Knowledge

Knowledge
Knowledge is what tears us apart,
Leaving us in withered piles,
Along the ground.

Knowledge is what saves us,
From epidemics,
From itself.

Knowledge creates fear
Fear nudges,
Fear controls.

With one we have the other,
We are knowledge,
We are fear.

We are monsters,
We are angels.
Knowledge is key.

You should have at least two reviews before you post your own work, but it's okay. I actually really like this. Having the stanzas almost contradict each other is a good way of showing how knowledge is a precarious thing, both good and bad. It took me a few times to read it to see that. And I like it. There is one stanza I don't really like though: "We are knowledge/ We are fear" I'm not sure why, but this seems odd. This is the only time you repeat the word knowledge twice in a stanza. And saying "we" are sounds a little... strange. Other than that, great job. Gold star!

Oooh; this is interesting, yes it is.

I really liked it to be honest! It's growing on me as I speak. I liked the way that you structured it, although I'm not sure why you did. [Bangs self on the head] I'm just a bit dumb.

Okay, so what did I like? You flow was spot and and the rhythm was consistent which make it easier to read, most definately. You had it at the right length too, which is good because when a poem drags on... Well, I get BORED.

Not too sure about the repetition of the word 'knowledge' so much, but I think that's growing on me as well. So good work!

Only thing, which is just nick-pickety, would be that I dont think you need to spereate the last line from the last stanza - it would work well together and therefore you keep your structure to some point.

Good work!

Hey.XD Welcome here. oh, thanks for the review you gave my poem, I am here to return the favor.

My first thought on this poem was that it was the type that makes people think. It gives hints on concepts and ideas that people delve deeper into in their mind. This is a vivid poem that shows a picture of something else. For example you first stanza made a picture of a war in my head but your words formed a debate in my mind about the power of knowledge in politics. haha. I suppose you now think I'm, schizophrenic.

Anyway, 'twas a lovely poem. It was not simply a poem that expressed emotions it was also really powerful in the way it expressed ideas.

keep writing. welcome again. PM me if ya need anything of if you wish to talk randomly.

--Knightly

Oh, hi there, imapoemperson! I'm June, and I am your critic for the moment!


This was interesting, to say the least. Very intelligent, well thought out.

Let's jump quickly to a part further along the line:

Knowledge creates fear

Fear nudges,

Fear controls.

I'm not so sure that I understand why you're using "Fear nudges" and "Fear controls" in this this way; it's sounding fragmented and unconnected. I think that if you run over this, push and pull a bit, then you can get a steady flow worked out of this, dear.

However, this is kind of contradictory to what you said in the following stanza. I'm not sure if you meant it to have a confusing effect on us, but it's-- to say the least-- confusing.

I enjoyed the structure of this, dear, it was perfect, and the punctuation was spot on.

Just, roll over this a few times, dear. Read it aloud, making sure that everything flows, and think harder about your stanzas! Sometimes, when we write, it's easy to assume that everyone else will be able to intrepret something in the same way it's written. Nay, it's not that easy!

So, take a look at this from an outsiders point of view, dear, and see what you come up with. Feel free to PM me for help, or to give me a heads up on your progress... or! If you want a review.

June

Hello! First of all, I like this and think its great for your age, I only a have a few nick picks I’d like to point out. ^^

Knowledge is what tears us apart,

Leaving us in withered piles,

Along the ground.

Knowledge is what saves us,

From epidemics,

From itself.

Knowledge creates fear

Fear nudges,

Fear controls.

First of all, I’d like clear this bit up for June. You’re simply using personification, so those lines are perfectly fine. Though I would of went a little more depth.

With knowledge there is no fear,

We are knowledge,

We are fear.

Though I’m not sure with these lines. If knowledge is fear then why do you state before that that with knowledge there is no fear? I’d add to that to clear it up a bit.

We are monsters,

We are angels.

Knowledge is key.

Again I think you could of added to this idea, a little more to these last lines wouldn’t hurt.

*Overall not bad, just look into those few nick picks and keep writing. ^^

I love this poem but this stanza;
With knowledge there is no fear,

We are knowledge,

We are fear

It's a little odd. It says Knowledge twice. It also says fear twice. It just sounds like you are repeating yourself. This poem is so true though! I love it!

--peanutgallery007