I'm still writing this chapter, so I'll have more up later.
“Ready?” He grabbed my hand and led me to the edge of the cliff. The cold wind caressed my barely clothed body. I felt like I was flying; that we could do anything together.
“Yeah,” I uttered breathlessly.
“One, two, three!” And we jumped into the dark abyss waiting for us.
How I wish for those days.
“Ms. Carlyle? Are you still with us?” Mr. McHenry called to me. I woke from my daydream. Every eye in the class was looking at me with smug expressions, feeling good that it wasn't them that got caught. My cheeks flushed.
“Sorry. It won’t happen again,” I managed to stutter.
“Well then, can you read the next stanza for the class?”
“Which one?” The whole class snickered. I blushed and slumped in my seat, just wanting to get this over with.
“Page thirty seven, second paragraph on the page.”
“It was not death, for I stood up,
And all the dead lie down;
It was not night, for all the bells
Put out their tongues, for noon.”
When I finished reading, I felt a pair of eyes on me. I pretended not to notice and seem as if I was completely engrossed in the poetry book we were reading. I absolutely loved Emily Dickinson, so it wasn’t all that hard. But as the clock ticked away, I was curious to see who it was. I moved my long blond hair out of my peripheral vision and slightly turned. I was met with the stare of a brown haired boy that I had never seen before. He looked away, obviously embarrassed, as did I, but I couldn’t get him out of my head. Other than Greg, no other guy had ever looked at me like that. This guy must be new, because to everyone else, I was just a piece of matter that no one really cared about.
When class ended, I made a beeline for the door, hoping no one would care enough to talk to me about slacking off in class. Unfortunately, Mr. McHenry couldn’t catch a hint for his life, so I wasn’t surprised to hear his voice calling after me.
“Ms. Carlyle, can you come back here?” I turned back compliantly and made my way back from the crowd of people exiting the room. Reaching his desk, I realized that he wasn’t the only one there. Barron Kennessy was there too. He was a huge jerk, and he sent a kid to the hospital last semester. I was guessing he was here as a punishment too.
“Ms. Carlyle,” McHenry started, “What you did today in class was unacceptable. I should have given you an automatic detention since this is one of many disruptances you have caused, but since you are one of my finer students, I’ll give you another option.
“After school, you will help Barron on a piece that will be read tomorrow during class. Plenty of other students will be presenting, so this isn’t considered calling you out. Am I clear?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Barron, behave yourself.” With that, he shooed us away. When we were out of earshot, Barron got right in my face.
“Look, Lane. I don’t do that pussy little poetry crap you like to do, so I ain’t doing any of the work. I’ll meet you in the library in like an hour or something, but you’re not saying a word to McHenry. I’m not getting suspended again. Got it?”
“Sure. But I’m reading it in class. I’m not letting you taking credit.”
“Whatever.” And he walked away.
Once I was in the library, I felt more at peace. I grabbed a small table near the back, put in my earphones and turned on some Hawthorne Heights, and began writing notes. But ten minutes through, I felt the same eyes on me during class were on me now. I turned around, and saw the new kid staring at me again, three tables over. He sat with Brett Jenkins and Will Stuart, two of the hottest guys in our grade. I was surprised that they would take a new kid under their wing, but who was I to say that he was like, nice? I didn’t even know his name.
I tried to focus on my poem, and began to write.
Faces surround my field of vision
I cannot find one that stands out
One person is hard to differentiate
From anyone else in the crowd
Not half bad, I thought. Suddenly, Brett and Will looked over at me. I got sly smiles from both of them, which had never happened before. They usually just looked over me like everyone else. Then New Kid started to walk over. I looked back at my paper, writing like there was no tomorrow, when he tapped on my shoulder.
“Hello?” I turned to look at him with a blank expression, hopefully scaring him away, but he didn’t look fazed.
“Yeah?”
“Uh, look, those two guys want me to ask you if you want to go out with them, but I don’t think that would be such a great idea.” I laughed at him.
“And why would that be?”
“Because I think they might be gay.”
“Ha, very funny. Who are you anyway?”
“Dimitri. And I’m not kidding. Those two are WAY to close if you ask me.”
“Sure, but why the sudden interest? I’m a nobody to them.”
“Well they heard that you broke up with your boyfriend. Then they saw that you were a wreck, and girls like that are usually easy.”
“This girl isn’t. So go tell them to suck it.” Instead of leaving, he sat down in the chair across from me. I looked over at the two guys, and instead of getting mad; they gave Dimitri thumbs up. Damn. The guy tricked me.
“What do you want?” I dared speak loud enough for him to get I was peeved.
“I wanted to ask you something.” He gave me a serious look.
“You’ve got thirty seconds.”
“Ok, so there’s this party tomorrow night. I know you don’t like me, but it’s my birthday and I don’t have a date. All you have to do is show up with me.”
“Uh, why me then? You can see that I’m not the best pick of the crop.”
“Well, I can tell you need to get out, because of Greg.” I pretended not to let that get to me, but a lump caught in my throat.
“I don’t need your pity.”
