, or stole,
I want to scream as tears run down my face

One of the last sights my eyes ever see
is my mother, my father, my poor family
They all hang their heads in shame
wondering how their daughter could be part of such a malicious game
Now, you see, I am innocent of all they accuse me
but that makes no difference, i am an example to be

All that now lays in front of my eyes is dark
The black sack does nothing to slow my heart
With my vision now gone, i breathe deep
The sweet feeling of life I am trying to keep

If only i could have just one more chance
It seems that my life has passed me by in a glance
But now, it is only the footsteps I hear
Accompanied by the awful, loud jeers

It is almost over, my life is almost done
I wonder if God will grant me another one
All I can hope for now is that it will be fast
I squeeze my eyes shut and wish for my death to be past

And then, the sound of the lever stills the air
the wood where I've been standing just isn't there
Now the funny thing is, I don't remember feeling a thing
For in that moment I hear a sweet robin sing

I heard the babbling of the nearby creek
the wind blowing through the pines, a sound so unique
the soft sun shined, I smelt the honeysuckle tree
And I felt the life flowing through me

~Please review, i know this needs some help ~

Overall, I thought this was really good. You painted a really vivid picture of someone walking to their death. However, the piece could still be polished up and made even better.

The main issue is the rhyme scheme. It's better than a lot of others on here, but there's still some forced rhyming and broken rhythm. It seems like a lot of this stems from wordiness. You could easily cut down some lines so that they are more concise and flow better.

Example: "The black sack does nothing to lower the speed of my heart" could be "The black sack does nothing to slow my heart."

There's also a few places where you break the AABB rhyme scheme, like the first and third stanzas. I'm not sure how you can fix those, because I'm no good at rhyming poetry, so I'll let other reviewers help you with that.

The next big issue is punctuation. There's hardly any, and it's annoying. The reader stops focusing on the story and starts wondering "Shouldn't there be a period there?" Good punctuation defines the structure so that the reader doesn't have to worry about it. Just add punctuation the way you would in a paragraph and you should be fine.

Lastly, there are a few grammar errors. "I" needs to be capitalized consistently. "Robin" in the second-to-last stanza is lowercase. And I don't think you meant to say "hang their" twice in this line:

They all hang their hang their heads in shame

Or if you did, make it more obvious.

Overall, pretty good, just needs some cleaning up. Great job and keep writing!

It seems to me that the MC is getting executed, but I do not know why...
it is a good job of describing the anxiety, but it leaves the reader wondering what happened...
and I just finished listening to the song "Higwayman" the Highwaymen,

I was a highwayman. Along the coach roads I did ride
With sword and pistol by my side
Many a young maid lost her baubles to my trade
Many a soldier shed his lifeblood on my blade
The bastards hung me in the spring of twenty-five
But I am still alive.

thats what I kept thinking about as I read it... did the condemned person actually do anything? or getting hung for nothing? or is she getting killed for something she does not think is a crime?

perhaps... the rime commited isnt really a crime, but she knew it was illegal... or perhjaps she does not think it should be illegal, for she harmed no one...

anyhow, it was a good poem,

Peace,
God