“It’s not pity. I want you to go with me.” He flashed me a smile and I melted a bit inside.
“Fine, but don’t expect me to stick around for long.” I glared at him, and he got up and left. Thank god. This had better be a kick-ass party.
I finished up my poem, satisfied with the product and having been undisturbed. As I left the library, I thought about the party. I wasn’t sure if I would actually go, but I wanted to drive to the mall before getting home, just in case. But when I started the ignition, Emily opened the passenger door and hopped in.
“Lane, where have you been? I haven’t seen you since Greg left and that was like a month ago! I just got back from China, and it was amazing! Did you do anything except for just come here and like, learn? Gag, you need to get out more.” I almost forgot how excitable and hyper she was.
“Hey, Em. I’ve been here the whole time, and actually I’m going to the mall. The new guy, Dimitri, is taking me to a party or something. I don’t know if I’ll actually go, but just in case, you know?”
“Holy crap! I’ll go with you! We’ll make you look hot. I mean, you’ve got the structure; you just need the effort. Let’s hit it!”
“What about your car?”
“I’ll get it later. It won’t hurt if I take the bus tomorrow.” I loved that about Emily. She didn’t care if she was the only junior taking the bus or not. We would do anything for each other, and we definitely balanced each other out. It was easier for her to talk and I to listen.
And the whole time she did talk. If it wasn’t about how in China all of the plugs were different it was about how she had to have her mom do everything for her, like buy clothes and order food because she never bothered to pay attention in her Chinese lessons. When I pulled into the parking lot, she was freaking out about how a hot guy was walking alone about 20 feet from us, and that, God forbid, a dude that smoking should never be alone. When we saw his face up close, he reminded me of Greg. I felt the lump in my throat again, but I shoved it away before tears could form. I could never cry at the mall.
For 3 hours, we searched every store in search of the perfect party outfit. My mom called me an hour in wondering where I was, having just gotten home from work. Her and my dad worked crazy hours, like taking holidays and weekends, too. I got to do what I wanted, but luckily for them I’m not some crazy wild child.
In the end, I had a “vintage” Led Zeppelin shirt from Hot Topic, and destroyed jeans. Emily tried to get me to buy a zebra halter and a miniskirt, but I told her I wanted to look casual, not like a hooker. She didn’t understand where I was coming from and bought the ensemble herself. Sometimes, I honestly didn’t understand her.
We walked through the mall for a bit afterwards, got some stuff from the food court, and ran into a girl that Emily knew from tennis, so I walked off to the ladies while they caught up. When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t like the girl I had a month ago. My face was narrower; I was skinnier, taller, and paler. Hmm. I hadn’t know I had gone for the anorexic look since Greg left. I needed to eat more.
I was contemplating possible makeup purchases when Jill McIntyre walked in. She was a Barbie Queen, so fake looking I was sure she got her whole face for her sweet sixteen. We used to be best friends in grade school, but then she got boobs and suddenly she was part of the “popular” people at my school. When she passed me, it looked like she tried to give me an evil look, but with all that plastic, it looked more like she was constipated or something. I ignored her and went back to assessing my face.
Emily was taking a long time coming in, so I went out and checked for her. I was shocked to see her and her friend ogling Dimitri. She took her size two hips and swung them as she walked over to him, flipping her wavy black hair in the process. Em could be seducing when she wanted to be, but she obviously wanted her point made and was flipping her head around like a maniac by the time she reached him. Not bothering to sit on the chair and opting for the table, she batted her eyelashes. I couldn’t help but laugh a bit at the spectacle. I decided to save her when she looked like she was going to get whiplash and walked over.
“Emily, I see you’ve met Dimitri.” She looked at me with surprise and realization on her face. She got up, gave one last hair flip and smile, and winked at me.
“I’ll be over here when you’re done.” I so didn’t want to be left alone with him, but didn’t show it.
“Hey. Sorry about that. Emily kind of… out of hand sometimes to put it politely. But she’s my best friend. What can I do?”
“No problem. Out shopping for the party or just because?” No way was I giving him the satisfaction of letting him be right.
“Just because. I don’t really care what I wear. I might not even come.”
“Well, you’d be breaking a promise.”
“It wasn’t a promise. I was just caught up in a moment of nice.”
“You call that nice? Wow, I wouldn’t want to be caught on your bad side.”
“Yeah. Well here’s my number by the way. You’re going to need it if you want me to show up. I won’t exactly know where to go.” He handed me his cell phone and I programmed my number in it. I handed it back to him, said goodbye and see you around, and left. I met Emily back up and she was bursting. She wanted to know everything, but I told her I’d call her tonight. She said she was catching a ride home from Anna, the tennis friend, and that she’d ring me as soon as she got back. They left the mall, and I decided to splurge and get some makeup. I mean, I had mascara and everything, but I went to Sephora and got black eyeliner, brown and gray eye shadow, and some lotion that smelled like apples. I spent more in that one trip then I had ever spent in one place at one time. It was crazy, but when I tried it out when I got home, it was well worth it. I looked at least a bit less pale.
Dimitri had better be happy I had done all this for him, because I had never done this for Greg.
